I still have flashbacks
...would the calculator be considered a weapon of math destruction?
Please accept my Gondolances.
I'm okay though.....it was just a super fish oil wound.
...an ether/oar situation...
He was playing with tire.
Thank god! Nothing happened because it was a soft drink.
It nearly killed him.
he was lucky it was a soft drink
...not that they were going to destroy the housing market 20 years later.
Lena could not leave them on the side of the road so they scooped the babies up and put them in the car. As they drove the baby skunks managed to make their way from the floor up Lena's dress and settled on her lap. Lena looked at Ole and said "the skunks are under my dress". Ole said "Zat's OK dear zey are settled down". Lena said "Vhat about the smell?". Ole said, "Oh, don't worry dear they will get used to it!"
Don't worry, I'm not hurt. It was a soft drink.
Husband: I doubt if I can hit two jackpots in one day.
Yeah, apparently it was the first ever serf face to heir missile.
It would be truly alarming.
It put me in a coca-coma
But that's not my aria of expertise.
It was raining Datsun Cogs.
They get a small kick out of it
This is a running joke.
That was the punchline
I’m trying really hard to kick the abbot
Because sex cells.
I said, "No, I've never seen a tree moving that fast before."
He was playing on the road again
If you do, there will be repercussions!
He was a fun-guy.
That way you start 2021 on the right foot.
She replied “the ball is round daddy” (with a straight face) So I tell her “no, what I mean is, get mad! I want you to hit the ball really hard like if you were mad at it!”
She grabs the ball, stares right at it and says “I’M REALLY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU, BALL!” Then throws it right back at me.
Proud dad moment.
It was a stroke of genius
When an eel bites your hand, And that's not what you planned, That's a moray.
When our habits are strange, And our customs deranged, That's our mores.
When your horse munches straw, And the bales total four, That's some more hay.
When Othello's poor wife Becomes stabbed with a knife, That's a Moor, eh?
When a Japanese knight Uses his sword in a fight, That's Samurai.
When your sheep go to graze In a damp marshy place, That's a moor, eh?
When your boat comes home fine And you tie up her line, That's a moor, eh?
When you ace your last tests Like you did all the rest, That's some more "A"s!
In New Zealand you see An aborigine, That's a Maori.
Alley Oop's homeland has A space gun with pizzazz, That's a Moo Ray.
A comedian ham, With the name Amsterdam, That's a Morey.
When your chocolate graham, Is so full and so crammed, That s'more, eh.
When you've had quite enough, Of this dumb rhyming stuff, That's "No more!", eh?
He's a seasoned veteran
Luckily, it was a soft drink.
Please accept my gondolances.