My step mom comin through with the spice girl puns
How do you get a farm girl to like you?
I once dated a girl with a wooden leg.
I think the girl at the Airlines check-in just threatened me.
She looked me dead in the eye and said, “Window or aisle?”
I laughed in her face and replied, “Window or you’ll what?”
I went on a date last night with a girl from the zoo
It was great. She’s a keeper.
A girl invited me to have sex on her Honda Civic
But i like to have sex on my own Accord
Catboy is a boy with cat ears and catgirl is a girl with cat ears
Since I’m neither gender with cat ears, does that make me Nyan-binary?
What are the two steps to marrying a country girl?
First; a tractor.
Next; fertilizer.
I want to tell you about a girl that ate plants
but you've probably never heard of herbivore!!
In an alternate universe, Hercules was a girl.
I just met a girl named Ally
Glad to know she was on my side.
I once dated a girl that had a twin. . .
People always asked how I could tell them apart but it was pretty easy.
Jessica had purple fingernails, James had a dick.
The girl is the middle of the tennis court
My son asked, "Dad, every time I talk to girls, I get butterflies in my stomach! What should I do?!" I gently put my arm around him and replied, "That's easy son..."
"Stop eating caterpillars!"
Me: I me this girl with a dozen breasts My friend: that sounds strange...
I ran into this vegan girl who said she knew me
I had to tell her I'd never met herbivore.
How do you know if an ant is a boy or a girl?
They’re all girls, otherwise they’d be uncles!
Did you hear about the girl who put gorilla glue in her hair?
Her stupidity knew no bonds
Whaddya call a girl with one leg shorter than the other?
Eileen.
Whaddya call her Asian cousin.
Irene
Saw nice guy try to help a girl with her spreadsheet
A girl came into my bookstore and asked "What are the chances you have a book on curing eating disorders with religion?"
Slim to Nun?
(Incidentally this is a true story and I got yelled at)
someone asked me why i'm dating a girl that works as a typist
i said she's just my type.
I once went on a date with a girl called Simile.
I don't know what I metaphor.
I once knew a girl who married a Chinese.
She had to Chang her last name.
Why can't you feel anything for a pretty girl named anne?
Because all you get is the Anne Aesthetic
Hey girl!! Are you a newspaper?
Because there's a new issue with you everyday.
10 yr old daughter playing video games yells, “GIRL!”
Dad response, “You know it’s true...”
Daughter laughs (she actually likes my Dad jokes... heh) 🙂
Why do trans girls float on water?
I made a girl in a wheelchair laugh today.
In college, I used to live on a houseboat, and started dating the girl next door.
Eventually we drifted apart.
So the doctor sat me down and gently revealed to me me that my child is a boy trapped in a girls body...
...Until my wife gives birth that is. Only three more months to go!
What did the group of girls say when they went into the unfinished singles bar?
A girl asked me if I was antisocial....
I said I don't care if others are social as long as they leave me out of it
If a girl is preventing you from reaching your goal....
A girl approached me today at a restaurant and asked if I was single...
I said YES. And she said "Cool' and took the chair to her table for her boyfriend.
Today I asked a hot girl at the gym what her new year's resolution was. She replied “Screw you!”
So I'm pretty excited for the new year!
I once dated two girls called Edith and Kate. Kate found out and told Edith that I was dating both of them at the same time. They both broke up with me on the very same day!
Moral of the story is you can’t have your Kate and Edith too
so my drummer friend and her partner just had triplets. Girls. Their names?
Anna One, Anna Two, Anna 1-2-3.
A Girl takes a pregnancy test, mortified, she looks her boyfriend, dead in the eyes, and says...
Why are boy keyboards scared of girl keyboards?
They don’t want to get qwerties.
If girls with big boobs work at Hooters where do girls with only one leg work?
I met a girl with 12 breasts
Sounds strange, Dozen tit?
How do you get a farm girl to marry you?
I once met a girl with 12 breasts. It sounds strange...
I went on a blind date with a vegan girl.
What do you call a girl in the middle of a tennis court?
My son asked, "Dad, every time I talk to girls, I get butterflies in my stomach! What should I do?!" I gently put my arm around him and replied, "That's easy son..."
"Stop eating caterpillars!"
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