Some idiot posted a Chinese telephone directory through my door...

It was full of Wong numbers.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FuckinWimp87
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 09 2021
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My 7 year old nephew showed me with pride the "telephone" he had just made from a string and two tin cans. I pulled out my iPhone and said, "That's nice, but..."

"Look at what kids your age make in China!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 130
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 25 2020
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I’ve always wondered what it’s like to be a telephone pole...

I bet it would be electrifying

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sativa588
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 08 2020
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Why didn’t the squirrel cross the telephone line?

Because it was busy.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Brodacious-G
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 10 2020
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My friends and I tried to bypass the quarantine laws by dressing up as crows and hanging out together on top of a telephone wire

Unfortunately, someone called the police on us and we got arrested for attempted murder.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 76
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hpbojoe
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 12 2020
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I invented a telephone that doesn't ring.

I got the No-bell prize for it.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LurkyTheHatMan
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 10 2020
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How did the telephone maker propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring!!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/yashrajt
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 03 2020
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Why did the programmer get a huge telephone bill?

Because his program was CALLING a lot of subroutines.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/madjholu
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 15 2019
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I saw people putting notes at the bottom of a telephone pole. I asked them what they were doing and one person said:

"We are putting comments under this post"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/brandschain
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 04 2019
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What do you call it when a Tesla crashes and wraps itself around a telephone pole?

A Tesla Coil

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FrankDaTank787
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 21 2019
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What was a more important invention than the first telephone?

The second one.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 27 2019
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Why did the boy telephone and the girl telephone break up?

There was just no connection...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JaymantheLegend
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 12 2019
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Why do birds hang out on telephone lines?

So they can tweet.

(I hit my family with this one today. Its probably been done before but it was so satisfying hearing everyone groan.)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SuperAwesomeNinjaGuy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 08 2019
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The telephone book listing read Suicidal Hotline, which I thought was a typo, so I called it.

The line was dead.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 11 2019
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My wife wants to have sex over the telephone.

The bed might be easier though.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 30
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 03 2018
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Too bad what happened to the new telephone line repairman...

Poor guy got suspended on his first day.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Tribunal_Power
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 26 2018
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Apple’s Genius Bar is just a game of broken telephone.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VaiterZen
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 16 2018
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How do you make a telephone in the jungle?

With toucans and a piece of string.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/-rabid-
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 20 2018
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Do you know how one used to call the telephone's inventor?

It rings a Bell.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ContentDoctor
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 24 2017
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Just had a telephone call from a researcher asking for my opinion on wind turbines.

"Big fan", I replied.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 54
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Gazcobain
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 08 2016
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What do u call a golden retriever and telephone

A golden receiver

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ShadowDaGamer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 16 2017
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My nephew was playing with a corded telephone and walked so far the cord was stretched out. Enter my brother-in-law

"What are you doing? Making a long distance call?"


He was so proud of the joke he called me in as the only other person who would appreciate it.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JohnFoxpoint
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 12 2015
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Did you hear that they are not making telephone poles any longer?

Yep, and they are not makeing them any shorter either.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mitchrut
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 10 2015
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What to say when you hear a cellphone with a classic old telephone bell ringtone ...

... "That's the phone-iest ringtone I've ever heard!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jlking3
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 27 2013
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What was a more important invention than the first telephone?

The second one.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 17 2019
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What was more important than the invention of the telephone?

The second one.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/pandaflesh
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 17 2018
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What invention was needed more than the first telephone?

The second one!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Datboifritz113
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 08 2019
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