How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?
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︎ Oct 15 2020
My left knee has never committed a crime.
I canβt say the same for his felony.
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︎ Aug 16 2020
What do you call a bird that has committed a crime?
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︎ Dec 04 2020
A man asks a police officer if itβs a crime to throw sodium chloride in someoneβs eyes
Officer: βYes, thatβs assault!β
Man: βI know itβs a salt, but is it a crime?β
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︎ Nov 14 2020
What do you call a mediocre member of organized crime?
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︎ Nov 25 2020
Itβs actually a crime to throw sodium chloride at someone.
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︎ Nov 25 2020
Is it a crime to throw NaCl on someone's eyes?
It's assault
I know it's a salt but is it a crime?
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︎ Oct 16 2020
Whats the name of a crime series filmed on a sunny japanese island?
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︎ Nov 22 2020
The police officer made me pay up for my crime.
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︎ Nov 25 2020
When is it a crime to just lie there?
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︎ Nov 16 2020
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of the crime?
I think they just ransomware.
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︎ Nov 08 2020
Apparently there was a crime that happened on the airplane that led to the plane crashing into the ocean.
The police are trying to investigate to figure out how it all went down.
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︎ Nov 13 2020
The police show up on a crime scene
They walk in and see a man standing over a body with a broken neck. So they take the man into questioning and ask him why he did it, the man said
βIt was a snap decisionβ
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︎ Oct 15 2020
Lawyer - Is it crime to throw salt in someone's eyes?
Judge - Yes, that's assault!
Lawyer - I know it's a salt but is it a crime?
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︎ Sep 25 2020
Me: Is it a crime to throw sodium chloride in your enemy's eyes?
Person: Yes, that's assault.
Me: Yes I know it's a salt, but is it a crime?
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︎ Sep 09 2020
prostitution is a thot crime.
inviting several prostitutes to the same party is gathering your thots.
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︎ Oct 22 2020
What do you call a guinea pig that partakes in organized crime?
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︎ Aug 30 2020
In the history of crime literature, which character has been the most effective at getting people out of prison?
The dot "."
It has ended more sentences than anything else.
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︎ Sep 28 2020
Crime on multi storey car parks.
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︎ Sep 26 2020
Schrodingerβs Cat has committed unforgivable crimes.
He is wanted dead and alive.
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︎ Sep 07 2020
An avocado thief was caught committing a crime...
I heard they tried to get away ,but they didnβt av a car doe...
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︎ Sep 22 2020
Just found this store by chance called Ollieβs. Aside from all the great liquidation sales, the walls are a pun gold mine! I felt it be a crime not to post pictures of it on here.
reddit.com/gallery/iij3ts
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︎ Aug 29 2020
What kind of house do ninja turtles live in when they go on vacation from living in the sewers and fighting crime?
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︎ Sep 29 2020
What does Venom use to commit crimes online?
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︎ Sep 27 2020
What do you call a crime fighting dog that can swim underwater?
π︎ 3
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︎ Sep 09 2020
Why is a minnow always the first suspect for a crime?
Because he's always a little fishy
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︎ Jun 05 2020
What do you call an alligator trying to solve a crime?
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︎ Aug 17 2020
Cup Crimes
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︎ Apr 16 2020
I was robbed outside and went in to report the crime. When I walked in, someone asked me what it was like outside.
I said, βitβs a bit muggy.β
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︎ Jul 26 2020
If you see a crime at an apple store....
Does that make you an iWitness
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︎ Jul 16 2020
What do guns, vaginas, hospitals, and war crimes have in common?
π︎ 4
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︎ Jul 09 2020
How do Tree crime investigators start their investigation
They go to the ROOT of the problem
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︎ Apr 22 2020
I had a dream where I was a wharf accused by the state of committing a crime...
I had a right to trial with a jury of my piers.
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︎ Jun 24 2020
Judge: I hereby find you guilty for all crimes you have been charged with. For sentencing I order you to spend life behind bars without possibility of parole
Criminal: That's a long sentence, I demand a shorter one.
Judge: U did it. Go 2 jail forever.
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︎ Dec 12 2019
What do you call a large reptile that solves crimes?
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︎ Jun 25 2020
What do you call a crime committed by a cat?
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︎ Apr 28 2020
At crime scenes where they sketch out a body with chalk?
Is that technically a die-agram?
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︎ Apr 23 2020
Iβve witnessed a lot of crimes in my life...
.. but stealing someoneβs soap really takes the cake.
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︎ Feb 28 2020
Why did the train conductor commit a crazy crime?
Because he had a Loco-motive
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︎ May 06 2020
Me: Is it a crime to throw sodium chloride in someoneβs eyes?
Judge: yes itβs assault
Me: I know itβs a salt but is it a crime though?
Originally posted by u/CurryMuncher13 on r/Jokes
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︎ Apr 25 2020
Why can't Batman, even with all his crime fighting, reduce Gotham's crime?
Because his partner is always Robin.
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︎ Mar 20 2020
Iβm worried my young daughter might have a future in crime. Today, she found a tree branch on the ground...
She immediately raised it above her head and said, βThis is a stick up!β
(Credit to my 2.5 year old- inspired by true events)
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︎ Mar 18 2020
What type of animal do you need to solve crimes?
π︎ 10
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︎ Feb 09 2020
I have commited several war crimes in uzbeckistan and am giving myself in for gassing hundreids of civillian houses
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︎ Dec 24 2019
What crime did they charge the insomniac with?
π︎ 4
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︎ Apr 01 2020
What crime did the forest commit?
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︎ Sep 23 2019
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