Speakerphone Puns

Phone: "Call from ... Jorge S ... Jorge S ..."

Me: "?Jorge es que?"

Family: (groans)

Me, on speakerphone with both my parents: "So, Rob just proposed..."

Dad:"To do what?"

Me: "...."

I called my family tonight, they put me on speakerphone, and my less than ladylike little sister disappears with "I've got to go take a shit"

My father chimes in with his usual-- "Take one? That's weird, I always leave one when I go to the bathroom"

Pic will be found in the comments below

Last night, as I was getting ready to cook dinner, I received a mysterious phone call from a number I didn't recognize and I naturally let it go to voicemail. Surprisingly the mystery caller did leave a voice message and several minutes later I got this text. To eliminate all possibilities I proceeded to listen to the voicemail and ensure it was indeed someone important to me. It was both of my parents(they like to put me on speakerphone so they can talk to me simultaneously) informing me of my Dad's new cellular device.

Now, as far as i can tell, my Dad has never sent a text msg in his life. He's been retired for 10+ years and he loves to talk on the phone to friends and loved ones for hours. He has no reason to text. I also wouldn't put him into a general category when it comes to dad jokes. Meaning he might not have enjoyed this as much as I. So, after much deliberation I decided to welcome my Dad to the world of SMS the only way I felt was appropriate to the relationship we share.

Also, one of my favorite of his sayings is referring to my best friend as suave(Ss-wave) and debonair (De-boner.)

Oh and don't let your meatloaf.

She put him on speakerphone so I could provide support if needed. When she explained their separation, he responded with: "well your mother and I are separated, too."
Her: "What? No you aren't... are you?"
Her dad: "Sure we are! She's in the living room and I'm in the kitchen."

Damnit, Doug.

Years ago my parents sent my sister to England for a summer camp/study trip. Whenever we would call her we'd all gather around the speakerphone and talk briefly since international phone calls were expensive back then. One day we call her and my sister tells my dad that she has 6 more days of camp left and she is down to her last pound (dollar). There is a long awkward pause. Then my sister ask: Dad, what should I do? To which my dad responds: Spend it wisely...