I can't imagine the Pierre pressure it would cause...
Because they're nurse assists.
JoeCare.
planetary healthcare?
All bums will be able to get colonoscopies.
A hippocritic oaf.
You’re gonna pay for that
Eh, I guess it couldn't hurt to tell you.
An end-user learning a new system wanting to initiate an outgoing letter to a patient: "How do I start a letter?"
Me: "Usually with 'Dear Sir or Madam...'"
Im in a healthcare program and im really tall. Tall enough that almost no beds ever can fit my entire body on them. I was the "patient" for an assignment we are working on and the bed came up just short of my ankles. They were standing around me so I pointed to my feet and said "Hey look, i'm hanging two feet over the edge!" It took them a second to get it but there were groans all around.
We use these red sliding sheets to help transfer patients from the operating table to their trolley (they're widely used in hospitals and care environments for various patient manual handling tasks). For those who are unfamiliar, it's basically a double layered, frictionless sheet you position under the patient in order (theoretically) to transfer them with minimal force and effort.
One particular colleague hates them, and today ranted:
"I would love to punch the guy who invented these and has probably made millions of pounds and retired"
To which someone immediately responded:
"I bet he's a right slippery character though".
Dr. Acula
To which I told them I worked in healthcare. When they looked confused by my response I explained that I know how to a minister medication.
It was my entire life savings,
It's a good job I'm French, otherwise I'd have to pay healthcare...
In my opinion we should beat the shit out of constipated people because:
-
Laxatives are an unhealthy way of dealing with feces. On the other hand, beating the shit out of someone is a good way to practice sports activities like, running, grip strength, punching techniques etc.
-
Other methods of dealing with feces take alot of money. Laxatives aren't cheap in our flawed healthcare system! On the other hand, there are people that are willing to pay you to beat the shit out of you. By using this method you can become richer and deal with your shitty problems.
-
Constipation requires being in the bathroom for a long time. This can be very lonely for the people involved. However, beating the shit out of others can be done in any place. Your home, the local park, or even the shady street corner! Not only that it's a very social activity, requiring a minimum of at least 2 people, but usually done in groups of 2-5 people.
Although some people might say, that beating the shit out of each other is violent, most of them have never been to a public toilet and hence are unable to realize how much more painful and violent the alternative is.
In summery, beating the shit out of people is a good, legitimate, and affordable alternative to laxatives and is a better, more progressive way, to deal with constipation.
Talking about the expensive healthcare
Dad "you need to change your major to become a doctor".
Me "I don't have the patience for that".
Dad "you would if you became a doctor".
Facepalm.
So there I was in the process of helping him walk back to his room. During the walk I happen to look over and he is grimacing in pain with a look of disgust. As a worried healthcare provider, I ask him,
"Patient, you look like you're in pain, how do you feel"?
Without skipping a beat, he looks up into my eyes and with a trembling voice through the pain he replies..
"with my hands"
I was taken aback, not realizing what had just happened to me. He then smiled and startled to chuckle, and only then did I realize I had just been had by a dad and started to laugh myself.
At a big family get together, 30+ people all around a big table eating lunch and my dad asks the whereabouts of his sister. My uncle says she's had to go to the vets, to which he replies:
" Could she not afford a doctor!?"
The simultaneous groans were amazing, and he had the biggest grin on his face!
However seeing as we have "free" healthcare here in the UK, it doesn't really make too much sense, but we let him have his moment
