I once said in public, "Lossy compression is shit."

I got a lot of FLAC for it.

šŸ‘︎ 11
šŸ‘¤︎ u/_nardog
šŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
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The Jedi created a new form of data compression for oral communication during combat

It can store up to a Yoda bite.

šŸ‘︎ 13
šŸ‘¤︎ u/s-dubya
šŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2017
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Have you heard the growl of a compressed dinosaur?

It's sounds like ".rar"

šŸ‘︎ 15
šŸ‘¤︎ u/_releaf_
šŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
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Compressed air at gas stations used to be FREE, but now you have to pay $2!

Inflation blows.

šŸ‘︎ 84
šŸ‘¤︎ u/professorf
šŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
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What do you call someone who can conjure up compressed files?

A source-a-rar.

šŸ‘︎ 9
šŸ‘¤︎ u/zombie-narwhals
šŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
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The lions roar was so big that when I compressed it , it turned out to be a " .Rawr " file.
šŸ‘︎ 7
šŸ‘¤︎ u/Jizzler_Rage_792
šŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
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All my porn is in a compressed folder

Sigh unzips

šŸ‘︎ 221
šŸ‘¤︎ u/ldb477
šŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
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Why do weighted blankets calm you down?

Because compression is the opposite of tension!

šŸ‘︎ 4
šŸ‘¤︎ u/andnat12
šŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2021
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Cop: Iā€™m arresting you for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia.

Man: Wait. I can explain everything!

šŸ‘︎ 14k
šŸ‘¤︎ u/porichoygupto
šŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
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Got a cheesy potato pun
šŸ‘︎ 3
šŸ‘¤︎ u/ALizardKing
šŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
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You know why I like warm weather? It keeps me warm.

Don't worry, that's just my warm-up joke.

As much as I'd like to claim this as mine, credit goes to a friend of mine for this one.

šŸ‘︎ 9
šŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2018
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A disease has been discovered where musicians temporarily lost their ability to tell which notes are which when sharing an automobile with a stranger.

Medical experts have named it "carpool tonal syndrome".

šŸ‘︎ 137
šŸ‘¤︎ u/thefizzynator
šŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2016
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Had a great one at work that nobody will know about

Alright so quick synopsis of what I do for a living is treating industrial waste water for oil fields. Part of our process is removing solids from the water and using a hydraulic press to squeeze the water out of it and dispose of the dry cakes. Once a day, a waste company rolls in large trucks to remove the big bins where we store the cakes, and put in fresh ones.

Today I was talking with the driver of the truck as he replaced my last bin. I wished him well on the road since we live in California and lordy knows nobody understands how to drive in the rain. As I was turning away from him I said

"If you'll excuse me, I have more pressing matters to attend to."

And immediately started up the steps to our press building, laughing the entire time.

šŸ‘︎ 17
šŸ‘¤︎ u/SSV_Kearsarge
šŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2017
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Epic Pun Battle: Sewing
šŸ‘︎ 20
šŸ‘¤︎ u/DaxHalo
šŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2015
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Dadjoked by dad when cleaning our computers

Me: "Do you know if we have any compressed air around so I can clean out our computers?"

Dad: "There's a can of Raid here, but that probably wouldn't work too well."

Me: "Yeah probably not."


I didn't even cringe I just laughed out loud because it was so good.

šŸ‘︎ 190
šŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2016
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The best dad jokes are nerd-dad jokes - for that extra dose of lameness.

Once, I asked a monster what his favourite file compression format was. He said "RAR!"

šŸ‘︎ 48
šŸ‘¤︎ u/lachiemx
šŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2013
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The helium truck

My dad and I were in the car the other day and we passed a truck that said it contained compressed helium. My dad looked at me and said "I bet they had to weigh that truck down so it doesn't float away"

šŸ‘︎ 5
šŸ‘¤︎ u/GhostofMiyabi
šŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2013
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