What do you call a male milk maid?

An utter gentleman.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/keyrover
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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Full blown MAIDS.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/uspostman
πŸ“…︎ Aug 09 2020
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Real house cleaners aren’t just born their maid
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AMswag123
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
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Maid Got Fired

I hired a new maid last year but she wasn’t doing a great job. I called her into the study and told that I was sorry but I was going to have to let her go. I tipped her an extra $20 and thanked her for her services. As she was leaving she threw a $10 bill to our dog, Lucy. I asked her, β€œWhat was that for?" She replied, β€œCan’t forget my helper! Lucy has a great tongue, and always helped me do the dishes!!!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/specklesinc
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
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Just saw an interesting communications job at Minute Maid

They are looking for someone to do their press releases

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Grechoir
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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Mom was a milk maid and dad worked the meat grinder at the local butcher. When they got married they took their vows very seriously.

They really meant it was for butter or for wurst.

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
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I suspect my maid is stealing money from my drawer, but she won’t admit to it.

I just want her to come clean.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2020
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This maid my day.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMyth007
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2018
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My ex divorced me because she said I treated her like a maid.

But even the judge thought she should keep the house.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stevehrowe2
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2019
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How's a druggie like Mike Tyson in a maid's outfit?

They'll both clean up your meth.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/derleth
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2016
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What do you call a maid who does not get paid on time ?

Mad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/music_snobbbb
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2018
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I think my maid stole money from my drawer...

I just want her to come clean.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/heyimchandler
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2015
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Why didn't the Rabbi like Minute Maid?

It contains acidic juice.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/3ncryption
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2017
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My dad demands an "upstairs maid" for my parents' one story house.

He says it's only fair since Mom has a pool boy.

...Neither of these things are true. He says this all the time. Pls help.

Edit: They don't have a pool either.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/attacktheblock
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2013
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When I was in college, my roommate used to clean my room, and I used to clean his.

We were maid for each other.

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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What do you call a man when he has good manners, bad hygiene, and an affinity for word play.

Pungent.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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I cook my food by myself, wash my dishes by myself, and tidy my house myself.

One can say that I am 'self-maid'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zilver-alpha
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
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What do you call a butler in the mafia?

A maid man.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/flccncnhlplfctn
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
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When I was in college, my roommate and I would clean each other's rooms

We were maid for each other

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_joshi_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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A secretary cut the elastic band used for my physiotherapy

She multitasks as a Rubber maid

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ciaboom
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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True house cleaners aren't just born...

...they're maid...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
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My roomate and i did this game where we cleaned up another ones room everyday.

We were maid for each other.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MladjaLlama
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2020
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I used to have a room mate. I would clean his room and he would clean mine

We were maid for eachother

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πŸ‘€︎ u/x_Parzival_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
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Made for each other.

Sara cleaned Megan's house. Megan cleaned Sara's house. They are Maid for each other.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/killer_basu
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
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I thought my new girlfriend might be the one.

But after looking through her knicker drawer and finding a nurse's outfit, a French maids outfit, and a police woman's uniform, I finally decided: if she can't hold down a job, she's not for me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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In college, my roommate used to do my laundry, and I used to do his.

We were maid for each other.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
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What do you all a cleaning lady with more post karma than you?

A maid with mematic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TennisADHD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2020
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True house cleaners aren't just born to serve

They're maid to serve.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAverageAlpha
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
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A clown bets an old man $100 he can make him laugh. Man says "Sure, it won't happen"

Clown asks: "What do you call someone posing as a fake Italian chef? An im-pasta"

Man doesn't laugh

Clown asks: "What do you get when you cross a tiger and a bear? A tiger and a bear seeking revenge."

