The head veterinarian at a zoo noticed something alarming in a patient’s record. A monkey that had been a healthy weight at its last checkup was now recorded as being only half that.
Fearing for the monkey’s health, he went and saw it, expecting it to be sickly and skeletal. However, the monkey seemed totally normal. Confused told his staff to weigh the monkey again.
They did, but the number they reported was still astonishingly low. Sure it was a mistake, he went to weigh the monkey for himself. But when he put the monkey on the scale, it showed a number that was still far too low, and couldn’t possibly be right.
After a moment he spotted the problem: behind the scale was a grab bar on the wall, and the monkey had stealthily grabbed it with its tail, and was supporting some of its weight off the scale that way.
So the monkey's weight was fine, they just weren't paying attention to de tail.
Suddenly I realized how many proctologists are on the road.
...to hide their buttquacks!
They’re immediately taken back to a room.
Soon, a Labrador walks in, sniffs the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. Then a cat comes in, stares at the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. Finally, the doctor
comes in, prescribes some medicine and hands the man a $250 bill.
“This must be a mistake,” the man says. “I’ve been here only 20 minutes!”
“No mistake,” the doctor says. “It’s $100 for the lab test, $100 for the cat scan and $50 for the medicine.”
::Lifts up arms and flexes muscles::
Because these puppies are sick.
An animal cracker.
The vet says, “What seems to be the problem?”
The cat says, “Meow.”
The vet says, “Okay, where?”
"Well, son. You see, one is an eye doc and the other is a ewe doc."
They both make junk disappear
It was a little aukward.
Because these pythons are sick!!
The cat looks at the man and says "Meow". The man looks at the cat and says "I know, that's why we're here".
he finally decided to take his career seriously and stopped monkeying around.
See Alice for a reptile dysfunction.
The AKC deems that a different sort of pet-degree.