Everyone seems to think next year will bring back some comforts of normalcy
I’m not so convinced though since 2021 is guaranteed to be an odd year
My girlfriend and I always disagree whether tea or coffee is superior, she said tea will always be there to comfort you, I said...
What did the officer say to comfort the foreigner he was arresting?
Don’t worry! These cuffs were designed for two-wrists.
I’ve heard southern comfort is nice,
Because normal comfort just tastes like fabric softener!
My daughter wants a boyfriend, but hasn't been asked out yet. To comfort her, I bought her a little lamb, and named it "Relation".
It's officially her first relationsheep.
Too many apostrophes for comfort.
What do you say to comfort an English teacher?
What do you say to comfort a grammar teacher?
How do you comfort a grammar nazi?
You pat them on the back and say their, there, they’re.
It is a comfort knowing that Dad is looking down on us.
But we should cut his hang glider out of the tree soon.
My wife told me to step out of my comfort zone and try yoga
I told her that'd be a stretch
I guess we've hit this level of comfort with each other
My SO asked if he could go down on me while I am on my period. He said he has always wanted to earn his 'red wings.' I stared at him a little weirded out and said 'well, ok, but I don't want to know how one earns their maple leafs.'
My cat is so comfortable he went into a comma
I read that Shakira struggles to sleep and get comfortable in bed.
Apparently its because her hips don’t lie
I finally managed to take the perfect nude and felt comfortable sending it to my wife
My secretary looked extra beautiful in that light and atmosphere!
I will have a very comfortable corpse bed when I die
It will be memory foam
I have strong memories
I went to a restaurant and when I sat down the waiter asked "comfortable"?
Why couldn't the meteor sit down comfortably?
My girlfriend and I bought a new mattress. When we got home and set it up, we were unsure about whether or not it would be comfortable enough.
She said, “Let’s sleep on it.”
I wrote a book about the most comfortable ways to sleep in a coffin.
They wouldn't publish it though, the publisher said that the intended audience was a dead market.
I hear that Neil Armstrong was very comfortable when he landed on the Moon.
And from the pictures I saw, his suit does seem like it has a lot of space inside
Why was the writer comfortable in the army?
He was familiar with the magazines.
He’s feline a lot more comfortable.
My son asked me, “Because of the pandemic, I’m on the computer 12 hours a day. Is that bad?”
Me: That can’t be comfortable. Try a chair instead.
I wasn’t sure how comfortable my new couch would be.
Keep safe during this pandemic and use an old padded bra to make yourself a comfortable mask. Just make sure you use the left cup...
Because if you use the right one you will look like a right tit.
Wow I was a wreck last night -- t-shirt under sweat clothes, under two cotton sheets, under a polypropylene comforter, and a quilt on top of that! I could NOT get warm!
I can't imagine how miserable I'd be if I didn't have that can of Pringles in the cupboard....
What do you call a cow that's comfortable to sit and relax on?
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel sticking out of his pants. The bartender says, “What’s with the steering wheel? That can’t be very comfortable.”
The pirate replies, “Aye, it’s driving me nuts.”
I have the best prostrate doctor.
Every time he examines me, he puts both hands on my shoulders to comfort me.
A man was walking g down the street...
When out of nowhere, he gets hit by a car and flipped over. A woman came running over as he was lying on the sidewalk, takes off her jacket and slides it u der his head.
"Are you comfortable?" The woman asked
"Meh, I make a living." He replied.
What’s the most comforting rock
What do you call it when a marketing genius is comfortable in bed?
The most ComForTable part of a conference room
I don't think I'll ever find a stable job
To be honest I'm not too comfortable around horses.
My friend said you need £250,000 to comfortably raise a baby.
Although in my experience, you only need two arms.
What do you say to comfort an English teacher?
How do you comfort a grammar nazi?
There their, they’re there
How do you comfort a grammar nazi?
What do you say to comfort a friend struggling with grammar?
How do you comfort a frightened grammar nazi?
There there, they're there
I wasn’t sure how comfortable my new couch would be.
I wasn’t too sure how comfortable my new couch would be.
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