Pulled this one on my friend while setting up lunch plans. Then I holstered it.

Me: When do you wanna meet up?

Friend: I will give you a definite time later. We are shooting for 11:30.

Me: I feel bad for 11:30. What did it ever do to you?

👍︎ 7
💬︎
📅︎ Feb 17 2014
🚨︎ report
A woman was at a gas station filling her car with gas

A woman was at a gas station filling her car with gas. She inserted the nozzle and began filling the car with gas. As she waited for the car to fill, she lit a cigarette and began to smoke it. The car clicked to indicate it was full of gas, and she pulled the filler out of the car. Some gas leaked out of the filler onto her sweater arm, and a spark from the cigarette lit her arm on fire. The woman began to scream for help, and waved her arm about trying to put the fire out. A highway patrolman who happened to be nearby ran over and saw the woman flailing about in pain. Without hesitation, he pulled his handgun out of the holster and shot her three times. A few weeks later in court, the judge asked the patrolman why on earth he shot that woman? The patrolman answers, "well your honor, she was waving around a firearm!"

👍︎ 59
💬︎
📅︎ Sep 23 2017
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Heard from my Father in Law while driving along a backcountry road in Michigan...

After just passing an alpaca ranch...

"What do you get when you give some holsters and guns to an alpaca?"

Alpacan heat...

👍︎ 4
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👤︎ u/belinck
📅︎ Jun 06 2016
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