That girl with only fans used to be really hot

Until she got an air conditioner.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DesertWolf45
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2021
🚨︎ report
A girl with three cats told me that she wanted to get another cat

I was confused why she wanted a hat made of forks

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LastLeave8770
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2021
🚨︎ report
I once told a girl that her body was shaped like a ketchup bottle.

She took it as a condiment.

πŸ‘︎ 79
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πŸ‘€︎ u/avandoorslaer
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2021
🚨︎ report
I once dated a girl that had a twin. . .

People always asked how I could tell them apart but it was pretty easy.

Jessica had purple fingernails, James had a dick.

πŸ‘︎ 99
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BenFranksta
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2021
🚨︎ report
I want to tell you about a girl that ate plants

but you've probably never heard of herbivore!!

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spicoli0525
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2021
🚨︎ report
My son asked, "Dad, every time I talk to girls, I get butterflies in my stomach! What should I do?!" I gently put my arm around him and replied, "That's easy son..."

"Stop eating caterpillars!"

πŸ‘︎ 872
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
So the doctor sat me down and gently revealed to me me that my child is a boy trapped in a girls body...

...Until my wife gives birth that is. Only three more months to go!

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RealTheAsh
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Me: I me this girl with a dozen breasts My friend: that sounds strange...

Me: dozen tit?

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lordofthstrings
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
🚨︎ report
what do you call a dozen girls named monica that produce music?

a harmonica

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chrome_sus
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2021
🚨︎ report
someone asked me why i'm dating a girl that works as a typist

i said she's just my type.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AdalgarDietbitch
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2021
🚨︎ report
I once dated two girls called Edith and Kate. Kate found out and told Edith that I was dating both of them at the same time. They both broke up with me on the very same day!

Moral of the story is you can’t have your Kate and Edith too

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/redirishlad
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
🚨︎ report
It has been scientifically proven that girls reach the age of puberty earlier than boys. Girls develop boobies around the age of thirteen...

...and boys develop them around the age of forty…

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Recent studies have shown that roughly 80% of goth girls in our country's high schools enjoy reading parenting magazines.

Strangely enough, they mostly only read the daddy issues.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/M1ST3RT0RGU3
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
There's a girl group that consist of failed fashion models.

They are called One Expression

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TL4Life
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
🚨︎ report
A little girl turns to her mother and asks, "What is that rasta man cooking behind us?"

The mother turns around to look and says, "I don't know sweetie. What Jamaican?"

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/psyqqer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife told me that she was pregnant with twin girls.

I told her that I wanted to name the first one Kate. She asked what I wanted to name the second one. I answered Duplicate.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZappBrannigansLaw
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
More stock photo puns from this silly siteπŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒ Is that the girl from distracted boyfriend?

[ Removed by reddit in response to a copyright notice. ]

πŸ‘︎ 124
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hilloviikot
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I told this girl I was talking to that I like to race cars, she asked me if I win often

I said no, the cars are much faster

πŸ‘︎ 481
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arnowhite
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I was talking to a girl that had alot on her chest...

... she said it was good to talk abou tit

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ismailizhere
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
🚨︎ report
I once fell in love with a girl that only knew 4 vowels.

Unfortunately she didn't know I existed.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/revolut1onname
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I tried learning about all the different kinds of aircraft but I quickly found out girls didn’t like that basic personality trait

They thought I was such a plane guy

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notmyname3623
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I met a girl on tinder whose bio said she used to work at a meat packing plant and that she'd heard all the jokes before...

So I asked her out on a date for the weekend but to let me know by Friday if she had to can salami.

(Cancel on me)

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I proclaimed to my wife that the world does not revolve around our little girl. Perturbed, she shot back, "Why on Earth would you ever say that!?" I explained, "Well, it's really quite simple you see, she's our daughter..."

"...not our Sun."

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a south American girl that's always in a hurry?

An urgent tina

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/masesarkidd
πŸ“…︎ Jun 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Did I ever tell you about the girl that only ate plants?

I can't believe I never mentioned herbivore.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cavtrpr017
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
🚨︎ report
If a girl thinks long and hard enough about becoming an e-girl, does that make her thotful?
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WickedSamaritan
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I ran into a girl at a vegetarian restaurant that said she new me

But I've never met herbivore

πŸ‘︎ 70
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ramzee24
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I was driving this girl to her house and told her that I wasn't good with directions, she laugh at me...

So I just right her left there.

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EvanThepuncake
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I just discovered that Cardi B's mother was one of the Spice Girls.

Stage name: Cardamom

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zaxxonn26
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I knew this girl who wanted bigger boobs, but couldn't afford proper implants, so she had her uncle make her a false set out of pine.Would be great if I had a punchline to go with that though,

Would be great if I had a punchline to go with that though, wooden tit?

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IAMBiSH
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
🚨︎ report
β€œThere’s a puppy on that girls shirt.”

no, that’s a top dog

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jlionbad
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2020
🚨︎ report
That little girl must have had a long day because she looks bushed
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yugvijay
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about that girl who thought she was a small sailboat?

She's just a little dinghy.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2020
🚨︎ report
A couple expecting a baby girl made a long list of possible names for a girl child, but only one name in the event that they have a boy. They ended up having a boy.

He was named Justin Case.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kilokiilo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
🚨︎ report
If the family that popularized gull-winged doors had a baby girl, and they wanted to name her in honor of Star Wars...

She could be Amanda Mandalorian DeLorean

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KairuSmairukon
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
🚨︎ report
How will a tomato seller will tell his girl that he likes her ?

Seller : I like you from my head TO-MA-TOES

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HahaNotSoFunnycom
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a girl that looks like a guy?

A-man-duh

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2020
🚨︎ report
You meet a man on the Oregon Trail. He tells you his name is Terry. You laugh and say, "That's a girl's name!" Terry shoots you.

You have died of dissin' Terry.

πŸ‘︎ 184
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2019
🚨︎ report
You’re traveling the Oregon Trail and you meet a man named Terry. You say β€œTerry? That’s a girls name!” He pulls out his gun and shoots you.

You have died from dissin’ Terry

πŸ‘︎ 184
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sincons
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2019
🚨︎ report
A Nine year old girl has gone missing after using moisturiser that makes you look 10 years younger
πŸ‘︎ 68
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dylanthereidy
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Turns out that , the curvy girl I knew died yesterday . What a waist!
πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheExist3r
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
🚨︎ report
My son asked, "Dad, every time I talk to girls, I get butterflies in my stomach! What should I do?!" I gently put my arm around him and replied, "That's easy son..."

"Stop eating caterpillars!"

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
🚨︎ report
It has been scientifically proven that girls reach the age of puberty earlier than boys…

Girls develop tits around the age of thirteen, boys develop them around the age of forty…

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I want to tell you all about a girl that only ate plants.

You've probably never heard of herbivore.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mcsweepin
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
I wanna tell you a joke about a girl that only eats plants...

But you’ve probably never heard of herbivore

πŸ‘︎ 31
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Y_U_SO_MAD_BRO
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I once told a girl that her body was shaped like a ketchup bottle.

She took it as a condiment.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/invertedparadoxxx
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2020
🚨︎ report

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