A burglar broke into my house and I pushed my bookcase on top of him.
A burglar stole all my lamps
I should be upset, but I’m delighted
Man, that burglar was so sensitive.
He takes things personally.
Two burglars are robbing a liquor store. One turns to the other and asks "Is this whiskey" ?
The other replies, "Yeah, but not as wisky as wobbing a bank"
Santa is like a cat-burglar
...he even has the claws.
What kind of phone does a burglar use?
What do you call a radish burglar?
What did the burglar say after detonating a bomb inside Fort Knox?
Edit: Wow! This blew up! Thanks for the gold!
The goal of every burglar is a stainless steal.
A burglar stole my reactor yesterday.
My wife is gonna go nuclear
What do burglars take when they’re sick?
Bet the burglar also stole some vodka
Just seen a burglar kicking his own door in. I asked 'What are you doing ?'
He said, "Working from home"
Why do burglars only wear striped shirts?
Because they don’t want to be spotted!
Why did the burglar break into his own house?
He had to work from home.
I saw a burglar trying to kick in his own door, so I asked “What the hell are you doing?”
He said, “Like everyone else, I’m working from home.”
There was this kinky burglar who would sneak into people's bedrooms to give them a pedicure as they slept. .
Why are burglars so sensitive?
Because they take things personally.
All you need to take down the ham-burglar
Why did the burglar hang his mugshot on the wall?
To prove that he was framed!
How does a burglar get into your house?
I used to know a cat burglar named Carl.
Carl had this calling card of his. When he was nearly done burgling a house, he would put a brick inside the victim's washing machine, and switch it on. The washing machine would destroy itself, and the owners would know that the perpetrator could only be Carl.
Carl's number eventually came up, when he burgled a house with three savage guard dogs. They put an end to his burglary career.
I guess you could say, washing machines live longer with Carl gone.
What do you call a burglar's loot sack?
An accessory to the crime.
Cal the burglar
So a guy named cal has been breaking into homes and putting bricks in washing machines, turning them on so they would get wrecked. he took some drugs and was found dead one morning, looks like washing machines will live longer with cal-gone
A burglar breaks into a house and steals all the kitchen appliances...
Upon being caught, he returned all of the items except for the mixing tool. When the police asked him to return it he said, "sorry, this is a whisk I must take".
Why did the burglar shower at his victim’s home
He wanted a clean getaway
The police caught the library burglar
I hear they threw the book at him.
Why did the burglars steal soap?
They wanted a clean getaway.
What’d the k9 officer say to the burglar?
Have you heard the one about when the burglar snuck on the roof?
Me neither, he snuck very quietly
What is a burglar's favorite kind of footwear?
I can’t believe some burglars broke into our local convenience store and stole 300 cans of Red Bull.
I don’t know how they can sleep at night.
Why are leopards such bad burglars?
Because they're always spotted!
Burglars have found a way to breach the White House without getting caught.
It was a breakthrough for them.
A burglar stole all of my lamps! I should be upset...
A burglar stole all my lamps
I should be upset but I am delighted
A burglar stole all of my lamps.
I should be upset, but actually I’m delighted!
I just saw a burglar kick his own door in...
Me: "What are you doing?"
Burglar: "Working from home."
What did the burglar say after detonating a bomb inside Fort Knox?
Edit: Wow! This blew up! Thanks for the gold!
What did the burglar say after detonating a bomb inside of Fort Knox?
Edit: Wow, this blew up! Thanks for the gold!
Edit: Wow, this blew up! Thanks for the gold!
A burglar stole all of my lamps
I should be upset, but I’m delighted
A burglar stole all my lamps.
I should be upset, but I’m delighted.
A burglar stole all my lamps. I should be upset..
Why did the burglar hang his mugshot on the wall?
To prove that he was framed!
Why did the burglar hang his mugshot on the wall?
To prove that he was framed!
Why did the burglar hang his mugshot on the wall?
To prove that he was framed!
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