Thanks for the consolation dad

Me - don't feel so good

Dad - well of its any consolation, you don't look good either

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/curleyfries111
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What game console do the French play the most?

Oui.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eteyetwyeywtyw
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
WARNING FOR EVERYONE WHO WANTS THE KFC GAME CONSOLE

Avoid getting a console on launch day. Multiple units had to be recalled due to the circuit boards being "fried".

πŸ‘︎ 101
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ILikeCodecaine
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to the rock-wall place but my debit card was declined, so I had to pay with the coins in my car’s center console.

It was my climb-it change.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CarterLawler
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
If you're into gaming history, then you must play on the classic consoles,

it's NESessary

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Magnificent-Moe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Just ordered a 12” wide console table to go by our entryway door.

My daughter says it will be very soothing.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WOTrULookingAt
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
🚨︎ report
This console rocks
πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ‘€︎ u/g8ed_manual
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What is Stone Cold Steve Austin’s favourite gaming console?

The Xbox 316

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RSBennett
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
🚨︎ report
It's time to sell Skyrim for the new generation of consoles
πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Perkele1974
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I heard someone played Animal Crossing: New Horizons for so long on end they conked out with the console still in their hands.

Looks like someone fell asleep at the Switch.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlastLeatherwing
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I need a pun about chips for a Christmas gift

So my brother is super hard to buy for because my mom buys him EVERYTHING, literally. This kid has every toy, game console, video game, movie, funko pop, t-shirt, etc to ever exist. My sister and I decided to buy him chips for Christmas. I got jalapeno cheddar cheetos, a few snack bags of spicy chips, and a can of pringles. I'm going to wrap them individually and put them in a stocking. I would like to add a card with a pun or joke about chips to at least make this (admittedly low effort) gift funny.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tazzles26
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
A man's son entered a raffle to win the deed to an entire shopping plaza.

The son's ticket number wasn't the one picked to win. Despondently, the son told the results to his dad. In an effort to console him, his dad replied..."Well, sorry son, but you can't win the mall."

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kellzone
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
🚨︎ report
I just discovered William Shakespeare owned the first video game console.

A Midsummer Night's Dreamcast

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/desireewhitehall
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2020
🚨︎ report
What is the most popular gaming console in the arab world

The Sunni Playstation

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/evilhomers
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What is a cat's favorite game console?

Pspspsps4

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fathertime108
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I gave a ps5 to my gf

I consoled her. She was crying

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/luispe94
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I get depressed if I don’t play video games.

I always need to console myself.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
🚨︎ report
A man decided to attend his friend's funeral. He approached his friend's widow and after a consoling hug said "Plethora".

She responded "Thanks that means a lot".

πŸ‘︎ 138
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jcksn_m
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the baked couch potato do when the game console locked up?

He pressed the russet button, of course.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/centstwo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2020
🚨︎ report
A sales associate spots an Asian man at a Mortal Kombat console.

She asks if the man wants to try it out.

The man replies, "No, I'm just Liu Kang."

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Buddy is telling me all the news around next gen console builds are just rumors..

So it's all specsulation?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChetManly138
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Microsoft tried working with Apple for their next console but it failed to pan out

As a result, they named it the Xbox Siri's Ex.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brizven
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is selling game consoles in France a very lucrative endeavour?

Because no frenchman can say no to a Wii.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mithrandir2k16
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
🚨︎ report
My son was crying because his mom took his Xbox...

... so I had to console him.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joe-manzon
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I didn’t get the Xbox Series X I wanted for my birthday.

I need someone to console me.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joeChump
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you console Thanos when he's upset?

Bruh, Just Snap out if it

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/syheadafsar
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
🚨︎ report
after the dam failed, the engineer thought he'd lost his job for sure

but at the performance review he was consoled by his boss, "it's all just water under the bridge"

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/berninicaco3
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What are paramedics favorite gaming console?

Wii U!!! Wii U!! Wii U!!

πŸ‘︎ 105
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OldManSaxon
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2018
🚨︎ report
I accidentally bought a broken Nintendo console

I had to get a Wiifund

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheGreyLucario
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What Did The Nintendo Consoles Say After The Gym?

"WII FIT!"

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Coz-Man
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What is France’s favorite game console?

The Nintendo Oui

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/firehead212
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s a Communists favourite videogame console?

The Wii

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aspergersiscool
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a Communist's favorite video game console?

