Which Hollywood actor can tell his car's odometer reading without looking at it?

Miles Teller

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πŸ‘€︎ u/supra_elongata
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2021
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My son; Dad, did you see some blonde Hollywood actress named Reese something…just stabbed a bunch of people?

Me; Witherspoon? My son; No, with her knife.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Red-Beaulieu
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2021
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Hollywood isn't real.

They're all just paid actors.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ricerly
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
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I always wanted to be a Hollywood waiter.

So I decided to get a job as a film star and hope a chef spots me.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/northernsou
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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My favorite Hollywood movie has to be β€œThe Curious Case of Benjamin Button”.

It never gets old.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
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Hollywood isn’t real

They are all just payed actors

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GotKarprar
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
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Did you know Hollywood awards shows aren't real?

It's just a bunch of paid actors and actresses in the audience.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mlydon11
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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I want to write a screenplay about a Hollywood director who camps out in the wilderness until the pandemic passes.

His name is Tentin’ Quarantino.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spsheridan
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2020
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Hollywood is going to make an action movie about the great composers.

Sylvester Stallone said "I'll be Beethoven".

Bruce Willis said "I'll be Mozart".

Arnold Schwarzenegger said "I'll be Bach".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
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What do you call a cow from Hollywood?

A moovie star

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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You hear about the pig farmer that tried to make it big in Hollywood?

Had to move back home because he had too many poor scenes

**thought of it on the bus ride home, be gentle haha

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirTurkTurkelton
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
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Yesterday, I ran into a Hollywood celebrity, who kept yelling , β€œI piy the fool!”

I said, β€œHey, you missed a T.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
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Imagine a world without toilet paper turning to Hollywood for answers...

Shit just got reel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
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A friend posted a pic of her at the Hollywood Bowl and the big screens read β€œFree Wi-Fi”
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πŸ‘€︎ u/squirrelboii
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
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The ultimate dad joke a Hollywood could pull would be casting Ryan Gosling as Goose’s son in Top Gun 2.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Conan-doodle
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
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Why does Hollywood always portray Werewolves as evil and violent?

It's just a lazy lycan-trope.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dogmanistrator
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2018
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I’m really proud of my friend’s collection of Hollywood acting equipments.

Props to him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2019
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What do you get when you cross a famous Hollywood actress with a meta punchline?

Natalie Portmanteau

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lukiiiiii
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
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What happened to the pufferfish when he went to Hollywood

He blew up

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Frozenfeet77
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2019
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A friend of mine quit their job recording background sounds for Hollywood films to open a spa.

I have to say that the difference in my skincare regimen is incredible, now that it's ex-foley aided!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lemonwizard
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2019
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Why did the moon go to Hollywood?

To become a star

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Big_Nasty54
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
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I was walking down Hollywood Boulevard when I ran into Vanilla Ice vigorously scratching his head.

Lice, Lice, maybe?

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2018
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Land was removed in 1949 to create Hollywood

https://i.imgur.com/lm1T4pr.jpg

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πŸ‘€︎ u/-xenomorph-
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2017
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That famous Hollywood actor decided to open a bakery.

It's called Bread Pit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/celsotavora
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2018
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A reverend was arrested in Hollywood

He asked for Christian Bale

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HattyCastle
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2018
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What's the difference between Bollywood and Hollywood?

Only the first letter

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/H4ck_th3_w0r1d
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2018
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Naomi Watts is one of the most powerful actresses in Hollywood
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SalazarRED
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2017
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What’s the hottest soup restaurant in Hollywood?

The one where’s Reese with her spoon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lum1nar
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2018
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Why did the Uterus get kicked out of hollywood?

It was ovary-acting

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πŸ‘€︎ u/imzwho
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2017
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Why are crash test dummies so successful in Hollywood

Because all their vehicles are smash hits

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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyosk
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2018
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How did the nervous female organ that was going to Hollywood feel?

They were overreacting.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2016
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The latest Hollywood health craze is to regularly drink a mixture of almond milk and milk of magnesia.

It's called a Blue Diamond Phillips.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GRWeston
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2017
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Hollywood

If caught wearing sunglasses in a place where they're technically not needed my dad say's "Hey Hollywood". Every.Single.Time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sleerts
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2013
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I ran into a Hollywood celebrity at a bar. He had a mullet and kept yelling, β€œI piy the fool! I piy the fool!”

I said, β€œHey, you missed a t.”

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2019
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