I have to go to work at the museum this evening, moving suits of armour around.

I hate knight shifts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2021
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What do you call a pregnant person in a suit of armour?

Bump in the knight

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
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A knight bursts into a blacksmith and yells β€œyou smelt my armour!”

The blacksmith was calm and collected and replied: β€œYes, and what a lovely scent it had.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
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If this new 'dynamic armour' thing they're working on involves electrical charges between plates...

... can we just call it e-mail?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ruinsfate
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
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My 5 y.o. son walked up to me with his under armour shirt on backwards so the words were on the back.

He said, β€œI got back words!” How did I not see that one coming?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
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My neighbors just got sent a suit of armour but they weren't home when it arrived.

I told the delivery driver that they must have gone out for the Knight.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arctikavanian
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2019
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I've asked my wife to put on Mandalorian armour tonight.

I've got a Boba Fettish.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Weavel
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2019
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I recently bought a few tank tops.

Sadly, our captain doesn't want our armoured vehicles to look trendier.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/incredibleinkpen
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2021
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Nice explanation.
πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSclerdle
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2017
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Armor
πŸ‘︎ 887
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jaxx1099
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2017
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Different Shapes
πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naked_Guy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
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[Request] pubs involving medieval terms

Hey all. I work at a place that sells medieval and Renaissance themed clothing, weapons, and armour. We are beginning to sell snacks in the breakroom for employees (sans vending machine) and I want to call the "shop" something silly/ridiculous. Ye Olde Snack Shack just won't cut it, I want a good pun in there. Don't hesitate to use fantasy inspired ideas either. I wanted to go with The Dragon's Hoard, but would rather have something funny as well!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/magic_vs_science
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
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I had some meat in a can

I don't know what it was called but it was Spam good!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/timmyjaymes
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2018
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I asked my wife to polish my medieval battle uniform while I go to the pub.

She always wanted a night in, shining armour.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JimmyNuggets
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2018
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What is a cows favorite brand of workout clothes?

Udder Armour.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/punk62
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2015
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At a minor league basketball game with my friend and his dad

The 87'ers were losing to the Springfield Armor. My friend's dad turns to me and says, "I guess you could say they're under-armour."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theflyingbanana
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2013
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I'm annoyed because I had to work at the museum tonight moving suits of armour.

I hate knight shifts.

πŸ‘︎ 105
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πŸ‘€︎ u/orduk
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
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