We had a potato cannon once. We had some dumpster bread. We were shooting it full of grass, bread and leaves....

Technically our cannon "shoots eats and leaves".

(As in the oxford comma panda assassin... that "eats, shoots, and leaves")

Anyway I've waited years for someone to appreciate this .... and it has never happened so far. I hope you are slightly amused....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mavaction
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
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What is the resemblance between canon and cannon?

They both destroy ships

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tadashi4
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
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Mate: Aye, the cannons be ready, Cap'n!

Captain: *are

Text adaptation of this

I wish this was my joke.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/extremely_4getful
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
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I won’t get to use my water cannon of doom

Water shame

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doomboy1808
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2021
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Did you hear about the human cannon-ball?

He was fired recently.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stormbreaker636
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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Still working on my beef and cream of mushroom cannon

Starting to worry it’s not stroganoff πŸ€¦πŸ»β€β™‚οΈ

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bradb717
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
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Why do cannons always spit out their ammo?

Because if they swallowed, it'd be cannonballism.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/A_Sweet_Lemon
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
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What happened to Napoleon when he got struck by a cannon ball?

He was blown apart.

πŸ‘︎ 175
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nirmandu
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
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My dad used to get shot from a cannon at the circus. When he retired they had to close the show.

They couldn't find another man of his caliber.

πŸ‘︎ 888
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πŸ‘€︎ u/totuan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2018
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What do you call someone who was fired from a cannon?

Unemployed.

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mcherniske
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
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Did you hear about the French general who used a cannon to start his kitchen remodel?

It was linoleum blownapart

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Capt-Redbeard
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2019
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What do you call a cannon that eats another cannon

Cannonball

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FuciusBunBoy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2017
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Pirate Crewmember: β€œTHE CANNONS BE READY, CAPTAIN!”

Pirate Captain: β€œAre...”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jam592501
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2018
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How did the cannon lose his job?

He was fired

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2018
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Only a certain caliber of clown gets to be shot from the cannon
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LeviAEthan512
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2017
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Why does corn curve when you shoot it out of a cannon?

Because of the Corn-iolis Effect

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kirk880
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2017
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I used to work at a cannon factory...

...but I got fired

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hi5ghost27
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2016
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What happened to Napoleon when he got struck by a cannon ball?

He was blown apart.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nirmandu
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
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