She won't let the other guys score
Did you guys hear about the new Space Jam sequel where Marvin the Martian joins the Monstars, scores all of their points and they win it all?
You should check it out, it’s a really good Martian Scores’easy film
My grandpa used to have a job keeping score at baseball games. Every time someone scored a run, he'd whack up a mark on a chalkboard.
Nowadays you'd call him a scorekeeper, but back then he was a tally whacker.
Do you know what they call the ability to predict sports scores?
(Credit to my husband who just laid this one on our kids and I)
What does the announcer for the Miners Soccer League say when someone scores?
And he scores!! (seen on r/technicallythetruth)
What's the score between the ocean and the beach?
Martin was depressed because he could never get girls. Then Martin became a director. Now Martin scores easy.
I got a perfect score in my honey making exam.
Reddit should have an app so that every upvote you get improves your credit score
It would be called Creddit Karma
I bet my son $10 I could predict the score of the Pats-Rams game tonight before it starts, and he said you’re on.
If you can see the box scores before the game even starts...
You must have ESP-N!
( ಠ ͜ʖಠ)
I like my women like I like my golf scores
In their 80s with a slight handicap
What's the Score?
Me: 4 to 3
Friend: You're up?
Me: No, this is America
What is it called if buccaneers leave a 3.14 score on TripAdvisor?
Polos versus Trebor mints, Polos score! And the whole crowd goes menthol
I can tell you the score of any football game before it starts.
A woman texted her husband, asking him to rate how attractive she is from 1 to 10 with 10 being the highest score...
After reading her husband's short and quick reply, the woman happily called her husband and said, "Aww, you didn't have to send me the heart symbol as a reply to my question. How sweet of you!"
Her husband then said, "What heart symbol? I meant to say that I rate you as less than three!"
Bet I can tell you the score before the game starts,
Watching march madness reminded me of this gem from the old man.
Did you hear about the tennis player who did not score?
They didn’t score, but they still made love.
Who does a donkey see to get its FICO score?
I was playing tennis with my friend, and he got angry when I tried to write the score on his arm.
I swear, you can never count on that guy...
Whenever Sweden and Denmark play on a match, the score says SWE-DEN
and the remaining letters are "DEN" and "MARK"
Who does Oprah go to when she wants to score some drugs?
I keep scores of my favorite iceboxes.
They're my refrigeratings.
At a soccer match with Julius Caesar, Brutus asked, "What's the score, O Caesar?" Caesar replied...
My dad told me he knows the score of the next Superbowl before it even happens
Its 0 to 0, of course thats the score before the game even starts
Hey kids, what's the score?
Hey, What's the score?
me: It's 1 to 3.
me: 5, 6, 7.
Lookin to score some quack?
My credit score is pretty bad...
Yesterday I got turned down for a library card.
Dad zinged me when I told him about my golf score
I came out under par, wondered aloud what my handicap is.
Pops: "Usually it's your sense of humor!"
Managed to score my first dad joke (dad in training)
Yesterday I was able to pull off my first dadjoke!
Someone in my evening class said "I'm tired" and without batting an eye I replied "Hi Tired, I'm Horst!" :)
So yeah, I'm in training - baby is due in december, so I am kind of in bootcamp right now. Any advice from the more experienced dadjokers? Good next step for me?
He always knows the score to the big game
Tonight after the Iron Bowl, he said, "I knew the score before it began!"
I asked him how he could make a claim like that and he said, "It's always 0 to 0 at the beginning."
Have you seen the score between the Ocean and the Beach?