Gun Pun!
πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pun420
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend claims that he can print a gun using his 3D printer, but I’m not impressed.

I have had a Canon printer for years.

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04
🚨︎ report
A shop assistant fiercely fought off an armed robber with his labelling gun, yesterday.

Police are now looking for a man and say there's a price on his head

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 09
🚨︎ report
I once saw two guns get married.

It was a shotgun wedding.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Datolite7
πŸ“…︎ May 31
🚨︎ report
Why do guns only work when they are fired.

Please help. I am tired but I can't fall asleep. I need the ultimate answer.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TrickyBullfrog2
πŸ“…︎ May 10
🚨︎ report
I dropped my gun in the avocado dip. . .

Now is glockamole.

I don't care, I'll eat it anyway tomorrow on my toast for breakfast at ate a glock in the morning.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ May 16
🚨︎ report
What do guns and orgasms have in common?

They're both pretty cool but if you have either of them in a bank you're going to jail.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rare_Breed721
πŸ“…︎ May 18
🚨︎ report
My gun and vacuum store doesn’t get really good reviews.

It seems to Suck and Blow.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/robindc_93
πŸ“…︎ May 04
🚨︎ report
A man was shot 200 times with an upholstery gun...

.. doctors say he is now fully recovered.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZimbaZumba
πŸ“…︎ May 19
🚨︎ report
A man was shot more than 200 times with an upholstery gun...

Doctors revelaed he is now β€˜fully recovered’.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ May 20
🚨︎ report
A guy walks into the bank, pulls out a gun, points it at the teller and screams, β€œGive me all your money or you’re geography!”

The teller replies, β€œDon’t you mean history?”

The robber says, β€œDon’t change the subject!"

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bot_10
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Hand gun.
πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Baedhisattva
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07
🚨︎ report
What do you call a squirt gun with urine in it...

A piss-tol

πŸ‘︎ 78
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TopHatLlama353
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19
🚨︎ report
Seen a strawberry with a gun, robbing a lady.

Guessing he was in a jam.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eddie7325
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30
🚨︎ report
Speaking of guns...
πŸ‘︎ 62
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20
🚨︎ report
This dude got really pissed at me for drawing a gun on him today

He said he's seen better and asked me to draw it again.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DavidCFalcon
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31
🚨︎ report
News: 1 man dead after being held hostage at gun point today

"You think these people would learn to stop hanging out at gun point already"

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 10
🚨︎ report
Someone fired a gun into my phone

It was a screen shot

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kyteronix
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21
🚨︎ report
Somebody just walked into the store with a gun.

Oh shoot.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JeopardyGreen
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10
🚨︎ report
What do you call a T-rex that sells guns?

A small arms dealer!

πŸ‘︎ 209
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mr_1saac
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
🚨︎ report
What's the best hairstyle for a gun?

Bangs

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/stooftheoof
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27
🚨︎ report
People with guns love to read.

Magazines are their favorite.

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WinSquidGaming
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11
🚨︎ report
What kind of dinosaur sells guns?

A T Rex, they're small arms dealers

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WantedDadorAlive
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18
🚨︎ report
Why don't developers carry guns?

They have troubleshooting.

Edit: Wow! This really took off! I'm happy to have inspired so many grins, cringes, and chuckles!

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PickleFart69
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I took my new gun to the range to try it out, but somehow it won’t work.

Now I have to read the trouble shooting section in the manual.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Co-worker got a new drill and another co-worker responded, "Oh man, he's got a gun!"

The followed response, "Guys calm down, it's just a drill."

πŸ‘︎ 158
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LilPeabnut
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Who has eight guns and terrorizes the ocean?

Billy the squid

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pandacoat
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19
🚨︎ report
What happens when you give the sun a gun?

It becomes a shooting star.

πŸ‘︎ 106
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πŸ‘€︎ u/meatbag_289
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you get when cross a gun with a vagina?

A re-vulva

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Danisstillalive
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13
🚨︎ report
What is a pirate’s favorite gun?

An eyyye-arrrr 15

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BodhiTonka
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12
🚨︎ report
What do you call a 1000 pound gorilla with a suit and tie and a machine gun?

