What do you call a crime, committed by a fruit?

A strobberry.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Calivera1308
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 27 2021
🚨︎ report
In the old days, excessive use of commas was considered to be a serious crime.

It usually resulted in a long sentence.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 776
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 16 2021
🚨︎ report
Even crime has time for puns (credit to the author, extrafabulouscomics)
πŸ‘οΈŽ 7k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SirChemi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of crime?

They just ransomware.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Lance Armstrong admitted another crime

Peddling

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/relayrider
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 16 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the statistician hesitate to apply the square root transformation to the data on annual hate crimes?

She didn't want bigotry to be normalized.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DrBobShelton_74
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 28 2021
🚨︎ report
If good looks were a crime.....

I'd still be a law abiding citizen.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/elster000
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 09 2021
🚨︎ report
My left knee has never committed a crime.

I can’t say the same for his felony.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/nate_hawwk
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a crime committed using a Su-57?

A Felon-y

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/djiuh
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 24 2021
🚨︎ report
Unidentified male charged with two completely different crimes in the produce aisle.

He took a leek

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ToastyZ71
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 02 2021
🚨︎ report
What do we call a crime scene of a crime done by spiders?

It's their WEB site!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cbsxact7
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 26 2021
🚨︎ report
Crime in multi storey car parks.

Wrong on so many levels.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/beej2000
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 28 2021
🚨︎ report
There was a alligator back home known for his crime-solving skills

He was an investi-gator.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 23 2021
🚨︎ report
Why are crimes in the 'Deep South' so hard to solve?

There's no dental records & all the DNA matches...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 80
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Altar-83
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Son: β€œWhat crime would I be charged with if I broke into the Capitol and planted a forest?”

Dad: β€œWell I’m no legal expert, but I suspect there’d be some trees in there.”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JiminyKirket
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
If you see a crime at the Apple Store...

Does that make you a an iWitness

πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/K1llerpanda1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What crime fighting duo hangs out at the noodle shop?

Batman and Ramen

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ichimanben
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
What happens after an alligator commits a crime?

You call an investigator

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/kickypie
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 15 2021
🚨︎ report
A mime is the perfect partner in crime

They'll never say a word

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Lilbob628
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 22 2021
🚨︎ report
As the detective examined the crime scene at the carnival he came upon the man working the β€œGuess your weight” booth. The detective had the man arrested as an accomplice to the criminal.

He was charged with helping the criminal get a weigh.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Pasngas42
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Its a good thing sexual innuendos isn't a crime...

I'd definitely be going down.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What happened when the leader of Russia committed a crime?

He got Putin jail

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/apeskoot
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 01 2021
🚨︎ report
"Lying on Reddit is a very bad crime"

, said my 2 months old son.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SnooRobots3440
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bird that has committed a crime?

An illegul.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mRmyster76
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
A man asks a police officer if it’s a crime to throw sodium chloride in someone’s eyes

Officer: β€œYes, that’s assault!”

Man: β€œI know it’s a salt, but is it a crime?”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 23
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/trace826621
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What crime did a test commit?

It didn't commit a crime, the teacher just told me to turn it in.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Chonqme
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Whats the worst crime to occur at a fish market?

Getting battered

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TL4Life
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
We all have heard about Joker. The Clown Prince of Crime.

But have you heard about his father who was Joking.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/abvazir
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a mediocre member of organized crime?

A mafiososo.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tfowler11
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Whats the name of a crime series filmed on a sunny japanese island?

Kawaii five-o

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mrcarrot9
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a guinea pig that partakes in organized crime?

A hamster

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Ngeelow
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
The police show up on a crime scene

They walk in and see a man standing over a body with a broken neck. So they take the man into questioning and ask him why he did it, the man said β€œIt was a snap decision”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Bear6677
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Lawyer - Is it crime to throw salt in someone's eyes?

Judge - Yes, that's assault!

Lawyer - I know it's a salt but is it a crime?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 31
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/viky_boy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
The police officer made me pay up for my crime.

Meh, that's fine

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/timfreemints
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
When is it a crime to just lie there?

In court, under oath.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lfantine
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Schrodinger’s Cat has committed unforgivable crimes.

He is wanted dead and alive.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MajicMan101
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
In the history of crime literature, which character has been the most effective at getting people out of prison?

The dot "."

It has ended more sentences than anything else.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Ultimadark
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Apparently there was a crime that happened on the airplane that led to the plane crashing into the ocean.

The police are trying to investigate to figure out how it all went down.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ikennaezeee
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Just found this store by chance called Ollie’s. Aside from all the great liquidation sales, the walls are a pun gold mine! I felt it be a crime not to post pictures of it on here. reddit.com/gallery/iij3ts
πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KORZILLA-is-me
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is a minnow always the first suspect for a crime?

Because he's always a little fishy

πŸ‘οΈŽ 100
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Cha0sCaus3
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Is it a crime to throw NaCl on someone's eyes?

It's assault

I know it's a salt but is it a crime?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MAGICJJAFFFF
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
It’s actually a crime to throw sodium chloride at someone.

It’s assault.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/watanabelover69
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Me: Is it a crime to throw sodium chloride in your enemy's eyes?

Person: Yes, that's assault.

Me: Yes I know it's a salt, but is it a crime?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 72
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/abhish3kjain
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the computer hackers get away from the scene of the crime?

I think they just ransomware.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/the_houser
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Crime on multi storey car parks.

Wrong on so many levels.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/GeneralHornbill
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 26 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.