Cannon Puns

A list of puns related to "Cannon"

Did you hear about the human cannon-ball?

He was fired recently.

👍︎ 10
💬︎
👤︎ u/Stormbreaker636
📅︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Still working on my beef and cream of mushroom cannon

Starting to worry it’s not stroganoff 🤦🏻‍♂️

👍︎ 7
💬︎
👤︎ u/Bradb717
📅︎ Sep 21 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do cannons always spit out their ammo?

Because if they swallowed, it'd be cannonballism.

👍︎ 39
💬︎
👤︎ u/A_Sweet_Lemon
📅︎ Jul 11 2020
🚨︎ report
What happened to Napoleon when he got struck by a cannon ball?

He was blown apart.

👍︎ 179
💬︎
👤︎ u/nirmandu
📅︎ Jan 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call someone who was fired from a cannon?

Unemployed.

👍︎ 27
💬︎
👤︎ u/mcherniske
📅︎ Oct 17 2019
🚨︎ report
My dad used to get shot from a cannon at the circus. When he retired they had to close the show.

They couldn't find another man of his caliber.

👍︎ 885
💬︎
👤︎ u/totuan
📅︎ Sep 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the French general who used a cannon to start his kitchen remodel?

It was linoleum blownapart

👍︎ 20
💬︎
👤︎ u/Capt-Redbeard
📅︎ Dec 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cannon that eats another cannon

Cannonball

👍︎ 39
💬︎
👤︎ u/FuciusBunBoy
📅︎ Jul 13 2017
🚨︎ report
Pirate Crewmember: “THE CANNONS BE READY, CAPTAIN!”

Pirate Captain: “Are...”

👍︎ 16
💬︎
👤︎ u/jam592501
📅︎ Oct 15 2018
🚨︎ report
How did the cannon lose his job?

He was fired

👍︎ 27
💬︎
👤︎ u/badpunforyoursmile
📅︎ Mar 29 2018
🚨︎ report
Only a certain caliber of clown gets to be shot from the cannon
👍︎ 31
💬︎
👤︎ u/LeviAEthan512
📅︎ Jul 31 2017
🚨︎ report
Why does corn curve when you shoot it out of a cannon?

Because of the Corn-iolis Effect

👍︎ 5
💬︎
👤︎ u/Kirk880
📅︎ Nov 17 2017
🚨︎ report
I used to work at a cannon factory...

...but I got fired

👍︎ 9
💬︎
👤︎ u/Hi5ghost27
📅︎ Jan 19 2016
🚨︎ report
My friend claims that he can print a gun using his 3D printer, but I’m not impressed.

I have had a Canon printer for years.

👍︎ 17k
💬︎
👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Jun 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Sea Captain

A sea captain hunted for his white whale for decades. When he finally came upon it, a storm roared to life and began to toss his ship to and fro. A cannon came loose and crushed his leg.

He got the whale, and left behind a legacy.

((Work in progress. Just came to me during a conversation over a game of cards. Feedback welcome.))

👍︎ 4
💬︎
👤︎ u/TheCVisNih
📅︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the author write about pirates?

They thought it was cannon to the story.

👍︎ 19
💬︎
👤︎ u/InspectorJavert620
📅︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Pi-rate this pun out of 10.
👍︎ 5k
💬︎
👤︎ u/sarc_avenger
📅︎ Dec 31 2018
🚨︎ report
Help with puns on biblical figures

I'm performing a comedy and I have an improv bit where I call someone a goofy name. It needs to be a pun on something in Judeo-Christian cannon, bonus points if it's about the angel michael. I.e. Michael Sword-an or Joan of Snark... something like that. Yall got suggestions???

👍︎ 2
💬︎
👤︎ u/Tesla_pasta
📅︎ Jan 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call an official weapon that shoots pieces of music?

A canon canon cannon

👍︎ 1k
💬︎
👤︎ u/johnnysmart
📅︎ Feb 07 2017
🚨︎ report
(X post) An artillery captain was made a saint by the Catholic Church.

One could say he was cannonized,

👍︎ 3
💬︎
👤︎ u/Pun-isher42
📅︎ Feb 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What is your relationship to this big gun?

I’m the cannon fodder.

👍︎ 4
💬︎
👤︎ u/underdog515049
📅︎ Jun 30 2018
🚨︎ report
It takes balls to make music like Tchaikovsky...

Cannon balls.

👍︎ 6
💬︎
👤︎ u/Derumo
📅︎ Dec 18 2017
🚨︎ report
Got my mom with this one yesterday.

Yesterday started a new motocross season for my nephew, so for his inaugural race a bunch of family went to watch him. I'm an amateur/hobbyist photographer so I brought my telephoto zoom lens out and my Canon body to get a few shots of him on the track. The assembled camera is about 18 inches in length. After putting it together:

Mom (first seeing it): Holy crap! That thing looks like a damn cannon!

Me: (pointing to the label) You sure know your cameras, it is a Canon!

Typical dad joke responses ensued.

👍︎ 6
💬︎
👤︎ u/Primacron
📅︎ Apr 18 2016
🚨︎ report
My American Cultures teacher is the perfect dad

We were watching a movie about the Battle at Wounded Knee, and it went something like this- "Fire at will!" (Commander) -scene changes to a man being hit by a cannon shot- "Oh no, they hit Will!!!" I think I was the only one who laughed.

👍︎ 4
💬︎
👤︎ u/madmike34455
📅︎ Dec 12 2013
🚨︎ report
Watching the kids choice sports awards when

Two guys show with these big guns ready to fire out into the crowd! This kid asks if they are slime cannons, I said no, they're t-shirt cannons!

My girlfriend turns around and says nah its Nick Cannon..

I'm just surprised I didn't say it before she did.

👍︎ 2
💬︎
👤︎ u/CapnMcNutInMyButt
📅︎ Jul 19 2014
🚨︎ report
What happened to Napoleon when he got struck by a cannon ball?

He was blown apart.

👍︎ 10
💬︎
👤︎ u/nirmandu
📅︎ Jan 04 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend just told me that he can print a gun using his 3D printer, but I’m not impressed.

I’ve had a Canon printer for years.

👍︎ 4k
💬︎
👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ May 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call an official weapon that shoots pieces of music?

A canon canon cannon

👍︎ 16
💬︎
👤︎ u/johnnysmart
📅︎ Feb 08 2017
🚨︎ report
An artillery captain was made a saint in the Catholic Church.

One could say he was cannonized.

👍︎ 6
💬︎
👤︎ u/Pun-isher42
📅︎ Feb 08 2019
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.