A list of puns related to "Compress"
It's sounds like ".rar"
Inflation blows.
A source-a-rar.
Sigh unzips
Because compression is the opposite of tension!
I got a lot of FLAC for it.
Man: Wait. I can explain everything!
It can store up to a Yoda bite.
Lassi compression
Don't worry, that's just my warm-up joke.
As much as I'd like to claim this as mine, credit goes to a friend of mine for this one.
Medical experts have named it "carpool tonal syndrome".
Alright so quick synopsis of what I do for a living is treating industrial waste water for oil fields. Part of our process is removing solids from the water and using a hydraulic press to squeeze the water out of it and dispose of the dry cakes. Once a day, a waste company rolls in large trucks to remove the big bins where we store the cakes, and put in fresh ones.
Today I was talking with the driver of the truck as he replaced my last bin. I wished him well on the road since we live in California and lordy knows nobody understands how to drive in the rain. As I was turning away from him I said
"If you'll excuse me, I have more pressing matters to attend to."
And immediately started up the steps to our press building, laughing the entire time.
Me: "Do you know if we have any compressed air around so I can clean out our computers?"
Dad: "There's a can of Raid here, but that probably wouldn't work too well."
Me: "Yeah probably not."
Dad: "BUT YOU WOULDN'T HAVE ANY BUGS IN YOUR SYSTEM!"
I didn't even cringe I just laughed out loud because it was so good.
Once, I asked a monster what his favourite file compression format was. He said "RAR!"
My dad and I were in the car the other day and we passed a truck that said it contained compressed helium. My dad looked at me and said "I bet they had to weigh that truck down so it doesn't float away"
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.