When I went to buy comfy shoes, I heard the fitter mimic me as he went to retrieve them, "I need some comfy shoes. Wah wah!"

The shoes he brought were indeed comfy. But I can't get over the fact that I was moc-ed.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
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What do plants like to relax on?


πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ‘€︎ u/enjoyinglifetoday
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2021
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Feeling β€œexhausted” ? Have a seat !
πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ‘€︎ u/spinnaker190
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2021
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People always ask where I got my incredibly detailed tattoo done, but they never believe me when I tell them Spain...

Nobody expects the Spanish ink precision...

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2018
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Is that a tread or a promise?
πŸ‘︎ 178
πŸ‘€︎ u/fightmilk22
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2018
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Sleeping like a log is overrated

The fireplace isn't very comfy.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ‘€︎ u/LeoTheSpiderboy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2019
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My 6 year old daughter dad-joked me.

Sitting in my comfy chair playing overwatch. She jumps on my head from behind.

I say(sort of mad), "what do you think you're doing"

She replies(cooly), "watching you play overwatch over you."

My kid is too cool for me,

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ‘€︎ u/The-1st-One
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2017
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Girlfriend was talking about her coworker...

"I don't know why Rosemary hates me so much. " honey, I have some sage advice for you... If you want Rosemary to like you you just have to give her thyme. Go about it gingerly."

Bright side, the couch is comfy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hepatitisbees
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2016
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Amidst several groans, my dad and I were the only ones to laugh. Is your early 20s too early to embrace the dadjoke?

Earlier today, I entered the living room where my parents, younger brother, and some of his friends were hanging out. I proceeded to sit cross-legged (something I don't normally do) on a comfy, unoccupied armchair. My mom stared nostalgically at me and said, "You remind me of my dad. Back when he was alive, he used to sit exactly like that." Without missing a beat, my dad chimed in with, "I guess you could say he is a sitting image of his grandfather."

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ‘€︎ u/lord_of_catan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2015
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Got up to give a kiss to my gf

After I sat down on a comfy couch in the common room at college, and because of the material and weather, I was charged with static. So naturally when our lips got close, a huge bolt of static jumped between us. Laughter ensues and she says, "there's some sparks between us!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalxForm
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2015
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