My step mom comin through with the spice girl puns
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hayleygrus
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2018
🚨︎ report
A girl came into my bookstore and asked "What are the chances you have a book on curing eating disorders with religion?"

Slim to Nun?

(Incidentally this is a true story and I got yelled at)

πŸ‘︎ 27k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/megad1rt
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18
🚨︎ report
How do you get a farm girl to marry you?

First, a tractor.

πŸ‘︎ 19k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/asiers
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15
🚨︎ report
So the doctor sat me down and gently revealed to me me that my child is a boy trapped in a girls body...

...Until my wife gives birth that is. Only three more months to go!

πŸ‘︎ 14k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RealTheAsh
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22
🚨︎ report
My son asked, "Dad, every time I talk to girls, I get butterflies in my stomach! What should I do?!" I gently put my arm around him and replied, "That's easy son..."

"Stop eating caterpillars!"

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03
🚨︎ report
The deaf girl didn’t show up to her court case yesterday

She lost her hearing.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EyeSayAye
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18
🚨︎ report
My three year old girl asked me, "Where does poo come from?" I was a little uncomfortable but decided to give her an honest explanation, so I explained, "You just ate breakfast, yes?"

"Yes." she replied.

"Well, the food goes into our tummies and our bodies take out all the good stuff, then whatever is left over, comes out of our bottoms when we go to the toilet! And that, is poo!"

She looked a little perplexed, stared at me in stunned silence for a few seconds and asked, "And Tigger?"

πŸ‘︎ 93
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19
🚨︎ report
What do you call a girl who refuses to pay her bills?

Burnadebt

(Just thought of this and I gotta admit...I'm a little bit proud of myself.)

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zipflop
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13
🚨︎ report
A girl told me to take off her shirt and skirt

Then she told me to take off her heels and bra, then she told me to take her panties off. And then she told me to stop wearing her clothes

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yuri-123
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18
🚨︎ report
In college, I used to live on a houseboat, and started seeing the girl next door.

Eventually we drifted apart.

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11
🚨︎ report
I used to date a girl who was lactose intolerant.

We broke up because she couldn’t stomach my cheesy jokes.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Timallne
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10
🚨︎ report
A friend set me up on a blind date. He said "She's a lovely girl, but there's something you should know. She's expecting a baby"

I felt like a right idiot sitting in a bar wearing nothing but a diaper.

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13
🚨︎ report
What kind of girl is creamy and keeps you up all night?

A coffee mate

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11
🚨︎ report
Medusa was the hottest girl ever

One look and you're hard forever.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ScocoPope
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15
🚨︎ report
What’s a sorority girl’s favorite coffee drink?

A Kappa-ccino.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MoodyToaster
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13
🚨︎ report
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?

They are all girls, otherwise they'd be uncles!

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hypeaze
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30
🚨︎ report
How do you get a country girl’s attention?

A tractor.

πŸ‘︎ 154
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lora_Gev
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02
🚨︎ report
Rick Harris hooked up with this girl using his brother Neil's pick-up line...

The questions is, will Neil Patrick Harris on the back?

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20
🚨︎ report
More stock photo puns from this silly siteπŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒ Is that the girl from distracted boyfriend?
πŸ‘︎ 126
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hilloviikot
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11
🚨︎ report
Today i got asked out by 6 girls

I was in the women's bathroom.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BlackPawKiaw
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01
🚨︎ report
Grandma texted to say my cousin named her baby girl Hadison.
πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Fishbulb77
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21
🚨︎ report
What do you call a bunch of girls addicted to cocaine?

The powderpuff girls

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PM_ME_UR_FLOOR
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13
🚨︎ report
Met a lovely korean girl....

Shes my seoulmate

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mdchris19
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14
🚨︎ report
I met a girl on Reddit and it ended in Pokemon puns

A few days ago I met a really cool girl on Reddit and then this happened. I asked and she is ok with me sharing it.

Puns here: https://imgur.com/a/8BOsNgn

Forgive my spelling but it was like 6am

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Patis12
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26
🚨︎ report
I felt really sad when I saw a girl on TV crying and saying, β€œI Miss America!”

Then someone corrected her grammar and gave her a sash and a tiara.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14
🚨︎ report
There was a girl I work with named Novalee, and one day I asked her how her name was spelled.

She looked at me and said, β€œGuess.” I responded with, β€œWow! That’s NOTHING like how it’s spelled!” And from that moment on I would only call her Guess.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBatJ3w
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19
🚨︎ report
How do you pick up a country girl?

A tractor

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/marblechocolate
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14
🚨︎ report
My dad always told me, β€œFind a girl with an embarrassing tattoo and try to convince her to marry you.”

She knows how to make a bad decision and still stick with it.

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28
🚨︎ report
If girls with big boobs work at The Hooters, where do the girls with only one leg work?

IHOP

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/s1_amit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20
🚨︎ report
Today twenty girls asked me to go out.

Anyway, the girls bathroom at work is waay nicer then the boys one.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/burping_purple
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12
🚨︎ report
I want to tell you about a girl who only eats plants.

