My step mom comin through with the spice girl puns
I think the girl at the Airlines check-in just threatened me.
She looked me dead in the eye and said, “Window or aisle?”
I laughed in her face and replied, “Window or you’ll what?”
I went on a date last night with a girl from the zoo
It was great. She’s a keeper.
Catboy is a boy with cat ears and catgirl is a girl with cat ears
Since I’m neither gender with cat ears, does that make me Nyan-binary?
In an alternate universe, Hercules was a girl.
My son asked, "Dad, every time I talk to girls, I get butterflies in my stomach! What should I do?!" I gently put my arm around him and replied, "That's easy son..."
"Stop eating caterpillars!"
I met a girl with 12 breasts
Sounds strange, Dozen tit?
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
They’re all girls, otherwise they’d be uncles!
I ran into this vegan girl who said she knew me
I had to tell her I'd never met herbivore.
I once knew a girl who married a Chinese.
She had to Chang her last name.
Hey girl!! Are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you everyday.
I made a girl in a wheelchair laugh today.
A girl came into my bookstore and asked "What are the chances you have a book on curing eating disorders with religion?"
Slim to Nun?
(Incidentally this is a true story and I got yelled at)
How do you get a farm girl to marry you?
If a girl is preventing you from reaching your goal....
What do you call a girl in the middle of a tennis court?
A girl asked me if I was antisocial....
I said I don't care if others are social as long as they leave me out of it
Today I asked a hot girl at the gym what her new year's resolution was. She replied “Screw you!”
So I'm pretty excited for the new year!
I once dated two girls called Edith and Kate. Kate found out and told Edith that I was dating both of them at the same time. They both broke up with me on the very same day!
Moral of the story is you can’t have your Kate and Edith too
In college, I used to live on a houseboat, and started dating the girl next door.
Eventually we drifted apart.
Why are boy keyboards scared of girl keyboards?
They don’t want to get qwerties.
What did the father say to his trans girl child?
It has been scientifically proven that girls reach the age of puberty earlier than boys. Girls develop boobies around the age of thirteen...
...and boys develop them around the age of forty…
If girls with big boobs work at Hooters where do girls with only one leg work?
Why do white girls travel in odd number groups?
Cuz they literally can’t even
Why do girls rub their eyes after they wake up?
Because they have no balls to scratch!
Girls with a passion for eating fashion
How do you get a country girl’s attention?
A Girl takes a pregnancy test, mortified, she looks her boyfriend, dead in the eyes, and says...
So the doctor sat me down and gently revealed to me me that my child is a boy trapped in a girls body...
...Until my wife gives birth that is. Only three more months to go!
The little girl lined her dolls up at the cookout.
Recent studies have shown that roughly 80% of goth girls in our country's high schools enjoy reading parenting magazines.
Strangely enough, they mostly only read the daddy issues.
Which Spice Girl can carry the most petrol?
I finally went to talk to the super cute girl who works in the Egyptian super market.
Her: What can I do for you?
Me: I'm looking for a date.
Her: Oh, what kind of dates?
Me: Uhmm, just dinner and a movie :)
I always wanted my sister to have a son that I could pass on my wisdom to, but I'm so happy she had her little girl, Denise.
Because a kid named Denephew would probably get picked on a lot.
How do we know all ants are girls?
Because if they were boys and we’d call them uncles.
So a blonde girl is deciding to be a videogame Youtuber....
After she makes and edits her video she starts to take pictures of her hands. Her mom walks by seeing this and asks "Why are you taking so many pictures of your thumbs?". The blond girl replies " If you want people to watch your YouTube videos you gotta have great thumbnail pictures."
Thai girls are like a box of chocolates....
You never know which ones have the nuts.
I asked a girl for her hand. She thinks I'm nuts.
A girl on Tinder told me she wanted to be friends with benefits.
But I don't have health insurance or a retirement plan so I told her I couldn't.
The deaf girl didn’t show up to her court case yesterday
What happened when the girl didn’t pay her exorcist
I was dating a girl with a wooden leg
Whats the difference between girls/women aged 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68 and 78
At 8. You take her to bed and tell her a story.
At 18. You tell her a story and take her to bed.
At 28. You don't need to tell her a story to take her to bed.
At 38. She tells you a story and takes you to bed.
At 48. She tells you a story to avoid going to bed.
At 58. You stay in bed to avoid her story.
At 68. If you take her to bed, that will be a story.
At 78. What story??? What bed??? Who the hell are you ???
I once met a girl with 12 breasts. It sounds strange...
I went on a blind date with a vegan girl.
It has been scientifically proven that girls reach the age of puberty earlier than boys…
Girls develop tits around the age of thirteen, boys develop them around the age of forty…
My son asked, "Dad, every time I talk to girls, I get butterflies in my stomach! What should I do?!" I gently put my arm around him and replied, "That's easy son..."
"Stop eating caterpillars!"
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