Handball is a quiet game...

It's like racquetball without the racket.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28
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To keep fit, I’ve taken up quiet tennis.

It’s like regular tennis, but without the racquet.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14
🚨︎ report
My wife asked me if she could have some peace and quiet while she tried to cook dinner.

So i took the batteries out of the smoke alarm

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Derextus
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29
🚨︎ report
I had a game of quiet tennis today

It's just like regular tennis but without the racket.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/habsfan1112
πŸ“…︎ May 17
🚨︎ report
My wife asked me for some peace and quiet while she cooked dinner.

So I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Beespray9_8_9
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05
🚨︎ report
Thor has been really quiet through quarantine. I think he’s staying with his brother.

I heard it’s low key.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/supercman99
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26
🚨︎ report
An old woman goes to see the doctor. "I'm very gassy, but fortunately my farts are quiet and don't smell. In fact, I've farted three times since you came in, but know you haven't noticed at all."

The doc nods his head, gives her some pills and tells her to come back in a week.

A week later, the old woman comes back and is very upset. "I'm still very gassy, but now my farts are really loud and smell like a porta-potty at a chili festival!"

The doc says "Well now that we've cleared up your hearing and sense of smell, we can do something about your gas!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notagoodspelller
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16
🚨︎ report
It’s the quiet ones you have to watch out for
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ohsureyoudo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you quiet an italian?

Tie up their hands.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25
🚨︎ report
Why should a bowling alley be quiet?

So you can hear the pins drop!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04
🚨︎ report
What was the quiet rich-driven miner up to?

He was mining his own business.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrHollowed
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29
🚨︎ report
Just finished reading "All Quiet On The Western Front"

That book is really remarqueable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/finch770
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Must be a pretty quiet sub

I haven't seen anything since last decade!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Beatiford
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
🚨︎ report
I once got lost in a corn maze as dusk settled and everything grew quiet...

It was earie.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you get a cow to be quiet?

Press the mooot button.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WillieT351
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Flat earthers have been quiet recently.

They kind of fell off.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fezstacles
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2019
🚨︎ report
teaching crows to be quiet is a lost caws
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aaaaaaaaaaaadam
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Guess she wanted some peas and quiet
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jvegas2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife asked if she could have some peace & quiet while she cooked dinner

I said no problem & took the batteries out of the smoke alarms

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NYC_Dweller
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a quiet sheep?

A shhhhhhh-eep.

You thought I was going to say sheepish, didn’t you?

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
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What do you get when you mix dad jokes and the quiet game?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SprawlRunner
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
🚨︎ report
They say Atlas was the quiet, solemn type.

Always acting like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mkaic
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2019
🚨︎ report
I watched A Quiet Place for the first time

I was left speechless

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lucdav14
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Some German cars are very quiet.

They are barely audi-ble

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2019
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What did the snake give to her son when he wouldn’t be quiet?

An AntiHISStamine

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr-Burritos
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
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What do you call the awkward quiet that comes with sending someone your location on WhatsApp and they do not respond?

Pin drop silence

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πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2018
🚨︎ report
My baby-momma said she wanted to cook dinner in some peace and quiet...

...so I took the batteries out of the smoke detector.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BassWizard420
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2019
🚨︎ report
As a sufferer of hyperacusis, I really needed to buy a nice, quiet home.

Well, the real estate agent sold this place to me as being somewhere "you can hear a pin drop".

And that's how I ended up buying the apartment right above a fricking bowling alley.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/td941
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2019
🚨︎ report
The submariner was quiet and kept to himself while off duty...

... a subdued sub dude.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/anksil
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2018
🚨︎ report
I was walking through a camping shop with my son and I told him to be quiet.

He said, "But why?"

I whispered, "Because there's sleeping bags over there."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2018
🚨︎ report
be quiet inside a pharmacy...

you might wake the sleeping pills

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2017
🚨︎ report
PSA: DON'T STAY QUIET IF SOMEONE TEXTED YOU LIKE THIS.

There is a high chance that you were subjected to capital punishment.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2018
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Why is a prostitute quiet in bed?

She has a whoremoan defficiency.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheWildHorse
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2018
🚨︎ report
Why are Mexican restaurants always so quiet?

They don't wanna taco bout it

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2018
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Why are solos always so quiet?

Cuz they’re so low.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/k0L10
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2018
🚨︎ report
I bought a new uranium-based alarm clock last week but it's really quiet...

I thought this stuff was supposed to be radio-active!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WillSmithsBoobs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2016
🚨︎ report
This used to keep us quiet. Took a little while before we caught on

"Quiet kids. We're driving in a deaf child area!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sacramentalist
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2014
🚨︎ report
The quiet lawnmower

My Dad got me with this one the other day. We were sitting on the back porch when I saw my neighbor out mowing his lawn.

Me: wow, that lawnmower is really quiet!

Dad: Yea, he hasn't said a thing this whole time

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chrondo157
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2015
🚨︎ report
This sub is too quiet.

This is one of the only posts made all year.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2015
🚨︎ report
I had a game of quiet tennis today

It’s just like regular tennis but without the racket

πŸ‘︎ 163
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OwenJthomas89
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife asked me if she could have some peace and quiet while she tried to cook dinner.

So I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm.

πŸ‘︎ 198
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zozi0102
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife asked me if she could have some peace and quiet while she tried to cook...

So I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm.

πŸ‘︎ 74
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SerbianTarHeel
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I had a game of quiet tennis today.

It's just like regular tennis but without the racket!

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife asked me if she could have some peace and quiet while she tried to cook dinner

So I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm

πŸ‘︎ 226
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jgudnas
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
🚨︎ report
All quiet on the western front...

Was very Remarqueable.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Marv1236
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Some German cars are very quiet.

They are barely audi-ble

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I had a game of quiet tennis today...

It’s just like regular tennis but without the racket...

πŸ‘︎ 151
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2017
🚨︎ report

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