You've probably never heard of herbivore.

πŸ‘︎ 47
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dulfuckyourself
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17
🚨︎ report
What do you get when playing football as well as when asking a girl out?

A hard pass.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kable1202
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31
🚨︎ report
Australia’s recovery from Covid-19 is a bit like a Spice Girls reunion

Victoria ruins it for everyone

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/3Gums
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30
🚨︎ report
What do you call a hot Indian girl?

Bomb Bae

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/khanzunair
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02
🚨︎ report
"Dad, what's it called if I like both boys and girls," the male buffalo said.

"I believe would be a bi-son," his father replied.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03
🚨︎ report
I once slept with a girl I met during a festival, but we didn’t utter a word to each other before, during or after.

And I must say, it made it rather in-tents.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/archiewalton09
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27
🚨︎ report
A guy asks a girl to go to a dance.

She agrees, and he decides to rent a suit. The rental has a long line, so he waits and waits, and finally, he gets his suit. HeΒ decides to buy flowers, so he goesΒ to the flower shop. The flower shopΒ has a long line, so he waits and waits, untilΒ he finally buys flowers. He picks up the girlΒ and they go to the dance. There is a long lineΒ into the dance, so they wait and wait. Finally,Β they get into the dance, and the guy offersΒ to get the girl a drink. She asks for punch,Β so he goes to the drink table, and there isΒ no punch line.

πŸ‘︎ 53
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LucianoMercuri__
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24
🚨︎ report
A boy leaned over to steal a kiss from his girl, but she was leaning over to steal a kiss at the same time.

They both made out like bandits.

πŸ‘︎ 74
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lfantine
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02
🚨︎ report
Why do white girls always travel in odd numbers?

Because they can't even.

πŸ‘︎ 118
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SlytherRedd
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20
🚨︎ report
A Girl takes a Pregnancy Test, then looks her Boyfriend dead in the eyes and says:

Your Kid in Me

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24
🚨︎ report
I tried learning about all the different kinds of aircraft but I quickly found out girls didn’t like that basic personality trait

They thought I was such a plane guy

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notmyname3623
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05
🚨︎ report
Restaurant messed up and gave me a garden salad instead of a Caesar salad. When I complained my little girl said,

β€œDad, any salad can be a Caesar salad. You just have to stab it enough times”.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/loonmaster2
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07
🚨︎ report
I once went on a date with this lovely girl. I told her that I loved how bubbly she was. For some reason, she broke up with me the next day.

I saw her again 10 years later, and almost couldn't recognise her because she had become so beautiful. Turns out she thought I'd said that I loved how blubbery she was.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/randomreader5371
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30
🚨︎ report
Asian girls don’t poop...

...they take dumplings.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/simmsnation
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15
🚨︎ report
Why did the girl fall in the well?

She didn't see that well.

πŸ‘︎ 122
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/InterwebWeasel
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08
🚨︎ report
How do u seduce a farm girl?

A tractor

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Xzander3112
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11
🚨︎ report
When a girl gets married...

...she is dis-miss-ed.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18
🚨︎ report
Why do teenage girls only hang around in groups of odd numbers?

Because OMG they can’t even.

πŸ‘︎ 499
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rob_Haggis
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13
🚨︎ report
My wife was surprisingly happy when she found out I was sleeping with another girl

Our daughter was happy she was okay with it as well

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ May 28
🚨︎ report
Why was the Amish girl excommunicated?

Too Mennonite

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cottleston
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13
🚨︎ report
I asked a German girl for her number and I'm still waiting for the rest of the numbers

So far all I have is 9.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06
🚨︎ report
Hey girl are you HTTP?

Because you're really insecure

πŸ‘︎ 188
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/insane_playzYT
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18
🚨︎ report
What's the most honest girl's name?

Natalie

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Trev2-D2
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18
🚨︎ report
I used to go out with a girl who was a medium, a clairvoyant and a psychic.

I broke it off because she said she was seeing other people all the time.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26
🚨︎ report
I stole this girl's heart

I was arrested shortly after for murder

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mystic_Frost69
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03
🚨︎ report
What do you call a girl who can't lie?

Polly Graff

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Datolite7
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30
🚨︎ report
My 6yo girl: our Shih-Tzu never tells the truth

Because he’s a lyin’ dog...

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/assafstone
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
🚨︎ report
What do you call a prehistoric cat girl?

A Nyanderthal!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/itsmoeyo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28
🚨︎ report
Why did the little girl fall off the swing

She had no arms

  • The joke was originally told by Ricky Gervais, thought it was very funny
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/liverpool135
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't anyone understand the little girl?

She was miss communication.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JumpyTheElephant
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27
🚨︎ report
Why do teenage girls always walk in odd numbers

Cuz they like can’t even

πŸ‘︎ 80
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nikolas306736
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20
🚨︎ report
Currently outside with my girls.

2 year old was running and a bee started flying across her path. She stopped, pointed at it and made a semi distressed, "uuh uuh!" sound. I told her, "You're ok .....just let it bee."