The Wii.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lovelifeandtpose
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2018
🚨︎ report
I've invented a gaming console designed to help you summon Satan...

I'll call it the occult rift

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/N64GC
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What dose a console/pc say when you download a game?

It’s a hot day I’m overheating,

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Likeablegamer811
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I haven’t seen this model before
πŸ‘︎ 78
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fineswords
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What do the slow stars get at the end of a race?

A constellation prize

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/michacha123
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm going to start a business selling worms and Nintendo consoles

I'll call it "Bait and Switch."

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thepixelcat2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I calmed down our toddlers and wanted praise from my wife.

She said I’m not giving you a consolation prize.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TennisADHD
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
🚨︎ report
My nephew failed a grammar test. I consoled him

I said "their there they're"

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dabroski710
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear Nintendo has a patent for a swing set based console?

They call it the Nintendo Wheeeeeeeeeee!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clapton_Coil
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife came home from work crying yesterday and asked me to console her...

So I hit her over the head with my X-Box...

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2018
🚨︎ report
I picked up that new console my kids've been begging for on my way home from work today.

I put it down before leaving the store, though. Wouldn't want to get into the habit of shoplifting.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2018
🚨︎ report
My Dad comes into my room looking really worried, I ask him what was wrong and if there was anything I could do to help, He responds by saying "I lost the book which had all the photos and message from my friends"

Knowing a slam book could not be replaced I tried consoling him, but I remembered digitalized it for him a year ago I quickly logged on to the PC to check if I had a backup. He quickly smiled and said it had a Blue cover, after about 10mins of searching I asked him if he remembered what I named the book. He burst out and said Facebook.

Frustrated I left the room to find my entire family sitting in the hall, and my mother goes "He did it to you too, didn't he"

And I'm here perplexed by the lengths a dad would go for his jokes.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ancil5199
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Funny 'Dads Anonymous' story to share for the holiday weekend.

"Welcome everyone to Dads Anonymous. Again my name is Bill and you will notice that we have a new member, please welcome Gary -- Can you tell us what brought you to us today?"

"Well I have a very embarrassing confession. It's even hard to get the words out."

Bill reassures him, "We are all dads here and have been meeting for decades, we've been through all the highs and lows, births and deaths, tragedies, we've heard it all. Just tell us what's on your mind son, we are here to support each other."

"Well, a couple months ago, I broke both my legs in a motorcycle accident and couldn't walk, so I let my wife use the lawnmower." He says through the sobs...

Bob, one of the other dads, starts to get pale. "...and she didn't even cut it in a crisp geometric pattern, it was just random..." Bob starts to sweat and get dry heaves. "YOU BASTARD", he screams. "HOW COULD YOU LET THAT HAPPEN." The dads rise and get ready to beat the crap out of Gary, when Bill stands between them and breaks it up.

"Guys! Guys, we all get weak sometimes and things happen outside our control. Doug, you remember when you were in recovering from Chemo and you gave your wife a hammer, and she used it to hammer a roofing nail into the drywall to hang a picture!" Doug, looks down in shame, "Yes, that was a bad day, I was so weak. She missed the stud and left a dent in the wall, and she just hung the picture over it, crooked!" There was dead silence. "Thats ok Doug, it was twenty years ago, you were young and foolish, you can let it go". Then all the dads shook hands and sat back down.

Bill starts the meeting up again. Then Gary says, "..theres one more thing, Right after I got out of the hospital, she wanted to make a special dinner for us, so I let her grill the steaks..." "OH LORD THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!" screams Dave, another dad, his face turning red. Gary continues "...she burnt them one one side and they were dry and chewy." Now there is a bedlam, one dad immediately passes out cold, chairs are thrown, broken bottles, Gary is on the ground being kicked in the ribs. After a few tense minutes Bill managed to get the dads off of Gary. "Stop it, Dave you're killing him. Come on, you remember that time you let your wife go to the repair shop for an oil change?" Dave hung his head, and muttered yeah. "They convinced her to change the cabin filter, wiper blades and the radiator collant..." Bill kept prodding "and, aaand" ...Dave broke down, "and she bought a jug of blinker fluid!" T

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What console does a Frenchman play on?

A Oui

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AGENT-NEMESIS
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s a communist’s favorite video game console?

Wii.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheLivingMadMan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you do if your xbox is crying?

You console it.

πŸ‘︎ 136
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tyrannosaur85
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2020
🚨︎ report

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