because I'm Sofa King lazy.
Sounded like she enjoyed her ménage à froid.
Turns out I wasn’t ready for the reaper cushions.
Because they are Sofa King good.
I said that it made me feel manly, like I was camping...
...with a really angry bear somewhere close by...
She whispered in my ear "Shall we take this upstairs"? I replied "Go on then, you grab this end and I'll get the other"
At the Führerniture store.
It was just lowercase.
One per cushion
Their prices are Sofa King cheap!
Because it’s 'so far'.
I guess that makes it bi-sectional.
He just sat in the corner with a smirk on his face.
She smiled, blushed a little and asked, "Why? Because I have so many layers to my personality!?"
"Oh, OK, something stupid like, you'll cry when you slice me up?!"
"OK! OK! You'd prefer it if I was battered?!"
"You either love me or hate me? I'm good in small doses? I can be a bit overpowering?!"
"No, no and no!"
Exasperated, she shrieked, "Oh, all right then, why?!"
"You smell like an onion!"
"...sectionally transmitted diseases!"
Dad: No, you're lying, I'm standing.
Overheard my dad and brother
Wife was trying to feed our new born, and since it was via a C-section, the amount of milk being produced is minimal for the first week. Baby was cranky and some milk spilled and she got upset...
"Don't cry over spilled milk" - I said..
Also, told her I can now post the above to /r/dadjokes because I'm a dad.
...with a really angry bear somewhere close by.