I was watching a robbery at the Apple Store today

I became an iWitness.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlamingNinja925
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
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Where did the car thieves go to celebrate after a successful robbery?

Carrabba’s.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/idontgiveAdam333
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
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I worked security at a chemical plant. There had been a string of robberies at nearby chemical plants, and one night... lo and behold- we heard the alarm...

My coworker and I tried to apprehend them but they were just too phosphorus…

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MyLatestInvention
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
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What do you call a scandinavian bank robbery?

An H-ice-t

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πŸ‘€︎ u/taken-_-already
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
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There was a robbery at the local Apple store today.

Its ok though, they caught the guy, there was an iWitness.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Imholt11
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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I started carrying a gun with me after an attempted robbery a few years ago.

Now my robberies have gotten a lot more successful.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/asguardia
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
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Armed robbery
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πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
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Today I stopped a robbery at a music store.

I knew all that time I spent playing Guitar Hero would pay off some day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DestroyatronMk8
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
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What do u call a flawless bank robbery with no fingerprints left behind?

Stainless steal

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2020
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Did you hear about the train robbery down in Mexico?

They said the robber had a loco-motive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chickenburrito_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
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The sweetest robbery I’ve ever seen
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PachaFerrera
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2019
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I was tried for armed robbery, but the case was overturned on a technicality.

My father always said I lack conviction.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
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Did you hear about the string of bank robberies committed by a guy dressed up like Jesus?

The cops finally nailed him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
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This is a robbery!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zecomania
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
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Why did police believe a duck had committed the robbery?

Because he fit the bill of the one they were looking for.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2020
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I didn't think the police would convict me for robbery until I saw the briefcase full of the money

In that case, they had evidence.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zsm1994
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2019
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I just saw on the TV that there’s been a spate of robberies in the area.

It’s break-in news.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/alliedcola
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
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Violinist Caught After a String of Robberies
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rodentman87
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
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Did you hear about the robbery at the music store?!

The thief made off with the lute.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ew0k5AN0nomi5
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
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How did the police know that Will Smith committed the robbery?

Because they found some Fresh Prints.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mohawk_Mike
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2019
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A Robbery Smoother than Butter

A pancake and a waffle walk into a bar. The pancake starts robbing the bar tender while the waffle watches outside. When the waffle hears the cops only a block away, he turns to the pancake and says:

"Get the money quick! We gotta break, fast!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MeZaen
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
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How are prostate exams and bank robberies alike?

They're both stick-ups.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nightreach1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
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I built a support to prop up my planner that helps keep track of the news reports about the robbery of 3-foot measuring devices from a boat repair place in West Michigan...

It's my Georgetown Township Shipyard Yardstick Stickup Update Datebook Bookend.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MenacingBanjo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2018
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6 hours after a major bank robbery took place, the bank have finally released their statement.

Withdrawn: Β£9,000,000

Balance:Β£0.00

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πŸ‘€︎ u/adc2502
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
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How do detectives protect their homes from robberies at night

Sherlock the doors

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EarthPhl
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2019
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If you see a robbery at an Apple store...

does that make you an iWitness?!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ES_FTrader
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
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I saw a robbery at an apple store today.

The police interviewed me because I was an iWitness.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrBirb_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
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If you see a robbery at an Apple store

Does that make you an iWitness?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tyjharmon
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
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I saw a robbery take place at the Apple Store today.

The police wanted to interview me because I was an iWitness.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/anxieturt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
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If you see a robbery at the apple store

Does that make you an iwitness?

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bluetoken12
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
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If you see a robbery at an apple store

Does that make you an i-witness?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Starcream28266
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
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You saw a robbery go down at an Apple store. Does that make you an...

iWitness?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NYC_Dweller
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
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What do you call Superman in a bank robbery?

Man of Steal

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πŸ‘€︎ u/anay666
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
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If you see a robbery at an Apple Store does that make you an iWitness?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2019
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If you see a robbery at an Apple Store does that make you an iWitness?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bjc1199
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2019
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If you witness a robbery at an Apple Store...

...does that make you an iWitness?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gigadude17
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
🚨︎ report
If I witnessed a robbery in the Apple store, would that make me an iWitness?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jamstagram
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2018
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If you see a robbery at an Apple Store does that make you an iWitness?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gore_mill
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2019
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I saw a robbery at an Apple store.

The police tell me that I'm their iWitness.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zythr009
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
🚨︎ report
If you see a robbery at an apple store....

Does that make you an iWitness?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GhostPants78
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
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if you witness a robbery at an apple store, what are you?

An Iwitness

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MweeisMe
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2018
🚨︎ report
If you see a robbery at the Apple Store...

Does that make you an iWitness?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuspectedAphid
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2019
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I just saw a robbery at the Apple store.

I guess that makes me an iWitness!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
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I saw a robbery at the Apple Store the other day.

I guess that makes me an iWitness.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CharlieMike111
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2018
🚨︎ report
If you see a robbery at an Apple Store does that make you an iWitness?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gingafer81
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2018
🚨︎ report
If you see a robbery at an Apple Store does that make you an iWitness?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/steve_es
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2018
🚨︎ report
If you see a robbery at an apple store...

Does it make you an iWitness?

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AwesomeW2017
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
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