Ring...ring...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/D0NW0N
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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I was having problems with the printer at work last week and I had to ring the engineer. I told him that I kept putting paper in to the printer but the display kept saying it just can't get enough...

The engineer said "ah yes.... it's stuck in Depeche Mode"....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bobbylake71
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
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Why did Bilbo Baggins not want to give up the ring?

It was a force of hobbit.

πŸ‘︎ 104
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Suffocatedwallaby
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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Rings some bells
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ha-Ka-Tu
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2020
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I threw an engagement ring at my girlfriend, but she dodged out of the way.

It was a near Mrs.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/leif_hans
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
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The Lord of the Rings official pinball machine doesn’t take quarters.

Only Tolkiens

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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"Mom, does Uranus have rings?"

Just his wedding band.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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I hear that Legolas from the Lord of the Rings had an older brother, but he died before Legolas was born.

His name was Legofirst.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NiteOwlNov
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
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There are 3 rings in a failed marriage:

Engagement ring

Wedding ring

And suffering...

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AesSedai99
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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So I lost my Mood Ring today...

I'm not so sure how I feel about that.

πŸ‘︎ 75
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheUltimaWerewolf
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
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Someone stole my mood ring.

I don't know how to feel about that.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/westtxfun
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
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Why couldn't they ring the jinge bells this holiday season?

Why couldn't they ring the jinge bells this holiday season?

There was noel

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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Where did the duck find it’s ring?

In the quackerjack box.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Josentangles
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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Doctor Doctor! At night in my bed I keep saying lines from The Lord of The Rings

That's ok, you're just Tolkien in your sleep.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yankee9Niner
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
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I heard they’re remaking one of the Lord of the Rings movies, but everyone rides around on bicycles instead of horses.

They’re calling it The Two Tires

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LEGOM3426
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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I lost my mood ring today.

I don't know I feel about it.

πŸ‘︎ 120
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ima420r
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
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I keep reciting all of Lord of The Rings in bed

My wife says I need to do something about Tolkien in my sleep.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vwraider
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
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My buddy said he bought an engagement ring for his girlfriend that is too big.

"That's harsh," I told him, "I think she has a great body."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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Someone took away my mood ring

I don't know how I feel about it

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gladiator_12739
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2020
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I just lost my mood ring

I can’t tell you how I feel about it

πŸ‘︎ 381
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MiggyLT
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2020
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Two lumberjacks were cutting wood. One of them shouted at the other over the noise of the chainsaw, β€œWhat was the name of that tree ring dating app you were using?”

The other replied, β€œTiiiiimmmber!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pippingigi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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Tolkien typed the entire Lord Of The Rings using only two fingers

That must have been Mordor

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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Every time I passed a ring-shaped coral reef with a coral rim that encircles a lagoon, I had to pay a fee...

It was atoll...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
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Somebody stole my mood ring...

I still don't know how I feel about that.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ProGamer14719
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
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Does anyone know who played frodo in Lord of the rings?

I bet Elijah wood know.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nemesisprime1984
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2020
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i lost my mood ring this morning

i don’t really know how to feel about that

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chickablash
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2020
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If you see this car, ring the police. It is stollen.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MisterEd_ak
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2019
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Just bought a diamond ring for the Wife from a green Leprechaun. I dunno...

...Think I was sold a sham rock.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
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In case you’re thinking about getting married, consider this carefullyβ€”-on the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.

On the other hand, you don’t.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2020
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One Carrat Diamond Ring
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Emotional_Plenty
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
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What has wheels and prevents water rings

A roller coaster

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jtnels0
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
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I invented a telephone that doesn't ring.

I got the No-bell prize for it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LurkyTheHatMan
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
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"Do you know that movies about Elves, Dwarves and Hobbits where they try to destroy a ring?"

"You mean The Lord Of The Rings?"

"Yes, that's the one I'm Tolkien about."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
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What do you call slobber on a ring finger?

Droolry

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/m92186
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2020
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Someone stole my mood ring

I dont know how i feel about that

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RVK_WAFFLE
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2020
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Joe gave a girl a ring for Christmas

β€œMarry Christmas” He said

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/therderper123
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
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There weren't a lot of hobbits in the first Lord of the Rings books.

They were just Tolkien characters.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2020
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Ring

Recently a man had to go to the hospital to have his wedding ring cut off from his penis after his girlfriend found the ring in his pants pocket and got so mad at him she stuck it on him while he was asleep. Which is worse? having your girlfriend find out you're married explaining to your wife how your wedding ring got on your p***s Or finding out your penis fits through your wedding ring

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hayeshilton
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend played golf with her friend. She lost the engagement ring I bought her in the tall grass by the fairway...

It was a diamond in the rough.

Credit (not quite the same): Frank and Ernest by Thaves for May 02, 2020

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Why doesn't the bell ring at the gym?

It's a dumb-bell.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wholesome_cream
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
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Lord Of The Rings Book Reference
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MemeMaker_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
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I friend told me that the Lord of the Rings was a terrible series

I said "you don't know what you're Tolkien about."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SilentTempestLord
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
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I’ve been trying to start up a fighting ring of dolphins and whales

But that would defeat the whole porpoise.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Plumsby
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
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Pavlov is sitting at the bar, drinking a beer, when suddenly the phone rings. β€œOh shit!” he yells, jumping off the stool.

β€œI forgot to feed the dog!”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Konamicoder
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2020
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My boyfriend gave me a ring on Valentine's day

And he reached my voicemail

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dummina
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Somebody stole my mood ring.

I just don't know how I feel about that.

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Surabar
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
🚨︎ report
In case you’re thinking about getting married, consider this carefullyβ€”-on the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.

On the other hand, you don’t.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2020
🚨︎ report

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