hear me out: if sound is a wave

then I already know sine language!

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ‘€︎ u/berninicaco3
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
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What did the sound wave say to the doctor?

β€œIt hertz when I touch it doc”

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/YeetinsBurg
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
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What did the scientist say after getting hit by a sound wave?

"Ouch, that Hertz."

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hi_im_Nadeem
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
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Why do photons move faster than sound waves?

Because they’re traveling light.

πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ‘€︎ u/onejdc
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2018
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My wife and I bought a water bed recently but ever since then...

...we’ve drifted apart.

πŸ‘︎ 799
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
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If a tree falls in the woods and nobody hears it

It means my illegal logging business is a success

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ‘€︎ u/taylorgs12
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2019
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514 Dad Jokes

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweeping the nation.

What cheese can never be yours? Nacho cheese.

What did the Buffalo say to his little boy when he dropped him off at school? Bison.

Have you ever heard of a music group called Cellophane? They mostly wrap.

Why does Superman gets invited to dinners? Because he is a Supperhero.

How was Rome split in two? With a pair of Ceasars.

The shovel was a ground breaking invention.

A scarecrow says, "This job isn't for everyone, but hay, it's in my jeans."

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."

Did you hear about the guy who lost the left side of his body? He's alright now.

What do you call a girl with one leg that's shorter than the other? Ilene.

I did a theatrical performance on puns. It was a play on words.

What do you do with a dead chemist? You barium.

I bet the person who created the door knocker won a Nobel prize.

Towels can’t tell jokes. They have a dry sense of humor.

Two birds are sitting on a perch and one says "Do you smell fish?"

Do you know sign language? You should learn it, it’s pretty handy.

What do you call a beautiful pumpkin? GOURDgeous.

Why did one banana spy on the other? Because she was appealing.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with all of its legs? High steaks.

A cross eyed teacher couldn’t control his pupils.

After the accident, the juggler didn

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 76
πŸ‘€︎ u/Josvys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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Challenge: Sound absorption

Im doing science fair this year, and need a title. Which I would like to be a pun. Any ideas? its on sound, and sound absorption.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2014
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Puns I only wish I could think of.

I got two. This was at a wildlife preserve while my family and I were visiting Alaska.

  1. SCENE: Lynx exhibit. WILDLIFE PRESERVER: "And these are our 2 lynx, we found them as kittens and they have always lived here." DAD: "They're lynx, huh? So where do they take me if I click on them?"

Aftermath: She didn't get it.

  1. SCENE: Moose area. DAD: "What do you do if a bear charges you?" FAMILY: "Wave our arms and shout at it." DAD: "And what do you do if a moose charges you?" FAMILY: "uhh..." DAD: "You give him your credit card!"

Aftermath: The sound of 3 hand smacking their foreheads.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ‘€︎ u/Space_Bungalow
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2013
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A classic dad joke

picks up stud finder

"Hmmm let's test it to see if it works"

makes beeping sound as he waves it over himself

"Yep! Seems fine to me!"

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rikplaysbass
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2014
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