The detective shuddered when he realised the weapons from each crime scene were the same weight

They weren't just chasing a serial killer, they were chasing a mass murderer

πŸ‘︎ 572
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gramineous
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
🚨︎ report
What is a bees favourite weapon?

A buzzooka

πŸ‘︎ 60
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/THPSROCKS
πŸ“…︎ May 21
🚨︎ report
I am suspicious that my wife is secretly adding glue to my weapons collection...

She denies it, but I'm sticking to my guns.

πŸ‘︎ 60
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ May 19
🚨︎ report
Within minutes, the detectives figured out what the murder weapon was.

It was a brief case.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27
🚨︎ report
One of my friends was really in to fencing until his weapon broke

Apparently now it’s dull and pointless

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PurpleSunCraze
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20
🚨︎ report
why do poets never keep there weapons still?

They want to be like shake spear

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JoesMemories
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22
🚨︎ report
What do you call a weapon that doesn't kill animals?

A vegun

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/incredibleinkpen
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21
🚨︎ report
If you haven’t shot a weapon with your eyes closed

You don’t know what you’re missing.

πŸ‘︎ 83
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27
🚨︎ report
What kind of weapons do fleas use?

Small arms 😁

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 05
🚨︎ report
Which weapon does the Grim Reaper use in the winter?

An ice sickle.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Derpvboii
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26
🚨︎ report
What kind of weapon does a rabbi use?

A cirumscythe

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Spycrabpuppet123
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31
🚨︎ report
Once upon a time a broken sword told me it was the best weapon in the world...

And he had a point.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Asagao90
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16
🚨︎ report
Lethal Weapon 3(-some)

Film Producer: β€œThis is supposed to be a β€œBuddy Cop” movie, why do they have this steamy sex scene together?”

Director: β€œBecause everyone enjoys cop-porn at the movies!”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/youtellmebob
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15
🚨︎ report
What kind of weapon does a paramedic use?

An ambu-lance.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Derpvboii
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26
🚨︎ report
I always buy my weapons from a guy called T-Rex.

He's a small arms dealer

πŸ‘︎ 142
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Telusion
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
🚨︎ report
A pencil isn't John Wick's primary murder weapon.

But it's definitely number 2.

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeFas
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09
🚨︎ report
What do you call a serrated weapon that Polish people once used in battle?

A Warsaw.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MGreenMN
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01
🚨︎ report
My 5 year old came up with this one. What is a skeleton's favorite weapon?

A bone and arrow (Kid loves to play minecraft sooo... yeah)

πŸ‘︎ 87
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/emilytaege
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I clean all my weapons with tree sap.

Some say I’m crazy, but I’m sticking to my guns.

πŸ‘︎ 319
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What type of weapon does a vegetable knight use?

A-spear-iguess

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Distractednoodle
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What weapon do angels use?

A HARPoon

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/invisible_being
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02
🚨︎ report
A salt with a deadly weapon!
πŸ‘︎ 60
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/raffar
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
What is a rain's favorite weapon?

Rain-bow

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TakasuoHD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
🚨︎ report
A great knight became all discombobulated and lost his weapons...

He was all out of swords.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/leeericewing
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What type of weapons would a T-rex sell?

Small arms.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sharar_rs
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
What weapon is the most relaxed?

Just β€œchill axe”, my dude.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Grassblox311
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear ISIS is adapting Covid-19 into a bio-weapon?!

They're calling it the Quranavirus

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CLUTCH3R
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
🚨︎ report
In addition to Taiwan, the US has also sold torpedoes to Vietnam. Rather than pay money, they traded with a huge bulk of food. The weapons are now called ...

Pho Ton Torpedoes.

(A consequence of reading a front page post about the sale to Taiwan while watching ST:TNG.)

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Metalprof
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Have you heard of this terrorist group using wooden weapons?

They're a splinter cell!

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What was the best weapon during the Cold war?

A jacket.

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Avius_Si-muntu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
there's weapons

What is it called when someone cuts your weapon wielding limb off?

Disarmament

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/StefDraws69
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
🚨︎ report
A detective was investigating a murder. He soon found that the murder weapon was the bag of the murderer and it had their name on it.

It was a briefcase

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wingwang100
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Which is the most musical weapon?

Swords, because they go β€œSing! Sing! Sing!”

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bridgeheadprod
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
🚨︎ report
Weapon of brass destruction
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/robert_brownie-jr
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
🚨︎ report
They should make a film series about a guy who uses candles as weapons.

Call it John Wick.

πŸ‘︎ 109
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rhodesrugger
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
🚨︎ report
A student is arrested and brought to court for carrying a weapon to his morning lecture

Judge: Why did you bring a taser to your lecture?

Defendent: Well you see sir, I have a hard time getting up in the morning. But I’m not a big fan of soft drinks or coffee, so I thought the next best thing was to give me a good shock.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Pumped_Pipe
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I got into an argument with a friend about what the best medieval weapon was. I said the Warhammer, he said the Mace. It got so heated we are currently not speaking to each other...

Talk about blunt force drama.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/UltimaBahamut93
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Raise your weapon
πŸ‘︎ 110
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wickedlysane
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What is a old persons favourite weapon?

A boomerang

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/roodkonijn466
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Within minutes, the detectives figured out what the murder weapon was.

It was a brief case.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28
🚨︎ report
Within minutes, the detectives knew what the murder weapon was.

It was a brief case.

πŸ‘︎ 195
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I am suspicious that my wife is secretly adding glue to my weapons collection.

She denies it, but I’m sticking to my guns.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
🚨︎ report
I think my wife is putting glue on my antique weapons collection.

Of course she denies it, but I'm sticking to my guns.

πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/klwill1192
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I think my wife is secretly putting glue on my antique weapon collection.

She denies it, but I’m sticking to my guns.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Within minutes, the detective knew exactly what the murder weapon was.

It was a brief case.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2018
🚨︎ report
Within minutes, the detectives figured out what the murder weapon was.

It was a brief case.

πŸ‘︎ 878
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
🚨︎ report
I am convinced that my wife is secretly adding glue to my weapons collection.

She keeps denying it, but I’m sticking to my guns.

πŸ‘︎ 393
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2019
🚨︎ report

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