Doctor: Calm down, David. This is a very simple procedure.
Me: I’m not David.
Doctor: I know. I’m David.
What did the electrician say to calm down?
Ohmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Why do weighted blankets calm you down?
Because compression is the opposite of tension!
Mom here but hope you like it. Why do skeletons stay calm?
Nothing gets under their skin
Do you know why Jimmy Neutron is always calm?
Why is water sometimes calm and peaceful, and others it's a terrifying tidal wave?
It can't help itself- its dipolar.
The Egyptian government has asked Cairo’s taxi drivers to drive around and sound their horns in the hope that familiar sounds will help calm the residents following the pandemic.
Operation Toot And Calm ‘Em will last a week.
How do you calm down a grammar Nazi?
Give them a gentle pat on the back and say, "Their, There, They're."
How do you use a remote control to calm down a robot dog?
What’s angry, calm and white?
What do you call a calm person who moves around a lot?
I don’t usually go grocery shopping, so when my mom asked to buy lettuce, I had to tell myself to romaine calm
Why should you stay calm when meeting a hungry cannibal?
Because it's no good getting in a stew.
Why does keeping a fish aquarium calm the brain?
Okay, seriously people, calm down. There's no need to tailgate me when I'm doing 120 mph, over twice the legal speed limit. Just pass me already.
Oh, and by the way, those flashing lights on top of your car look really stupid.
Why are Astronauts always so calm?
There's no pressure in space.
Do you know why Finnish reindeer herders are always calm?
See how calm it is? It doesn't care about what otters think...
So my fiance recently divorced from her stay at home ex whose name is Ali. He was making a fuss about not getting his cash settlements from the divorce. I had to calm her down and tell her to
What do conservatives say to calm each other down?
"Don't worry, man. Everything will be all-right"
My wife told me to calm my tits today
Me: "I gave them their pecing orders"
After the earthquake tonight in California I had to calm my girlfriend down so I threw this one at her...
"What group of Early Americans loved seismic events?"
"The Quakers"
Why are doctors always calm?
They have a lot of patients.
Romaine Calm
Romaine calm. The government did not Caesar vegetables. They will lettuce know what's going on soon. That's salad o' panic over what may be just a coincidence. If it's a false alarm somebody's going to get a dressing down. E. Coli like I see it.*
*So many puns in such bad taste. Too Soon™?
This pun is bull, and makes me raging calm.
My friend with anger issues decided to take up golf to calm his nerves...
He became teed off when he teed off into the trees...
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
Why are skeletons so calm
Because nothing gets under their skin
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
Why are the skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin
Why are skeletons always so calm?
Nothing gets under their skin
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