A list of puns related to "Compressing"
Inflation blows.
A source-a-rar.
Sigh unzips
I got a lot of FLAC for it.
Man: Wait. I can explain everything!
Lassi compression
It can store up to a Yoda bite.
Don't worry, that's just my warm-up joke.
As much as I'd like to claim this as mine, credit goes to a friend of mine for this one.
Medical experts have named it "carpool tonal syndrome".
Alright so quick synopsis of what I do for a living is treating industrial waste water for oil fields. Part of our process is removing solids from the water and using a hydraulic press to squeeze the water out of it and dispose of the dry cakes. Once a day, a waste company rolls in large trucks to remove the big bins where we store the cakes, and put in fresh ones.
Today I was talking with the driver of the truck as he replaced my last bin. I wished him well on the road since we live in California and lordy knows nobody understands how to drive in the rain. As I was turning away from him I said
"If you'll excuse me, I have more pressing matters to attend to."
And immediately started up the steps to our press building, laughing the entire time.
Me: "Do you know if we have any compressed air around so I can clean out our computers?"
Dad: "There's a can of Raid here, but that probably wouldn't work too well."
Me: "Yeah probably not."
Dad: "BUT YOU WOULDN'T HAVE ANY BUGS IN YOUR SYSTEM!"
I didn't even cringe I just laughed out loud because it was so good.
Once, I asked a monster what his favourite file compression format was. He said "RAR!"
My dad and I were in the car the other day and we passed a truck that said it contained compressed helium. My dad looked at me and said "I bet they had to weigh that truck down so it doesn't float away"
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