Instead of decorating my whole house this year, I decided to put all of my lights in my drinks cupboard instead..

We'll Christmas is all about Makings Spirits Bright

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šŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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Gerald, a young bull elephant was using the bathroom at his girlfriend's Bethany's apartment when he noticed one of those little pregnancy test things, tucked behind the cupboard...

... he picked it up carefully with his trunk and peered at the little window with a racing heart...

Positive! ... Brenda was pregnant!

OMG... fear, excitement, shock... and yet more worrying "why hasn't she told me?"

A hundred scenarios raced through his head, his ears trembling, his trunk twitching as each played out...

Finally he calmed... maybe she was waiting for the right moment to tell him the news?

He chose to be patient... he watched her carefully the whole day, carefully avoiding anything that might show that he knew... but Bethany gave no hints whatsoever.

Several days went by, and he grew more and more anxious.

Finally, he could take it no longer...

"Bethany..." he said

"It's time we discussed the elephant in the womb".

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/fractiousrhubarb
šŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
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I looked in the cupboard to find some Indian bread

But we had naan

šŸ‘︎ 5
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/deepBlueCheese
šŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
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My phone was showing "Battery low". So I placed it on top of the cupboard.

It worked. Can't see the notification any more.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/madjholu
šŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
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I may not be a dad, but what do I do everytime I go to the sink cupboard in the kitchen?

I sing: "Under the Sink (Under the Sink)!" Even in a poor slightly Jamaican accent...

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Dartis_X-UI
šŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
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Today I messed up and bought an entire cupboard of beef stock.

But hey, at least Iā€™m now a boullionnaire

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/redback3
šŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2020
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I bet my girlfriend that I could make a car out of anything from the kitchen cupboard

Should have seen her face when I drove pasta

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/PhatPhlaps
šŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
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Who is in charge of the stationary cupboard?

The Ruler

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šŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
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Mothers Cupboard

A 6 year old opened her mothers cupboard, and was shocked to find an Anti Aging Cream, promising to make one look 10 Years Younger.
Intrigued, the 6 year old put some on... all of a sudden, she just vanished. Never seen again.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/wecax49
šŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
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They were losing the battle, until they started chucking the tops of kitchen cupboards at the enemy.

It was a counter attack.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Peteman22
šŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2019
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Why did the cupboard have therapy?

It had low shelf-esteem.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
šŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2018
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Had new soft close cupboard doors installed and realised how chaste they are

Because you can't bang them.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/the_merchant96
šŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
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Dad, after closing the cupboard door and shooting me a panicked look

We need to get to the shop, quickly! We're running out of thyme!

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šŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2016
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The body builder opened the cupboard, astonished at the lack of protein powder he said...

No whey!

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Jay_Hogwarts
šŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2017
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I built a cupboard, but I don't want to show you...

..because I'm too shelf-conscious.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/boxofrabbits
šŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2014
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My girlfriend was trying to reach something high in a cupboard. I asked if she had the choice between a step-stool or something taller...

...would she chose the latter?

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Please_Disregard
šŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2017
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Excuse me, I just need to get in that cupboard...

Everytime SO is cooking and I'm in the way, I answer with the same response: "I'm not sure you'll fit"

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Edgar_Poe
šŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2014
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While cleaning out the cupboard...

Me and my gf threw out a whole bunch of old packets of herbs until there's only one, unopened one left.

I look pointedly at then turn to her wearing my biggest shit-eating grin on and say, "Baby, we've got nothing but thyme..."

There's a pause as she absorbs what I said, sighs heavily and calls me a dick while I proceed to piss myself laughing.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/hatchman1990
šŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2014
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