Did you hear about the thief on the run for stealing laundry detergent?
β¦heβs wanted for his ill-begotten Gain
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 28 2021
Why was the balloon thief acquitted?
...because the evidence was inflated.
π︎ 4
π
︎ May 21 2021
Did you hear about the thief who was re-arrested in the courtroom?
π︎ 9
π
︎ May 17 2021
Even though the art thief and the photographer were friends,
Neither had ever taken the otherβs picture.
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 13 2021
The police caught the teflon thief red-handed
And yet, the prosecution couldn't make the charges stick
π︎ 11
π
︎ May 02 2021
I had to stop a candy thief today.
He was getting back to his old Twix.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 22 2021
A poet & a thief walk into a bar...
... Bar tender says "Hi Dave".
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 17 2021
Iβm not calling your mother a thief but...
π︎ 6
π
︎ Apr 23 2021
What do you call a reckless thief who only steals cooking utensils?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Mar 29 2021
Last night a thief entered my house looking for money
-What did you do?
-I started looking with him, I needed money
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 20 2021
A thief took my Microsoft Office license key
I'll come and get you thief! You have my Word
π︎ 15
π
︎ Mar 20 2021
To the thief who stole my antidepressants
I hope you're happy, and having a great cakeday too
π︎ 5
π
︎ Feb 28 2021
A man had his car stolen by a thief in Mexico. When he went to the police...
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 08 2021
Why did the pelt thief cross the road?
To get to the otherβs hide.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Mar 13 2021
Jewel thief with worlds worst stutter was jailed for 10 years yesterday...
A police spokesperson says it may take him up to 11 years to finish his sentence.
π︎ 50
π
︎ Feb 24 2021
Why did the art thiefβs van run out of gas as he drove away from the museum?
Because he had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh
π︎ 99
π
︎ Jan 01 2021
A wheat farmer caught a thief on his property who gave him quite the headache.
βActually, theyβre my grainsβ he said.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 17 2021
What is a thiefβs house made out of?
Steal.
Courtesy of my daughter.
π︎ 34
π
︎ Feb 25 2021
What did the corn chips say to the thief?
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jan 04 2021
A thief in a small town stole all the toilets...
Police issued a statement saying they had 'nothing to go on'
π︎ 26
π
︎ Dec 12 2020
A cop was chasing the thief
He said, STOP ! You need Arrest.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Feb 16 2021
The thief who stole my iPhone
π︎ 63
π
︎ Nov 21 2020
How hard is it to track down a bread thief?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 14 2020
Last night a thief broke into the shoe factory.
He was the sole perpetrator.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Dec 18 2020
A youth soccer team that won gold at a tournament also stopped a thief that same day.
And he would have gotten away with it if it weren't for those medalling kids.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Dec 17 2020
A thief broke into a guy's house, stole his stuff, killed the man, and turned him into a large cupβ¦
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 25 2020
The police easily caught the thief who stole a board game.
It was a trivial pursuit.
π︎ 50
π
︎ Aug 17 2020
What do you call a german thief that's robbing a fast food restaurant?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 11 2020
What did the thief say when he was robbing a fruit stand?
Hands up! This is a rob-berry!
π︎ 8
π
︎ Oct 25 2020
An avocado thief was caught committing a crime...
I heard they tried to get away ,but they didnβt av a car doe...
π︎ 26
π
︎ Sep 22 2020
I canβt stand the local livestock thief...
...he really gets my goat.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 08 2020
Whatβs the difference between Keanu and a bakery thief?
Keanu is breathtaking, the other one is breadtaking.
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Jun 14 2019
What did the police do when they caught the thief stealing the desserts from the bakery?
They took him into custardy
π︎ 41
π
︎ May 06 2020
How did the thief get home from the Chinese restaurant?
π︎ 13
π
︎ Aug 18 2020
Why would Olaf from Frozen be a good thief?
Because he's got sticky fingers!
π︎ 14
π
︎ Aug 02 2020
How did the tampon thief get what he wanted
He had to pull some strings
π︎ 24
π
︎ May 10 2020
What did the wig shop owner shout at the thief as they ran out of the store with one of the hair pieces?
Hey!! GET BACK HERE!!! You need toupeΓ© for that!!
π︎ 18
π
︎ May 23 2020
Hi, Iβm an identity thief
My pronouns are you/yours
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jul 23 2020
I donβt understand why the thief who stole my currency collection took all the bills but left all the coins.
It was a cents-less crime.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jul 17 2020
A thief has stolen all the hand sanitizer from the supermarket
he seems to have made a clean getaway
π︎ 15
π
︎ Apr 21 2020
A mysterious thief has stolen all the toilets from the local sheriff's office.
The police have nothing to go on.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Apr 17 2020
How'd they work out the thief was a T-Rex?
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 12 2020
The tampon thief got out of prison
π︎ 18
π
︎ May 08 2020
Whatβs a thiefβs favorite food?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jun 10 2020
The thief who stole my iPhone ....
π︎ 53
π
︎ Nov 25 2020
A thief broke into my house last night looking for money
π︎ 9
π
︎ Apr 24 2020
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
