Did you hear? An attempted murder was foiled due to the assailant's severe grain allergy.
The killer was found, dead to rice.
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︎ Jun 03 2021
What's the best way to prevent a murder?
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︎ May 15 2021
Within minutes, the detectives figured out what the murder weapon was.
π︎ 5k
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︎ Jan 27 2021
A crow ... painting a murder.
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︎ May 04 2021
A group of geese is a gaggle, agroup of rats: a mischief, a murder of crows, bats a colony and men a crowd. What's a group of batmen?
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︎ Apr 11 2021
Jokes about murders aren't funny
Unless they're properly executed, that it.
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︎ Mar 10 2021
There was a murder on a train do you know if the suspect was caught?
No, he covered his tracks.
(Thought of this this morning go easy on me!)
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︎ Mar 25 2021
I saw a murder outside my house today...
All the crows were just sitting in my tree...
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︎ Mar 11 2021
How are mafia murders like candles?
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︎ Mar 30 2021
Police are investigating a murder in which the victim was shot with a starters pistol.
The police think it's race-related.
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︎ Jan 26 2021
Did you hear about the potsticker that went on a murder rampage?
It was an act of wonton violence.
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︎ Mar 22 2021
Somewhere, between murder, and suicide........
There is a place called Merseyside - Milton Jones at the Apollo live
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︎ Feb 22 2021
Sherlock and Watson arrived on the scene of a murder and the only clue was a measuring tape pulled out to exactly 12 inches.
Apparently something was afoot.
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︎ Feb 23 2021
TIL that Mona Lisa was once accused of murder
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︎ Feb 26 2021
A pencil isn't John Wick's primary murder weapon.
But it's definitely number 2.
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︎ Feb 09 2021
A murder investigation or a murder investigating?
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︎ Jul 22 2020
What do you call a murder in Greece?
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︎ Feb 14 2021
Abortion isnβt murder
Its just cancelling your pre-order.
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︎ Feb 22 2021
For the charge of murder, the judge only gave Ray Liotta and Joe Pesci community service
because they were goodfellas
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︎ Mar 07 2021
Why would you never murder on an elevator?
Because it's wrong on so many levels
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︎ Feb 16 2021
The convict was charged with first degree murder
Iβm not sure why, but there must be a reason behind it.
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︎ Feb 19 2021
If a group of dolphins is called a pod and a group of crows is called a murder, what is a group of small children called?
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︎ Mar 26 2020
When I found my little son on the floor, I briefly thought a murder took place
Fortunately, it was just a kid napping.
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︎ Jan 15 2021
Whatβs the most effective way to write a murder mystery?
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︎ Jan 31 2021
If you commit a 1st degree murder in Canada
is it a 34 degree murder in the US?
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︎ Aug 20 2020
I heard someone was planning a murder
I was worried until I found out he was a Crow
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︎ Jan 03 2021
Why did i murder the woman who served me a glass of wine?
Because i wanted tequila.
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︎ Sep 06 2020
Attempted Murder
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︎ Jul 08 2020
Murders being conducted all over this block
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︎ Sep 28 2020
I asked a friend for one reason I shouldn't murder my boss.
His answer was simple. There is no Netflix in prison.
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︎ Nov 19 2020
Who decided to call them βmurder hornetsβ
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︎ May 06 2020
I witnessed a murder today
But as I got closer it flew away
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︎ Sep 25 2020
If a group of crows is called a murder of crows...
does that mean 2 or 3 would be an attempted murder?
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︎ Jul 25 2020
What do you call appetizers at a murder mystery party?
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︎ Nov 02 2020
How did the pasta get away with murder?
The prosecution had gnocci witnesses
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︎ Sep 05 2020
What did Margaret Attwood title her latest murder mystery novel, about an Egyptian serial killer who kept drowning people?
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︎ Oct 29 2020
What did the train conductor use to murder his ex-wife?
Investigators aren't sure yet, but they discovered he had a loco motive.
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︎ Oct 01 2020
I thought I witnessed a murder today
I only counted 2 crows though, so I guess it was really an attempted murder
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︎ Sep 08 2020
A fish goes to court for murder
The fish is found βgillβty
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︎ Jul 30 2020
I put original copies of "The Fall of the House of Usher", "The Murders in the Rue Morgue", "The Pit and the Pendulum" and "The Tell-Tale Heart" on credit hoping to pay them off slowly. Unfortunately, I couldn't make all payments...
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︎ Oct 01 2020
We then asked a artist about the murder:
βI art to be feeling badβ they said
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︎ Sep 29 2020
What do you call a pub thatβs famous for its murders?
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︎ Jul 05 2020
A serial killer murders people by suffocating them with pig intestines
His media name is Wurst Case Scenario
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︎ Sep 15 2020
Within minutes, the detectives figured out what the murder weapon was.
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︎ Jan 28 2021
Mona Lisa was once accused of murder....
Turns out, she was framed.
π︎ 75
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︎ Oct 17 2020
Within minutes, the detectives knew what the murder weapon was.
π︎ 195
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︎ Jul 28 2020
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