A man rushed into a Doctor's surgery, shouting ' help me please, I'm shrinking ' The Doctor calmly said ' now settle down a bit '..
..' you'll just have to learn to be a little patient '
why are skeletons so calm
cause nothing gets under their skin ah ah ah ah ah ah
My wife shouted, "You need to do more chores around the house!" Groaning, I pleaded, "Can we change the subject?" She smiled and calmly replied...
"Ok, more chores around the house need to be done by you."
If you have ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly
Because communication is key
Edit: it's from here, so please give the op credit
Keeping tropical fish at home can have a calming effect on the brain
Due to all the indoor fins
Doctor: Calm down, David. This is a very simple procedure.
Me: I’m not David.
Doctor: I know. I’m David.
What did the electrician say to calm down?
Ohmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Why do weighted blankets calm you down?
Because compression is the opposite of tension!
Mom here but hope you like it. Why do skeletons stay calm?
Nothing gets under their skin
Do you know why Jimmy Neutron is always calm?
This pun is a Cut above the rest
Why is water sometimes calm and peaceful, and others it's a terrifying tidal wave?
It can't help itself- its dipolar.
My daughter called me in a panic and asked, "Dad! My car just broke down! What should I do!?" I replied calmly...
"Whisper it some words of encouragement!"
The Egyptian government has asked Cairo’s taxi drivers to drive around and sound their horns in the hope that familiar sounds will help calm the residents following the pandemic.
Operation Toot And Calm ‘Em will last a week.
How do you calm down a grammar Nazi?
Give them a gentle pat on the back and say, "Their, There, They're."
How does a military dad alert his son that a hot lady is nearby?
A Kung Fu student asks his teacher, "Master, why does my ability not improve? I'm always defeated." And the master, pensive and forever patient, answers, "My dear pupil, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun and their wings seeming like flames?"
"Yes, my master, I have."
"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?"
"Yes, my master, I have witnessed it."
"And the moon, when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?"
"Yes, my master, I have also seen this marvelous phenomenon."
"That is the problem. You keep watching all this shit instead of training."
How do you use a remote control to calm down a robot dog?
I don’t usually go grocery shopping, so when my mom asked to buy lettuce, I had to tell myself to romaine calm
What’s angry, calm and white?
What do you call a calm person who moves around a lot?
Bob Dylan didn't seem surprised when a boulder fell off a mountain on top of his house.
He calmly said it was just like a rolling stone.
Why should you stay calm when meeting a hungry cannibal?
Because it's no good getting in a stew.
Did you hear about the italian chef that died?
He pasta way. We cannoli do so much. Theres nutelling what can happen next... His legacy will become a pizza history. Here today, gone tomato. I can only espress-so much grief, but lettuce romaine calm. How sad that he ran out of thyme. Ashes to ashes, crust to crust. There's just not mushroom left for italian chefs in this world... Sending olive my prayers to his family. His wife is really upset, cheese still not over it... You never sausage a tragic thing. Its such a shame good people die fusilli reasons. It was a farfalle from grace... My condolences for Roberto, who died in the spaghetto. May he rest in yeast🙏🏻❤️
Wow! Im so glad so many people laughed at this joke, I got so much happy feedback from everyone lol thank u sm for all the rewards and upvotes, my week couldnt get better!😁
Okay, seriously people, calm down. There's no need to tailgate me when I'm doing 120 mph, over twice the legal speed limit. Just pass me already.
Oh, and by the way, those flashing lights on top of your car look really stupid.
I calmed down our toddlers and wanted praise from my wife.
She said I’m not giving you a consolation prize.
Why are Astronauts always so calm?
There's no pressure in space.
A knight bursts into a blacksmith and yells “you smelt my armour!”
The blacksmith was calm and collected and replied: “Yes, and what a lovely scent it had.”
Why are skeletons always so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin
How did the skeleton remain calm
Because nothing gets under there skin
If you ever get locked out of the house, talk to the lock calmly
A Man rushed into a Doctor's office shouting ' help me Doctor, I'm shrinking' The Doctor calmly said ' Now settle down a bit '..
.. you'll just have to learn to be a little patient.
If you ever lock yourself out of your house, just talk to the lock calmly.
Because communication is key.
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
Why are skeletons so calm
Because nothing gets under their skin
If you ever get locked out your house, talk to your lock calmly
Because communication is key.
If you ever get locked out of your home, sit down and talk to the lock calmly
Because communication is key
Keeping tropical fish at home can have a calming effect on the brain
Due to all the indoor fins.
Why does keeping a fish aquarium calm the brain?
If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to you lock calmly because
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain because...
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
Keeping tropical fish at at home can have a calming effect on the brain.
Due to all the indoor fins.
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