Whenever my friend smells, he says things in the wrong order.

He's got a terrible case of body Yoda

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09
🚨︎ report
If the room smells bad, light a candle.

It just makes scents.

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DarthLlamaX
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
🚨︎ report
What is red and smells like blue paint?

Red paint

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DeletedForSpamm
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10
🚨︎ report
What’s blue and red and smells like shit?

Blue and red shit.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pickledust465
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08
🚨︎ report
If you notice a terrible smell that you're familiar with...

Did you reekognize it?

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bentnotbroken96
πŸ“…︎ May 17
🚨︎ report
My friend can smell when trouble is brewing...

He's the scenter of a tension.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 26
🚨︎ report
My sister: Wow dad, you smell good

Dad: I know, it’s because I use both of my nostrils

πŸ‘︎ 111
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ItsAdani
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16
🚨︎ report
I told my dad that "This wine smells funny"

He replied "because it's Shartonnay".

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rwwterp
πŸ“…︎ May 19
🚨︎ report
Why do people with gas smell?

Because they have noses.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mattxfish
πŸ“…︎ May 10
🚨︎ report
What sings and smells like coffee?

Frank Sumatra

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stubble
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05
🚨︎ report
What is worse than the smell of toes?

The taste of da-feet.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/gtsmart821
πŸ“…︎ May 04
🚨︎ report
What's green and smells like blue paint?
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/1kings2214
πŸ“…︎ May 08
🚨︎ report
An old woman goes to see the doctor. "I'm very gassy, but fortunately my farts are quiet and don't smell. In fact, I've farted three times since you came in, but know you haven't noticed at all."

The doc nods his head, gives her some pills and tells her to come back in a week.

A week later, the old woman comes back and is very upset. "I'm still very gassy, but now my farts are really loud and smell like a porta-potty at a chili festival!"

The doc says "Well now that we've cleared up your hearing and sense of smell, we can do something about your gas!"

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notagoodspelller
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16
🚨︎ report
Singer of Smells Like Teen Spirit
πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Darkathion890
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24
🚨︎ report
So I bought a large mammal repellant spray recently, and I absolutely cannot stand the smell!

It's unbearable!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12
🚨︎ report
What smells better then it tastes?

A nose

πŸ‘︎ 75
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kinker222
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02
🚨︎ report
Son: dad you smell good

Dad: thnx, I use both nostrils

πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yonris
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26
🚨︎ report
Did you hear that Julie Andrews will no longer be supporting cheap lipstick? It crumbles easily and makes her breath smell.

In a quote she said "The super color fragile lipstick gives me halitosis".

πŸ‘︎ 74
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/yougotyolks
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03
🚨︎ report
My father made my sister smell with some spices...

Pap-reek-her

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/maccer20
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19
🚨︎ report
What is black and smells like green paint?

Black paint.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/taroqi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08
🚨︎ report
Where did they used to mass produce scents and smells?

At the olfactory

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/greatreference
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03
🚨︎ report
What's red and smells like blue paint?

Red paint

πŸ‘︎ 747
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/broeshweehn
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m addicted to ordering cheap body sprays from other countries because of the smell.

I love foreign axe scents.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/allanon101
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
🚨︎ report
At work the other day my foreman said β€œyou smell like old spice”

I instantly responded β€œI swear it was new when I bought it” this was the moment I knew my wife and I we’re ready to start trying.

πŸ‘︎ 40
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kk_blake63
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02
🚨︎ report
Which insect smells the best?

Deodor-ant.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PotBuzz
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27
🚨︎ report
My wife wants to leave me because I can’t smell.

*spell.

πŸ‘︎ 55
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/alliedcola
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
🚨︎ report
There’s a new company that goes in conventions and claim they can track you by your smell

But they can’t do it without your con scent

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lurebat
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09
🚨︎ report
What’s red and smells like blue paint?

Red paint

πŸ‘︎ 62
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/UnhappyTatorTot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Two parrots are sitting on a perch. One turns to the other and asks, "do you smell fish?

"

πŸ‘︎ 119
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
🚨︎ report
What smells worse than winning?

Defeat.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/brendan_07
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19
🚨︎ report
Why do cats farts smell good?

They're Purr-Fumes

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Monkey_the_dragon
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06
🚨︎ report
do you smell somthing burning?
πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/khaytox
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What's red and smells?

Rudolph's nose.

πŸ‘︎ 67
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/emjay144
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Why does a cow-milking farm smell so bad?

Because of the dairy air

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BunzarTheFuzzy
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09
🚨︎ report
I’m addicted to ordering hatchets from other countries because of the smell.

I love foreign axe scents.

πŸ‘︎ 164
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What does punctuation use to smell good?

Semi-cologne.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OrikamiPanio
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
🚨︎ report
How can my feet smell

If they don’t have a nose?