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Superj89
πŸ“…︎ May 24
🚨︎ report
Why would Regina George and her Mean Girls be lousy dog owners?

Because fetch is never going to happen

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Curmudgeon4life
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25
🚨︎ report
It is just a pun, girl!
πŸ‘︎ 73
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MShafiS
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28
🚨︎ report
I was talking to a girl that had alot on her chest...

... she said it was good to talk abou tit

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ismailizhere
πŸ“…︎ May 23
🚨︎ report
What do you call a south American girl that's always in a hurry?

An urgent tina

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/masesarkidd
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17
🚨︎ report
A girl opened a studio called TatTat. When asked what the name meant, she replied...

It's a tat 2 studio

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nikhilbhavsar
πŸ“…︎ May 18
🚨︎ report
I always liked those spice girls back in the 90s. What were their names again?

Oh yeah, Salt-N-Pepa

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zachpledger
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17
🚨︎ report
Every time I visit my Dad in St. Louis, he walks into the room looking depressed until whatever girl I've brought home for the holidays asks what's wrong...

His reply: "Oh, I live in a state of Missouri."

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SoDakZak
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03
🚨︎ report
A girl at the furniture store keeps calling me.

All I wanted was one night stand

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ May 05
🚨︎ report
I want to tell you all about a girl that only ate plants.

You've probably never heard of herbivore.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mcsweepin
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
We have a girl named Zara on our team...
πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kitkat_narwhal
πŸ“…︎ May 09
🚨︎ report
What do you call a girl who is thirsty for water?

An H2Hoe

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chandan_2294
πŸ“…︎ May 29
🚨︎ report
A teenage girl came across an elderly man sitting next to his radio, tapping his cane to a Lil Wayne song.

"Wow! I didn't think you'd like rap music!"

"I didn't, either," the old man replied. "It all started after my hip op".

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kleefband
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18
🚨︎ report
There's a vegan girl over there

Are you sure you haven't met herbivore?

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Guy__East
πŸ“…︎ May 25
🚨︎ report
Oh look, The diction-fairy (never judge a girl by her cover) XD
πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Yugvijay
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23
🚨︎ report
How does Darth Vader like his girls?

On the dark side...

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/serendipity_7
πŸ“…︎ May 12
🚨︎ report
Why did the girl blush when she opened the refrigerator?

She saw the salad dressing

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Aplay1
πŸ“…︎ May 16
🚨︎ report
Some girl just tried to chat me up by telling me how much potassium, on average, is in a banana.

I just sat there like, K.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/paramedork
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18
🚨︎ report
Warned my son about the dangers of drugs today. Told him a story about a girl I knew who went crazy from doing mushrooms all the time. Surprised, he asked, "Really?" I replied, "Yes, absolutely true."

"She became a little spore addict."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 22
🚨︎ report
I told this girl I was talking to that I like to race cars, she asked me if I win often

I said no, the cars are much faster

πŸ‘︎ 480
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/arnowhite
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21
🚨︎ report
I proclaimed to my wife that the world does not revolve around our little girl. Perturbed, she shot back, "Why on Earth would you ever say that!?" I explained, "Well, it's really quite simple you see, she's our daughter..."

"...not our Sun."

πŸ‘︎ 54
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 16
🚨︎ report
At a rock concert one time, I saw a girl with a gold spiked necklace.

I thought β€œwow, that’s pretty metal.”

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
🚨︎ report
I just saw my friend sweep a girl off her feet.

He’s a really aggressive janitor.

πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29
🚨︎ report
I once fell in love with a girl that only knew 4 vowels.

Unfortunately she didn't know I existed.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/revolut1onname
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21
🚨︎ report
Why do teenage girls always walk around in odd numbered groups?

Because they can't even.

πŸ‘︎ 358
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Clbull
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15
🚨︎ report
I took my 8-year old girl to the office with me on, "Take Your Kid to Work Day." As we were walking around the office, she starting crying and getting very cranky, so I asked what was wrong with her.

As my coworkers gathered round, she sobbed loudly, "Daddy, where are all the clowns that you said that you worked with?!"

πŸ‘︎ 26k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
🚨︎ report
A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot. One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach pretty much every day.

She wasn’t unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing. She would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around, then speak to them.

Generally, the people would respond negatively and she would wander off, but occasionally someone would nod and there would be a quick exchange of money for something she carried in her bag.

The couple assumed she was selling drugs and debated calling the cops, but since they didn’t know for sure they just continued to watch her.

After a couple of weeks the wife asked, β€œHoney, have you ever noticed that she only goes up to people with boom boxes and other electronic devices?”

He hadn’t and said so. Then she said, β€œTomorrow I want you to get a towel and our big radio and go lie out on the beach. Then we can find out what she’s really doing.”

Well, the plan went off without a hitch, and the wife was almost hopping up and down with anticipation when she saw the girl talk to her husband and then leave. The man walk

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AustralianGroan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16
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