Hats off to all the doctors and health care professionals
πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ‘€︎ u/Harami_nobita
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Now that I have more time, I’ve decided to take care of my health and eat a more balanced diet.

I haven’t dropped any food so far!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/StCecilia98
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What do alcoholic sing when they don't care about their health?

Liver let die

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2019
🚨︎ report
Serious question about the Universal Canadian health care...

Does it cover poutine check ups?

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ‘€︎ u/aquatrout
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2018
🚨︎ report
I hear Trump's really russian to pass that health care bill
πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2017
🚨︎ report
Mental health hotline.

Hello, welcome to the mental health hotline.

If you have obsessive compulsive disorder, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personality syndrome, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.

If you suffer from paranoid schizophrenia, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mothership.

If you are hearing voices, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which button you press. No one will answer anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696.

If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound button until a representative comes on the line.

If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's and grandmother's maiden names.

If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 911.

If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep. Or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short term memory loss, please try you call again in a few minutes.

If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our representatives are busy.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
🚨︎ report
While I joined the Army and started a family, my brother Samuel became a doctor. After one of his patients died, my kids asked him what happened.

He told them, "Sorry, Uncle Sam's health care isn't the best."

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ‘€︎ u/problematikUAV
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I just committed a murder

Those crows are finally getting the mental health care they so desperately needed

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ‘€︎ u/thkoog
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2019
🚨︎ report
My favorite patient

I work in an urgent care center. A patient signed in for a stuffy nose for 2 days. They asked how long the wait was and I said about 15 mins, the person rolled their eyes and walked out. I let the physician know that they walked out. She said "That's always good for their health" I said "Well they were my favorite kind of patient."

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ‘€︎ u/simplesn
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2015
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.