If you have something urgent to say to your magician friend who you can only communicate with via mail...
You better use a Penn & Teller
I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth we can read maps backwards!" and I thought to myself...
If someone mails you a square can of meat, DON'T open it!
Did you hear that U.S. Mail is starting a freight delivery service to compete with FedEx and UPS?
I gave up explaining to my Zen master how E-mails work.
He can't just comprehend what attachments are!
My mail man just had a sex change operation.
I guess I should call him a post man now
Why did the German mail man deliver an envelope to the Polish neighbour?
Because he was in Reichweite
We ordered some mail-order chickens a few months ago. Today, one of my housemates said it's looking like one of them is turning out to be a rooster.
I'm like, "Well see, we shoulda gotten female-order chickens instead, that's our problem right there. We're lucky the rest didn't turn out to be roosters too!"
This was an honest-to-god real conversation I just had with my housemate earlier tonight. :)
Just got my new custom Billfold in the mail
I was surprised to learn my family had never heard of the patron Saint of e-mails
So I had to tell them about Saint Francis of A CC
Why do Paladins prefer Chain Mail?
Because it's Holey Armor.
What do you call someone who can talk to the mail?
What's a knight's favorite type of e-mail?
Someone told me that women shouldn't deliver the mail
The US Postal Service doesn't have enough machines to differentiate the mail.
They're all out of sorts.
Dad, I checked. There was no mail today.
How does a skeleton receive mail?
If you get an e-mail from the CDC about tins of pork being contaminated with COVID-19, don’t open it.
If you rearrange the letters in "Royal Mail"
They get extremely annoyed
What do you call a woman who delivers mail?
Would she be a mailwoman or femailman?
What do you call a letter that goes in the mail without postage?
Why did you keep working for mail service when everyone was isolating?
It's not the money, it's about the message.
Why would prometheus make a good mail carrier?
He has alot of experience with de-livering.
Does a Mail truck have more rights than a Fe-Mail truck?
My local government sent me some free, emergency toilet paper in the mail!
They called it a "Jury Summons."
Can buddhists use e-mail?
Yes, but they can't use attachments.
My diabetic son's insulin delivery kit just came in the mail
Usually I pick the Royal Mail as a deliverer for my purchases
It's because they do it door-tudor
what kind of mail does a witch carry her broom?
I was sad to hear today that Mail Trucks are going extinct.
There aren't enough Femail Trucks to sustain the population.
I received this joke in the mail and now I'm sending it out to you guys.
My girlfriend tried to apply at the post office but they wouldn’t letter. They said only mails work here.
My dad's a doctor, and we got this in the mail a couple days ago.
Me: I got a notice in the mail that something is wrong with my vehicle.
Friend: Did you get it fixed?
Friend: Why not?
Me: I don't recall
Every time the mail gets delivered, I break down crying.
I really should speak to a therapist about my post-traumatic stress disorder.
My mail order bride arrived today, deceased. The coroner's report noted she was missing an organ...
and the company refused to refund my purchase because it had already been de-livered.
I was teaching political correctness to my niece and I said, "Ok let's say there's someone named Michael or Mike for short, and if Mike delivers mail, he's a Mail-man. Similarly if there's someone named Jennifer who's doing the same job what would you call her?"
I got an e-mail saying, "At Google Earth, we can read maps backwards!" and I thought...