β€œSir”

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VictorHelios1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22
🚨︎ report
I have a T-Rex who sells me hand guns.

He's my small arms dealer.

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirMalcolmK
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to the shooting range for the first time and couldn’t get my gun to fire.

Now I have to read the trouble shooting section in the manual.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I just shot a guy with a paintball gun.

He dyed on impact.

πŸ‘︎ 67
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
You know your uncle went to WWII with a toy gun

He had nerfs of steel

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ramiel01
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Gotta watch out for Those gun trafficking Dinosaurs
πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShadowDabber
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
🚨︎ report
The term "getting the most bang for your buck" can be applied in a gun store and with a hooker
πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AliciaTries
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Gun prices have skyrocketed recently...

Some people are saying they've shot through the roof!

πŸ‘︎ 30
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πŸ‘€︎ u/A_Telephone
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend just told me that he can print a gun using his 3D printer, but I’m not impressed.

I’ve had a Canon printer for years.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2019
🚨︎ report
me: i lost my gun

friend: aw shoot

me: i cant

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thecodotmo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
🚨︎ report
My aunt always put a wad of Copenhagen between her cheek and gun before swimming...

She liked taking a dip.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that a group of dads created the ultimate gun?

It's called the jk-47

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gelldole
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2019
🚨︎ report
I think my wife is putting glue on my antique weapons collection. She denies it but I'm sticking to my guns!
πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Octopus : [holding a gun in each hand]

Cat : You're one short buddy

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rocketshoe21
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
🚨︎ report
I don’t like to use the word β€œgun”

People get triggered

πŸ‘︎ 72
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Emastergamer01
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Why did the T-Rex only sell hand-guns?

He was a small-arms dealer.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tricky_Nick007
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2019
🚨︎ report
A shop assistant tried stopping an armed robber by attacking him with a labeling gun.

Police are now looking for a man with a price on his head.

πŸ‘︎ 178
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Twigsnapper
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a gorilla with a machine gun ?

Whatever it wants to be called.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MLGCatz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2019
🚨︎ report
(My dad literally just told me this joke) A friend of mine just bought a hand gun from a t-rex.

He’s a small arms dealer.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cl1ffordclose
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Haha funny american gun homicide jokes

Ive never understood school shooting jokes

Geuss they are aimed at a younger audience

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ftang_5
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do people run away from you if you have a knife but charge at you if you have a gun?

There is an extra charge for owning guns.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mortalily
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
🚨︎ report
It's no wonder guns became more the more popular weapon over swords...

...compared to guns, swords just don't cut it.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NairodI
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
My mate told me that putting superglue on my rifle was a bad idea, but I'm sticking to my guns
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eastwind45
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
🚨︎ report
3D printers can print guns now...

I'm not impressed... I had a Canon printer years ago

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/B-man44
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Wanna know what I said when I got hit by a water gun?

H2Oww

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JayBoy1879
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What caliber is Chekhov's gun?

A Catch-22

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JackOfTrading
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I heard that you can now print a gun off a 3D printer, but I am not impressed.

I’ve had a Canon printer for years.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2018
🚨︎ report
I buy my guns from a guy called T-Rex

He's a small arms dealer

πŸ‘︎ 785
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Noir_Reaper
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
🚨︎ report
No gun show here
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dufosho
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What's Vader's favorite gun?

A Sith & Wesson.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Valdagast
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
🚨︎ report
I shot my enemy with a paintball gun

I wanted to see them dye

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mangojuiceloverr
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
🚨︎ report
A panda walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich. When he receives the check, he pulls out a gun, fires it several times, then walks out the door. If you don't get it look up "panda" in the dictionary ...

"Panda: A large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China; eats shoots and leaves."


Since today Merriam Webster even has the word dad joke:

"a wholesome joke of the type said to be told by fathers with a punchline that is often an obvious or predictable pun or play on words and usually judged to be endearingly corny or unfunny"

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/istrebitjel
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
🚨︎ report
Of course I believe in gun control!

