But I was arrested for having a congealed weapon
But I gave it another shot and it blew me away
Mary go round.
"...not our Sun."
I said, “You’ll come around eventually.”
Because no one expects the Spanish ink precision!
...that way, the door is always ajar.
So I blocked her
But I'm their sun
But I'm their son
It just feels like I’m going in circles.
Eventually she came around.
But I'm their son
"The world dosen't REVOLVER-ound you."
I guess that means I’m not actually their sun...
Now I can see her coming around.
I said, "He's in the Galley, Leo."
I swear, that guy struts around like all the planets revolve around him.
I said, “Don’t worry. You’ll come around eventually.”
I told her that hers does because he's her son and the world revolves around the son.
Me: Do you think the world just revolves around you?!
Son: Well I am a s(u)n...
I think they’re still going round together.
When I play it, they are the Revolving Doors.
Because he said the world revolves around him
A Colt revolver!
They both dedicated their life to convincing people the universe doesn’t revolve around them.
Just one, he holds the bulb up and the world revolves around him
The plot revolves around an MD whose patients all have unusual symptoms and need to be seen by a specialist.
Working title: REFER MADNESS
He orders a drink and sandwich. He eats, has a fine time with the others in the bar, and then heads towards the door when he's about ready to leave. But just before he does, he pulls out a pistol and empties all 6 rounds from the revolver right into the ceiling.
The bartender is frightened and angry he asks the bear "why did you do that??" He looks at the bartender and says "Panda. Look it up."
Intrigued by the night's occurrences, the bartender then goes home after closing and looks up "Panda'' in the dictionary. The entry for the animal said "Panda: Marsupial. Originating in Asian regions and commonly known for it's remarkably contrasting colors of black and white. Eats shoots and leaves.
It really makes my day.
Once upon a time there were three little pigs, Pork Chop, Hambone, and Bacon.
The boys lived at home with their mother. One day their mother said, “I no longer have enough food to feed you boys, you need to go out on your own and find your fortunes.”
Not wanting to upset their mother they left the house together to seek their fortunes.
Several miles into their journey Bacon, the little pig everyone liked best, said, “Let’s build our houses here! This seems like a great place to start making our fortunes.”
Pork Chop and Hambone agreed. So they all began building their houses.
Pork Chop, the laziest of the bunch, decided to build his house out of straw, which he apparently stole from a nearby field. It was not a very sturdy building material, but Pork Chop didn’t care. All he wanted to do was play all day, and he didn’t want to spend too much time building.
Hambone was willing to work a bit harder and he decided to build his house out of sticks which he procured by de-limbin... keep reading on reddit ➡
For centuries, we've used our shop as a means of teaching the youngest of our lineage the importance of teamwork, the value of a dollar and, most importantly, the self-satisfaction felt in a job well-done.
In the past few weeks, it's been repeatedly brought to my attention that our youngest child, Sheeran, has been demonstrating particularly helpful and productive tendencies so, today, I felt it was finally time to experience the honor of rewarding his efforts, offering him the opportunity to join our workforce; to which he was nothing short of ecstatic!
I'll be honest, I initially withheld concerns that his excitement would subside once I explained the sorts of menial work I'd have to start him off on but, to my relief, he took no issue in hearing that his duties would mostly revolve around wiping our patrons' hair off of the chairs, and sweeping it up from the floor.
Sharing a moment of beautiful silence, exchanging our most heartfelt of smiles and basking in this pivotal moment o... keep reading on reddit ➡
A trio of explorers were hiking through the Congo and found a small village that was very isolated and not on any map. The villagers turned out to speak English very well, and informed the adventurers very politely that theirs was a village of cannibals and they were to be cooked and eaten, and their hides tanned and turned into canoes for the villagers, but they would allow them to take their own life however they saw fit.
The first man asks for a sharp knife, slices his wrists open, and mutters "Lay me down and bleed a while, and ne'er up again."
The second man asks for his revolver, says "For God and Country!" and shoots himself in the head.
The last man asks for a fork, and stabs himself repeatedly screaming "Fuck your canoe!"
I would like to combine a Bowie song lyric/title and a business involving cakes and flowers but I am really bad at puns. If I could get some help that would be awesome. I mostly would like the pun to revolve around cake, but if it could include that and flowers that would be amazing.
Also awesome: David Bowie song titles/lyrics that are already applicable (i.e. "Sweet Thing")
I'm super awful at puns so any and all attempts are much appreciated!
I told my wife "the world doesn't revolve around our daughter".
She asked "why?"
"Because she's our daughter, not our sun."
I grabbed a powercunch bar out of the cabinet, my wife turns as says "Stop you have a problem" to which I replied "Yo, i'll solve it check out the hook while my DJ revolves it" then proceeded to stuff it in my mouth whilst trying to flee.
Two astronomers are watching the world revolve around the sun. After 24 hours they get tired and decide to call it a day.
So my sister does this thing called NoPoo so she doesn't wash her hair when she showers and does some weird thing to make it healthier than when you would use shampoo.
Anyway, the joke revolves around the remedy name, NoPoo.
Dad: So how does this work
Sister: Well it makes it so I don't have to wash my hair and makes my hair healthier
Me: So you're Shampoostipated
My dad laughed out loud and my sisters groaned.
We were talking at the dinner table, and my sister mentioned the ALS ice bucket challenges, stating I wouldn't have seen it as I don't use facebook. I retorted with that, had she ever paid attention in class, she would know that the world revolves around the sun, not facebook. Dad pipes up with:
Scientics watched the sun go around the world, and around, and around, and around, and they called it a day.
On October 23 (6.02x10^23) in my chem class we celebrate mole day. You have to make a project revolving around a mole pun. This year I did MoleDemort and printed a life size Voldemort with a mole head, but I'm out of ideas for Chem 2 AP next year. Want to get ideas early on, any suggestions? Some examples already taken that I don't want to repeat: Darth Mole Moleverine
I will add more as I remember, or if you come up with one that's already done.
Thanks in advance.
I told her, “You’ll come around eventually.”
Eventually she came around.
Wife: "Why would you say that?"
Me: "She's our daughter; not our Sun."