Why was the German boy sad when sister ran away with his 3-Musketeers Candy Bar ??

Because he was Far-from-nougat!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bad11ama
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
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The possibility that Elon musk's bodyguards aren't called musketeers makes me sad.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/alone_punner
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2018
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My wife just referred to the 'fun size' candy bar as "2 Musketeers"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nemo_sum
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2018
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What did George Washington say to his reinforcements?

You musket down here

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πŸ‘€︎ u/billgluckman7
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
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Elon musk can call his kids...

Musketeers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/harshamfk
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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What’re you laughing at?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/coadnamedalex
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2019
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Elon Musk should create a new line of weapons

And call them Muskets

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πŸ‘€︎ u/minediamonds69420
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2018
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Pearl Harbor of puns

If your onion sang hip-hop, would that be a rapscallion?

I used to be an astronaut, but I got tired of eating out of satellite dishes. I wasn't allowed to eat the Milky Way, even though I had to look at it every day. The worst thing was, I never got to visit The Space Bar. Then, when I was visiting the dark side of the moon, I was bitten by a parasite. Now, you might think it's crazy, but the doctor who removed it called it a lunar-tick.

If "womb" is pronounced "woom" and "tomb" is pronounced "toom", shouldn't "bomb" be pronounced "boom"?

China recently tested a new steroid. It basically turns you into The Hulk. The side effect is it could turn you into a crazed zombie that tends to rip the upper extremities from people. People are saying that this could be the zombie apocalypse. In my opinion, lips have nothing to do with it. I call it ARMageddon. The only way to stay safe now is to not let anyone close enough to disarm you.

I recently was going to join the railroad union. I decided against it because it's complicated. If I received instruction on driving the locomotive, would they call it engineering, or training?

I got a sad story about a flower. I don't know who the heck she pissed off, but damn, now she's a Black-Eyed Susan.

I finally figured out what makes leaves angry. Fall. They get so mad they change color. Some are yellow. They're just afraid and run from their problems. The other ones usually just leave.

I went parachuting with my military buddies once. We landed on a department store. I told him I think we're at the wrong coordinates. He said: "Nope. We're right on Target"

I asked a psychologist if Native Americans have strong emotions. He said "Oh yeah, they're intense".

If a psychotic person thought something made sense, would that thought be psychological?

If Matt Damon were searching for a secondhand store, would he be Goodwill Hunting?

My friend is a Marksman for the military. One day, he went to the armory and asked for 3 snipers. They gave him a candy bar. It was a 3 Musketeers.

I want to be there if Dwayne Johnson ever uses a pizza stone. That way I can smell what "The Rock" is cookin'.

Christopher bought a lemon, and the car broke down. Now Christopher Walken.

Have you heard about the latest bank battle on Wall Street? Capital One and Chase got in a fight and Capital One.

You know what a pirate says to his wenches when he sees the shoreline? "LAND HO!"

A man finds a lamp in the desert and dusts it off. Poof! A genie p

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PraetorSolaris
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
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Did you hear that the founder of Tesla is going into 18th century firearms?

Now he’ll be Elon Musket

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
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If Athos, Porthos and Aramis want to be cat girls for the costume party...

...the three musketeers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Asmor
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2017
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What do you call a fan of Elon Musk?

A Musketeer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ImmaSquidling
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2015
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I need candy puns

Please give me puns I can quickly shout while walking through the hallway and chucking candy after screaming the pun. Preferably candy you would get on Halloween. Thank you for helping me out.

You are Musketeers of my heart.

.............

i hate myself

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πŸ‘€︎ u/energized-pickle
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2019
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