No response

Clown asks: "Which super hero asks the most questions? Wonder Woman"

Nothing

Clown asks: "Have you heard of the baseball team the Chicago Hot Dogs? They are the wurst"

Doesn't crack a smile

Clown asks: "Why was the alcoholic so annoying? He wined too much"

Clown starts to get nervous

Clown asks: "The disinterested hockey player got a penalty. What was it? Boarding"

Blank look

Clown asks: "What is a nun's favorite card game? Old Maid"

Yawn

Clown asks: "How do crustaceans celebrate birthdays? With crab cakes"

Annoyed

Clown asks: "What do you call a champion deer? A Win-doe"

grasping at straws

Finally Clown asks: "How do sheep sleep when they have nightmares? Baaaaadly"

He never laughs. Clown gives him his $100 and asks "Did any of my jokes make you laugh?"

Man says "No pun-in-ten-did"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Scoob1978
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2019
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I know a woman who has committed herself to cleaning other peoples’ homes indefinitely, and makes a hell of a lot of money for it.

She’s maid for life.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KubaKomorebi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
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Was Robin Hood a good boyfriend?

Yeah, he Maid Marian happy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Locath13
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2019
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My husband, new dad of 8 months, is kicking off his dad joke game strong.

We had a cleaning service come to the house today, called Two Maids and a Mop. Well, three maids showed up and my dumb husband goes, β€œwhich one of you is the mop?”

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2018
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My roommate cleans my room and I clean hers.

Guess we are "maid for each other".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nocturnal_shit
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2018
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What do you call a housekeeper in Beijing?

Maid in China!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Crimsonae
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2018
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Which one of your servants is always sticking to the roof of your mansion?

Peanut butler

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πŸ‘€︎ u/superpond
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2012
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Dad's favorite joke is coming to an end. Its kinda long.

What you need to know: We have a grocery store called Dominick's.

Artie and Dominick grew up in the same neighborhood and were best friends. But after highschool, they parted ways.

20 years later, they bump into each other on the street and the friends have a happy reunion. They talk about their lives after they left their old neighborhood. Dominick is a very wealthy lawyer and Artie is a mobster. Artie turns to Dominick and says "If you need anything at all, I'll get it for ya. Just ask."

Dominick :Well there is one thing... Artie: Anything. Dominick: Well I can't stand my wife. Could you get rid of her? Artie: Of course! Dominick: Wait! You're my friend, I gotta pay you for this. Artie: I can't take your money. Dominick: I have to give you something! Artie: Fine, give me a dollar.

So Dominick hands him a dollar and tells Artie when he'll be at work. The next day, Artie slips into the house and strangles the wife but as soon as her body hits the ground, the maid walks in. So Artie strangles her too, but as soon as her body hits the ground, the butler walks in. Artie strangles the butler and then the police burst in.

The next day in the papers, the head line reads: "Artie Chokes Three for a Dollar at Dominick's"

The end. My dad was saying the other day he won't be able to tell that joke anymore because Dominick's (the store) is closing where we live.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheInvizible
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2014
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Watching Disney's Robin Hood with my kids...

Boy, that Maid Marian sure is a FOXY lady!

πŸ‘︎ 36
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BrainRadio
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2013
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What's Robin Hoods girlfriend called?

A teacher asks her class "Can anyone tell me the name of Robin Hood's girlfriend?"

Little Paddy raises his hand and says "Yes Miss, it's Trudy Glen."

"No Paddy, the answer is Maid Marion."

"But Miss, what about the song? Robin Hood, Robin Hood, riding Trudy Glen."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aontroim
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2015
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Man hires his best friend, Arty, to knock off his wife.

Arty, a professional hit man, will only let his friend pay him a dollar for the job. Professional courtesy. Arty strangles the wife, but both the maid and butler hear the commotion and come barging into the room. Arty has to take care of them as well, but by the time he's done, the cops have arrived and he is arrested.

The news reports the next morning:

"Arty Chokes 3 for a Dollar."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vegtosterone
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2015
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When I was in college my roommate used to clean my room and I used to clean his

We were maid for each other

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/farrukhsshah
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
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When I was in college, my roommate used to clean my room, and I used to clean his.

We were maid for each other.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
🚨︎ report
When I was in college, my roommate used to clean my room, and I used to clean his.

We were maid for each other.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
🚨︎ report
True house cleaners aren't just born

They're maid

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
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When I was in college, my roommate used to clean my room, and I used to clean his.

We were maid for each other.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2020
🚨︎ report

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