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_Alex_2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
🚨︎ report
A new Tesla doesn't come with the new car smell...

It comes with an Elon Musk.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Broken_Sparrow93
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What's invisible and smells like a carrot?

A bunny fart

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Those northern canadians can smell a liar a mile away

And they wont have Nunavut

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21
🚨︎ report
If you could predict what scents you will smell in the future...

...you would be Nose-tradamus

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ninety-five95
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
🚨︎ report
Something on your face smells.

It's your nose!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FranktheSirMan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12
🚨︎ report
What do you call a statement about smell?

Deodorant

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Alzandre
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
🚨︎ report
A candle with no smell?

It doesn't make scents!

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/n3rv0u5
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I smell something
πŸ‘︎ 684
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MeledoJames
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
🚨︎ report
What is invisible and smells like bananas?

Monkey Farts

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you make a Wookiee smell good?

You use De-yoda-rant

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/enchilada1214
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Why is it better to smell roses and lemons than a pile of poop?

It’s just plain common scents.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the perfume that smells of nothing?

I think it's total non scents.

πŸ‘︎ 279
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/December_Soul
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
🚨︎ report
The one eye says to the other, "between me and you, something smells.."
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/keenan316
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
🚨︎ report
You can measure light and sound, but how do you measure smell?

scentimeters

πŸ‘︎ 71
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mistermajik2000
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What do carnival workers smell like?

Fairomones

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
🚨︎ report
What does paper smell like?

It smells like sheet.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_BLOODYLEGEND_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s clear and smells like carrots?

Rabbit farts

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sandlewoodshire
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Do you guys know which album Smells Like Teen Spirit was on?

wait I got it, nevermind

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hank_the_Hand
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
🚨︎ report
My kids asked whether you smell burnt toast or burnt popcorn when you're having a stroke

I told them, "It's Different Strokes for Different Folks."

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dadraik
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
🚨︎ report
Wife and I were driving past a dairy farm, and all she could smell was manure

I guess she prefers a clean dairy air

*edit. This actually happened. She almost tipped the car her eyes rolled so hard.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SalmonGram
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
🚨︎ report
My bottle of Chardonnay just spoke to my steak! It said, "you smell great!" The steak responded, saying "you're a great vintage yourself!" The meal was delicious!

I guess the secret to a good meal is pairing food and wine that compliment each other!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What looks like an apple, smells like an apple, tastes like an apple but you should never eat it?

Someone else’s apple

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Trtlman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What do cows smell when they're standing single file waiting to be milked?

Dairy air.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrthatsthat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a Labrador Retriever trained to smell for meth?

A Meth Lab.

πŸ‘︎ 79
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s invisible and smells like carrots?

Bunny farts πŸ₯•πŸ’¨

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/saltcrystal100
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call the smell of money

...Elon.... Musk...

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pleaseluv
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Whats blue and smells like red paint?

Blue paint. (From a friend)

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cheme13on
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I have a recurring dream that I lose the ability to taste, see, smell, hear and feel.

My wife says it's nonsense.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thepixelcat2
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s blue and smell like red paint

Blue paint

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chlochlobeans
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do cherry trees smell?

Because George Washington cut one.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ogre_easy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Witnessed in the wild, old dude talking to a sick little kid: Did you know that if your nose runs and your feet smell you're built upside down?
πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/YourMom102938
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
🚨︎ report
My farts smell like butterscotch.

Ya, they either smell like Butt or Scotch

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AssNiner
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What smells better than it tastes?

A nose

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MrMenAreCool
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
🚨︎ report
What smells better than it tastes?

A nose

πŸ‘︎ 74
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Whats blue and smells like red paint

blue paint

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Boop108
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
🚨︎ report
What's red and smells like blue paint?

Red paint

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MacItaly
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What smells better than it tastes?

Your nose.

πŸ‘︎ 83
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/expressionless420
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
🚨︎ report
What's red and smells like blue paint?

Red paint

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/otesNmoney
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
What's red but smells like blue paint?

Red paint

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GroundyBreak
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What is red and smells like blue paint?

Red paint!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Two parrots are sitting on a perch. One turns to the other and asks, "do you smell fish?

"

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2019
🚨︎ report
Two parrots are sitting on a perch. One turns to the other and asks, "do you smell fish?

"

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
🚨︎ report
What smells better than it tastes?

A nose

πŸ‘︎ 228
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/0u3f
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What is Red and smells like Blue Paint?

Red Paint

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/you_buy_this_shit
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Whats red and smells like blue paint?

Red paint

πŸ‘︎ 143
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_disguisenburg_
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2019
🚨︎ report
What’s red and smells like blue paint?

Red paint.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shanekeith_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
🚨︎ report

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