Police are now looking for a man with a price on his head.
It was too whiskey
He got migraines
When he arrives he sees the security guard at his desk, sobbing
“I c-can’t believe the boss forgot my b-b-birthday”
Seeing this opportunity, the thief sneaks round to the back steals the security codes and goes to access the vault.
Unfortunately for the thief, the head of the bank was busy giving a tour to some possible investors and is at the vault.
Upon seeing the thief (who is stupidly dressed in horizontal black and white stripes) he exclaims, “HOW DID YOU GET PAST MY SECURITY!!?!”
To which the thief replies, “You let your guard down”
they bandit
You've got to hand it to them.
He got 12 months!
He always gets a weigh.
Everyone be on the lookout for 2 hardened criminals.
Because of the copper in the wires.
A babbling crook
Because of all the skulduggery
Dirty bastards.
Then the cops came over and did a full report.
They said they got away clean.
Pointing his firearm at two cashiers, he shouts “hand over the contents of the cash register! I need it to set myself up in a trade or profession...you know, a habitual occupation followed for a livelihood and involving commercial transactions!”
Cashier 1: “What do we do?”
Cashier 2: “Do what he says, I think he means business!”
I searched with him
They may take a fence.
In&Out
Give me all your dough.
Apparently it’s a dying art.
I can’t see myself without it!
A psycho was recently arrested for train robbery. He spoke both English and Spanish, although all we've heard is that he had some sort of loco motive.
He died recently surrounded by his family.
Con joined twins
Teller:
Bank Robber: I SAID WHERE'S THE SAFE?
Teller:
Bank Robber: ANSWER ME!
Penn: He always does this
They were pirates of the car I be in.
He was brought into custardy.
There’s a crook and nanny in the nook and cranny
When it’s muggy...
You know the drill. AK47s, skimasks, the works. Anyway, they tell everybody to lie down on the floor. All the people in the bank hits the floor but this old man. He is still standing. So, the robbers tells him, not very politely i might add, to lie down on the floor.
Old man: "Nope. Not gonna happen. I'm CIA"
Robbers: "We don't give a shit, get on the floor NOW!"
Old man: "Nope. I'm CIA."
Old mans wife: "Walt, for Gods sake. You're not CIA, you're senile!"
Dad: Sure, it’s empty anyway!
Because he had a loco-motive.
Where it's safe
He had Loco-motives
They don't stick up for anyone enough to be any good at it
Police are now looking for a man and say there's a price on his head
Now police are looking for a man with a price on his head.
Police are now looking for a man with a price on his head.
He had loco motives
