He was fired recently.
Starting to worry it’s not stroganoff 🤦🏻♂️
Because if they swallowed, it'd be cannonballism.
He was blown apart.
Unemployed.
They couldn't find another man of his caliber.
It was linoleum blownapart
Cannonball
Pirate Captain: “Are...”
He was fired
Because of the Corn-iolis Effect
...but I got fired
I have had a Canon printer for years.
A sea captain hunted for his white whale for decades. When he finally came upon it, a storm roared to life and began to toss his ship to and fro. A cannon came loose and crushed his leg.
He got the whale, and left behind a legacy.
((Work in progress. Just came to me during a conversation over a game of cards. Feedback welcome.))
They thought it was cannon to the story.
I'm performing a comedy and I have an improv bit where I call someone a goofy name. It needs to be a pun on something in Judeo-Christian cannon, bonus points if it's about the angel michael. I.e. Michael Sword-an or Joan of Snark... something like that. Yall got suggestions???
A canon canon cannon
One could say he was cannonized,
I’m the cannon fodder.
Cannon balls.
Yesterday started a new motocross season for my nephew, so for his inaugural race a bunch of family went to watch him. I'm an amateur/hobbyist photographer so I brought my telephoto zoom lens out and my Canon body to get a few shots of him on the track. The assembled camera is about 18 inches in length. After putting it together:
Mom (first seeing it): Holy crap! That thing looks like a damn cannon!
Me: (pointing to the label) You sure know your cameras, it is a Canon!
Typical dad joke responses ensued.
We were watching a movie about the Battle at Wounded Knee, and it went something like this- "Fire at will!" (Commander) -scene changes to a man being hit by a cannon shot- "Oh no, they hit Will!!!" I think I was the only one who laughed.
Two guys show with these big guns ready to fire out into the crowd! This kid asks if they are slime cannons, I said no, they're t-shirt cannons!
My girlfriend turns around and says nah its Nick Cannon..
I'm just surprised I didn't say it before she did.
He was blown apart.
I’ve had a Canon printer for years.
A canon canon cannon
One could say he was cannonized.
