Why did Bilbo Baggins not want to give up the ring?
It was a force of hobbit.
The Lord of the Rings official pinball machine doesn’t take quarters.
I threw an engagement ring at my girlfriend, but she dodged out of the way.
I hear that Legolas from the Lord of the Rings had an older brother, but he died before Legolas was born.
Why couldn't they ring the jinge bells this holiday season?
Why couldn't they ring the jinge bells this holiday season?
There was noel
Where did the duck find it’s ring?
I heard they’re remaking one of the Lord of the Rings movies, but everyone rides around on bicycles instead of horses.
They’re calling it The Two Tires
Doctor Doctor! At night in my bed I keep saying lines from The Lord of The Rings
That's ok, you're just Tolkien in your sleep.
I keep reciting all of Lord of The Rings in bed
My wife says I need to do something about Tolkien in my sleep.
Two lumberjacks were cutting wood. One of them shouted at the other over the noise of the chainsaw, “What was the name of that tree ring dating app you were using?”
The other replied, “Tiiiiimmmber!”
Tolkien typed the entire Lord Of The Rings using only two fingers
That must have been Mordor
Does anyone know who played frodo in Lord of the rings?
Just bought a diamond ring for the Wife from a green Leprechaun. I dunno...
...Think I was sold a sham rock.
If you see this car, ring the police. It is stollen.
In case you’re thinking about getting married, consider this carefully—-on the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.
On the other hand, you don’t.
There weren't a lot of hobbits in the first Lord of the Rings books.
They were just Tolkien characters.
My girlfriend played golf with her friend. She lost the engagement ring I bought her in the tall grass by the fairway...
It was a diamond in the rough.
Credit (not quite the same): Frank and Ernest by Thaves for May 02, 2020
Why doesn't the bell ring at the gym?
I friend told me that the Lord of the Rings was a terrible series
I said "you don't know what you're Tolkien about."
Lord Of The Rings Book Reference
Pavlov is sitting at the bar, drinking a beer, when suddenly the phone rings. “Oh shit!” he yells, jumping off the stool.
“I forgot to feed the dog!”
You would think the Earth is best, but the moon runs rings around it
The engagement ring is purrfect 💍
Lego Lord of the Rings was a definitive moment for Tolkien fans
Up to that point they had been Legoless
My grandfather has a funny story he likes to tell people about how a long time ago he swallowed his wedding ring and then it came out 10 years later. I've heard him tell it many times over the years.
Waitress at Wimpy asked us if we'd like onion rings or mozzarella sticks 'for the table'
"No thanks, I don't think the table's hungry."
ring, ring...it's the bunn-nana phone!
Every time the doorbell rings, my dog runs and stands in the corner.
A friend and I went into business selling chess sets. During Christmas, we have to both work and ring people up at the register...
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
There's a serious ear condition that dogs can get, it makes their ears ring all the time.
It's called Rin-Tin-Tinnitus
My boss is making me dig through a stack of hay bare-handed to look for anything that shouldn’t be there. I suspect he dropped his wedding ring while having an affair with the new girl he hired in the pile and now he is desperate to hide the evidence from his wife who might be on to him.
But I’m just grasping at straws here.
Phone rings.......Dad: What does the Caller ID say?......Son: It says Private Caller......
Dad: Don't answer it. We only pick up for ranks Lieutenant Caller and higher.
Last night I dreamt I’d written the Lord of the Rings
My wife said to me I was just Tolkien in my sleep.
How does a matador stay safe in the ring?
They wear a bull-proof vest.
The doorbell rings while watching TV with my daughter how is leaving for college in a couple of days
When I got back from the door she asks, “Who was it?”
I said, “It was a pest control company but I told them we didn’t need them because mine is leaving on Monday”
In case you’re thinking about getting married, consider this carefully—-on the one hand, you get to wear a pretty cool ring.
On the other hand, you don’t.
Last night I dreamed I wrote “Lord of the Rings”.
I was Tolkien in my sleep
Always think hard before you get married because on one hand you have a cool ring but on the other hand you don’t
Does the name "Pavlov" ring a bell?
Always think very carefully before getting married. On one hand you get to wear a cool ring, and on the other you don’t.
Every time my doorbell rings, my dog jumps up and stands in the corner.
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