Loudspeaker Puns

They just arrived. Safe and sound

Found this on a text message from someone's actual dad

I don't like the sound of it

He said: “For all in tents, and porpoises...”

So I was at school and the loudspeaker said advanced orchestra was canceled for the day. I whispered to my friend "Dang, they should've told us in advance!" and she threatened to stab me with her pencil.

I was emailing him about recent baseball events and got a bit nostalgic about going to games with him. I'd get so embarrassed every single time they would play the trumpets over the loudspeaker. Everybody else screamed "CHARGE!!!" my dad yelled "PAY CASH!!!!!"

edit: missed word

The opening period was almost over, the crowd was quiet as there wasn't much action going on and suddenly I hear a lone dad behind me ask loudly to the crowd, 'How many minutes are remaining in the period?' In perfect timing the arena announcer then exclaims over the loudspeaker, 'There is one minute remaining in the period. One minute.' I smirked and the dad was the only one who laughed.

(on loudspeaker): "Customer assistance needed in the blind cutting area. Customer assistance needed in the blind cutting area."

Dad: "Why are they cutting blind people?!"