I was having problems with the printer at work last week and I had to ring the engineer. I told him that I kept putting paper in to the printer but the display kept saying it just can't get enough...
The engineer said "ah yes.... it's stuck in Depeche Mode"....
Why did Bilbo Baggins not want to give up the ring?
It was a force of hobbit.
I threw an engagement ring at my girlfriend, but she dodged out of the way.
The Lord of the Rings official pinball machine doesn’t take quarters.
"Mom, does Uranus have rings?"
I hear that Legolas from the Lord of the Rings had an older brother, but he died before Legolas was born.
There are 3 rings in a failed marriage:
Engagement ring
Wedding ring
And suffering...
So I lost my Mood Ring today...
I'm not so sure how I feel about that.
Someone stole my mood ring.
I don't know how to feel about that.
Why couldn't they ring the jinge bells this holiday season?
Why couldn't they ring the jinge bells this holiday season?
There was noel
Where did the duck find it’s ring?
Doctor Doctor! At night in my bed I keep saying lines from The Lord of The Rings
That's ok, you're just Tolkien in your sleep.
I heard they’re remaking one of the Lord of the Rings movies, but everyone rides around on bicycles instead of horses.
They’re calling it The Two Tires
I keep reciting all of Lord of The Rings in bed
My wife says I need to do something about Tolkien in my sleep.
My buddy said he bought an engagement ring for his girlfriend that is too big.
"That's harsh," I told him, "I think she has a great body."
Two lumberjacks were cutting wood. One of them shouted at the other over the noise of the chainsaw, “What was the name of that tree ring dating app you were using?”
The other replied, “Tiiiiimmmber!”
Tolkien typed the entire Lord Of The Rings using only two fingers
That must have been Mordor
Every time I passed a ring-shaped coral reef with a coral rim that encircles a lagoon, I had to pay a fee...
Does anyone know who played frodo in Lord of the rings?
If you see this car, ring the police. It is stollen.
Just bought a diamond ring for the Wife from a green Leprechaun. I dunno...
...Think I was sold a sham rock.
In case you’re thinking about getting married, consider this carefully—-on the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.
On the other hand, you don’t.
What has wheels and prevents water rings
I invented a telephone that doesn't ring.
I got the No-bell prize for it.
"Do you know that movies about Elves, Dwarves and Hobbits where they try to destroy a ring?"
"You mean The Lord Of The Rings?"
"Yes, that's the one I'm Tolkien about."
What do you call slobber on a ring finger?
Joe gave a girl a ring for Christmas
“Marry Christmas” He said
There weren't a lot of hobbits in the first Lord of the Rings books.
They were just Tolkien characters.
Ring
Recently a man had to go to the hospital to have his wedding ring cut off from his penis after his girlfriend found the ring in his pants pocket and got so mad at him she stuck it on him while he was asleep. Which is worse? having your girlfriend find out you're married explaining to your wife how your wedding ring got on your p***s Or finding out your penis fits through your wedding ring
My girlfriend played golf with her friend. She lost the engagement ring I bought her in the tall grass by the fairway...
It was a diamond in the rough.
Credit (not quite the same): Frank and Ernest by Thaves for May 02, 2020
Why doesn't the bell ring at the gym?
Lord Of The Rings Book Reference
I friend told me that the Lord of the Rings was a terrible series
I said "you don't know what you're Tolkien about."
I’ve been trying to start up a fighting ring of dolphins and whales
But that would defeat the whole porpoise.
Pavlov is sitting at the bar, drinking a beer, when suddenly the phone rings. “Oh shit!” he yells, jumping off the stool.
“I forgot to feed the dog!”
My boyfriend gave me a ring on Valentine's day
And he reached my voicemail
I lost my mood ring today.
I don't know I feel about it.
Someone took away my mood ring
I don't know how I feel about it
I just lost my mood ring
I can’t tell you how I feel about it
Somebody stole my mood ring...
I still don't know how I feel about that.
Somebody stole my mood ring.
I just don't know how I feel about that.
i lost my mood ring this morning
i don’t really know how to feel about that
Someone stole my mood ring
I dont know how i feel about that
In case you’re thinking about getting married, consider this carefully—-on the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.
On the other hand, you don’t.
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