A priest, a pastor and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood. Nurse asked the rabbit what his blood type is

He replied " I am probably a Type O"

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tomatosoup91
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18
🚨︎ report
A pastor, a priest, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank, and the nurse asks what blood type they are.

The rabbit says, β€œI’m probably a Type-O”

πŸ‘︎ 615
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rmath12
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16
🚨︎ report
The nurse at the sperm bank asked if I wanted to masturbate in the cup

I replied: I know I am pretty good, but I don’t think I’m ready to compete just yet

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JayCola93
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27
🚨︎ report
A priest, A Baptist minister, and a rabbit go into a red cross to donate blood. The nurse asks "What is your blood type"?

The rabbit says "I think I'm a type O"

πŸ‘︎ 306
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheMeeme
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06
🚨︎ report
We grew up SO POOR I drank Nurse Pepper...

...she was an LPN.

We had a Don't Bother Checking account.

My first pet only had 3 legs, and it was a centipede.

Mom had one bra, and it was a lease.

For breakfast we ate Lieutenant Crunch.

My first spoon was monogrammed though ("1/2 TSP").

We were too poor to even say "awesome." We had to say "awefew."

We sat at the campfire and made S'Lesses.

My pillow only had one side.

Repossession was 9/10 of the law.

Five kids had to share one shoelace, and instead of toenails we grew toe staples.

Our scotch tape was scots-irish.

(I'm allowed)

My first shower came with sound effects and a lightshow.

One year Santa had to bring stockings.

The next year he filled them with nooses.

I did have a jumprope with a rattle on the end. And fangs on the other.

Other kids hunted eggs for Easter but we just died.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PM_YOUR_BLOOMERS
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01
🚨︎ report
Nurse: Here is the list of heart, liver and kidney donors arranged in alphabetical order.

Doctor: Thank you. It is very organ-ized.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VeryLastBison
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30
🚨︎ report
True story: I was visiting my wife in the hospital but the room didn't have a bed to lay down in so I laid down on the floor since I was tired. The nurse came in and asked "having a good time down there"?

I said "oh yeah. I'm just floored".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fireburner80
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14
🚨︎ report
A toothless old lady in hospital always gave away the peanuts she was given by her visitors to the nurses to eat.

One day a nurse asked her why she didn't ask for grapes instead of nuts.She replied that you can't get grapes with chocolate coating!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/glezgatoon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16
🚨︎ report
After getting my first vaccine I asked the nurse what super power do I get, but she just looked straight through me.

Looks like I might have invisibility!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EnglustPoet
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06
🚨︎ report
Lynn's nurse at the vaccination centre recently qualified for a sport in the Tokyo Olympics. What sport is it?

Javelin

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shreya_shree
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24
🚨︎ report
Why did the nurse need a red pen at work?

In case she needed to draw some blood

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πŸ‘€︎ u/90eight
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20
🚨︎ report
The nurse tells the doctor: "There's an invisible man in the waiting room."

The doctor replies: "Tell him I can't see him now."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/a_L_v_e_S
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04
🚨︎ report
Do you ever wonder if a cow thinks her calf who won't nurse.....

Is an utter disappointment?

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 31
🚨︎ report
Why do a lot of nurses go to college at the North Pole?

It’s where the Icy U is

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAnim8or
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
🚨︎ report
When my son was born, I was struggling to come up with a name, so I asked a nurse for a cuppa tea...

When she got back, I asked how warm it is. She replied back with "Luke warm". And that is how earl gray got his name. (Not sure if this one is a dad joke)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/peppapig34
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22
🚨︎ report
Well, I got my vaccine today but the nurse put it in the top of my leg.

Pfizer killing me now

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SadistaMac
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26
🚨︎ report
When I woke up from an operation, the nurse leaned over and said, "You may not feel anything from the waist down."

So I fondled her boobs.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05
🚨︎ report
So the nurse brought the proctologist a can of beer.

β€œNo!”, said the doctor. β€œI wanted a butt light.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SpecOpsAlpha
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17
🚨︎ report
Want to know why nurses like red crayons?

Sometimes they have to draw blood.

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
🚨︎ report
A doctor is giving medical treatment when a nurse comes in saying that they need the doctor in another room. The nurse told the guy getting medical treatment to wait.

He waited patiently.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/noqms
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09
🚨︎ report
Nurse: Sorry for the waiting

My dad: No problem, I'm patient

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jacobwyc
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Nurse this!
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/00eleven
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
🚨︎ report
The nurse was eating a corn

The physician was eating a comd

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πŸ‘€︎ u/luispe94
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
🚨︎ report
The nurse made my heart skip a beat

It was fine after she plugged the life support back in.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jubulus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the nurse get second chair in the symphony?

Because they were a Band-Aid

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anakin_I_am_on_PC
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
🚨︎ report
How does a nurse greet a mother about to give birth?

Labor & delivery at your cervix!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeeSeaBayBee
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I found out why nurses carry red crayons

In case they have to draw blood.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/33billings
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2019
🚨︎ report
Nurses in the maternity ward don’t want babies to be in shock by the temperature change when they’re born.

So they make sure it’s set at womb temperature.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ggfchl
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Nurse: A patient named Stephen has come into the hospital with acidosis (meaning their blood has become too acidic)

Doctor: Stephen with a "ph"?

Nurse: Yes, a low one.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do nurses love red crayons so much?

Because sometimes they have to draw blood.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/uhavethebiggay
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
A nurse looks in her pocket, and finds a rectal thermometer.

She says, in exasperation, β€œsome arsehole’s got my pen.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LTAD2108
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I truly am a monster. My partner is a nurse for context.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Salamirelish
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
🚨︎ report
Nurse: Sorry for waiting

14 year old son: don’t worry, I’m patient.

Me: proudly crying.

Nurse: Hi patient, I’m nurse

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BorreVdm
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I found out why nurses carry red crayons -

In case they have to draw blood.

πŸ‘︎ 190
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sierrasport
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I recently found out that it’s mandatory for all nurses to carry a red crayon with them.

Just in case they have to draw blood

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πŸ‘€︎ u/daytripper1902
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Nurse: Sorry For Making You Have To Wait

Dad: No Problem, I'm Patient

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LavaWolf800
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
After waiting for an hour at the doctor's office the nurse came by and said sorry for the wait...

To which I replied, "No problem, I'm patient."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hypeaze
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Nurse : Sorry for the wait

Don't worry, i'm patient.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlackPawKiaw
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
🚨︎ report
Nurse and dad

Nurse: apologies for making you wait

Dad: no problem, I am patient

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πŸ‘€︎ u/how2crtaccount
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2020
🚨︎ report
The nurse just told me that they can no longer perform the transplant.

My surgeon wanted to tell me, but he didn't have the heart.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheOriginalGPS
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2020
🚨︎ report
An angry Air Force Registered Nurse is mad AF RN.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mcdj
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
🚨︎ report
With a pandemic happening, I said to my nurse friend: "Stay safe!"

Their response: β€œYou, too; stay negative!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarisaberry
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
🚨︎ report
why do nurses like red crayons?

Sometimes they have to draw blood.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do nurses like red crayons?

Sometimes they have to draw blood

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MangoAway17
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Want to know why nurses like red crayons

Sometimes they have to draw blood.

πŸ‘︎ 60
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LucianoMercuri__
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
🚨︎ report

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