I’m wearing sleeves, aren’t I?

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wxmatt
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2019
🚨︎ report
I like dillos, but do not support giving them guns.

I would never armadillo.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThePoeticElixir
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the flower seller who got held up at gun point...

... he was a petrified florist.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2019
🚨︎ report
You’re traveling the Oregon Trail and you meet a man named Terry. You say β€œTerry? That’s a girls name!” He pulls out his gun and shoots you.

You have died from dissin’ Terry

πŸ‘︎ 186
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sincons
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What do laser guns and churches have in common?

Pews

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/paxman2205
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
🚨︎ report
The ultimate dad joke a Hollywood could pull would be casting Ryan Gosling as Goose’s son in Top Gun 2.
πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Conan-doodle
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I buy my guns from a guy that goes by β€œT-Rex”

He’s a small arms dealer

πŸ‘︎ 212
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πŸ‘€︎ u/6stringsteev
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I live in a hood and bough my kid a toy gun

We call it pack-n-play

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PLUMBUM2
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the hunter say when his gun stopped working?

"Shoot!"

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lukamu
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I can't dry fire with this gun...
πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PCMM7
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2019
🚨︎ report
I have anxiety everytime I use a gun.

I'm easily triggered.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
🚨︎ report
The glue from my Hot glue gun disappeared and I don't know Why.

I am completely Glueless

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Who decided to call it a gun box, and not a shoot case?
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/napalm_roolz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
🚨︎ report
I have a bunch of French WW2 guns for sale

They've never been fired and only dropped once

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dtobin95
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2019
🚨︎ report
A red fruit walks into a bank with a gun.

He screams:" This is a strawberry!"

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ScaryPottedPlant
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
🚨︎ report
"3D printers can print guns now!"

Not impressed I've had a canon printer for years.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GodMustafi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What does the marxman put in his gun?

Communition!

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aitchnyu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2019
🚨︎ report
How does a Catholic gun sound when used to shoot?

Pew pew

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gentlewoolfy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Isn’t any used gun a shotgun?
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Koala__
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2019
🚨︎ report
A girl walks into a gun store and falls onto a weapon rack.

The gunstore owner says:

> She just fell into my arms

πŸ‘︎ 88
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirHallStein
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a rodent with a machine gun?

A ratatatatata

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/swiggetyswine69
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Breaking News: A man has been shot with a starter gun

Police think its race related

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Crocharlie
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
🚨︎ report
If you ask a member of the NRA what they think about machine guns, be prepared.

They'll give you an automatic response.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
🚨︎ report
You're in a cave, faced by a lion, a bear and a jaguar, with a gun and one bullet. What do you do?

Shoot the lion, drink the beer and drive away in the jaguar.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/denandbil
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I buy my guns from a guy who calls himself β€œT-Rex.”

He’s a small arms dealer.

πŸ‘︎ 465
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Winfinity
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2018
🚨︎ report
What kinda gun doesn’t kill things?

A vegun

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oh_no_yikes
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the gun that only shoots Israeli produced bullets?

I hear it's a semite automatic weapon.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bucnjazzfan
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a gun with whipped cream on it?

A dessert eagle

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrCamie
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
🚨︎ report
A guy walks into the bank, pulls out a gun, points it at the teller and screams, β€œGive me all your money or you’re geography!”

The teller replies, β€œDon’t you mean history?”

The robber says, β€œDon’t change the subject!"

πŸ‘︎ 15k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2018
🚨︎ report
My friend just told me that he can print a gun using a 3D printer, but i’m not impressed

I’ve had a Canon printer for years

πŸ‘︎ 126
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lobsman12
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
🚨︎ report
3d printers can print guns now!

Not impressed. Had a canon printer for years.

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
🚨︎ report
I buy my guns from a guy called T-Rex

He is a small arms dealer

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Noir_Reaper
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to the shooting range for the first time and couldn’t get my gun to fire.

Now I have to read the trouble shooting section in the manual.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2019
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3d printers can print guns now

Not impressed. Had a canon printer for years.

πŸ‘︎ 156
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lbucas
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2018
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