My wife asked me why I insist on measuring our bookshelf when I get home from a night of drinking.

How else am I going to keep my stories straight.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/OptimusJosh
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
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A bookshelf ya
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nicke_LOL
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
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Me: (trying to fix my wife's IKEA bookshelf)

Wife: "guess it's just past it's Shelf Life"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RandomArrr
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2018
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A man was killed when his bookshelf collapsed....

Police say he had only his shelf to blame.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NeGuy1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2017
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I added a "bookshelf" to a stool.
πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Commander
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2015
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My wife and I bought a new bookshelf

I was quickly filling the shelf with my books, when she said, "leave some room for your wife on the bookshelf!"

I turned to her with a quizzical look and asked, "are you going to fit on the bookshelf?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wtayjay
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2014
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Was helping move furniture around, and came across a broken bookshelf.

"Looks like this one is well past it's shelf life." Groans were had by all.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Guy86
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2014
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What type of elf has the most books?

A bookshelf.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2018
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One day my dad handed me a river stone...

... it was a pretty stone, well rounded and a smooth surface.

Dad: "This is a very special stone, you should give it to your girlfriend."

Me: "Um... OK, sure."

Dad: "Do you know what kind of stone this is?"

Me: "A river stone? No, not really..."

Dad: "They call it a 'Sex Stone'."

Me: Raises eyebrow "Oh?"

Dad: "Do you know why they call it that?"

Me: "Why?"

Dad: "Because it's just another fucking rock."

ΰ² _ΰ² 

Well, I still have it on my bookshelf, and she's now my wife, so sure.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/StJimmysAddiction
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2014
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dad joked my brother

My brother was moving out of the house. Our mom had a bookshelf she was trying to give away to him. She was telling him it’d be great to put movies on, or CD’s, or figurines, etc. She listed everything but books. So, when she was done my brother said β€œoh yeah? What about books?” and without thinking I said β€œthat’s a novel idea”. He almost punched me in the face.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/raven_haired
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2014
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