So proud of my daughter for this one... "Why do fishes swim in salt water?"

Because pepper would make them sneeze!

She's six. She's awesome.

EDIT: Woo highest rated post, thanks to my kid. Also, I never said she wrote it! She just told it to me. So there.

πŸ‘︎ 16k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/evanphi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03
🚨︎ report
My 8yr old daughter got me with "I can breathe under water"

She filled a cup of water placed it on her head and began to violently and rapidly breathe in and out. The force is strong with her.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/theevildave
πŸ“…︎ May 13
🚨︎ report
My daughter really changed a lot after becoming a vegan.

It’s like I’ve never seen herbivore.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bbbbra
πŸ“…︎ May 18
🚨︎ report
My daughter was having a pretend dinner party with her teddy bear, when she asked, β€œDo you want anything to eat, Mr. Bear?” In my best bear voice, I replied...

β€œNo thanks, I’m stuffed!"

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20
🚨︎ report
Daughters boyfriend introduced himself to me he said "Hi sir I'm david, nice to meet you".

He put out his hand and I said "David are you nervous?" He said no so I grabbed his hand looked him in the eyes and said "then why are you shaking?"

πŸ‘︎ 27k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fartingpinetree
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07
🚨︎ report
So my daughter is clearing the table and holds her cup above her head and says "Dad look..."

"I'm breathing underwater."

I've never been prouder.

πŸ‘︎ 13k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03
🚨︎ report
I told my daughter, β€œMom keeps asking me if I’m an Alice in Wonderland character and it’s getting really annoying!” She asked, β€œAre you mad at her?”

β€œGeez! Don’t you start too!” I screamed.

πŸ‘︎ 168
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
🚨︎ report
My 11yo daughter just made up a joke. What do politicians thing of themselves?

That they're politicool...

Im biased but i think its genius

πŸ‘︎ 12k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Happy1327
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04
🚨︎ report
What does a lawyer name his daughter?

Sue

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JonnySnowtime
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
🚨︎ report
What did the drummer name his twin daughters?

Anna 1, Anna 2

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/scooby_dyver
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
🚨︎ report
I warned my daughter about using her whistle inside the house today and gave her one last chance...

Unfortunately, she blew it...

πŸ‘︎ 679
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21
🚨︎ report
I snuck up behind my daughter and whispered, "I think our microwave and our TV are spying on us!!! And I also think our vacuum cleaner..."

"...has been gathering dirt on us for years!"

πŸ‘︎ 98
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 18
🚨︎ report
My daughter asked me if I can make her a bath

I’ve never built a bath before, can someone help me with plumbing it in?

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cozzo123
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03
🚨︎ report
My daughter FINALLY got an β€˜A’ on her essay!!

Only 1,999 more words to go!!

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 20
🚨︎ report
Son/Daughter: Hey I got a haircut! What do you think?

Dad: Looks like you got them all cut.

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ May 22
🚨︎ report
My daughter asked me where the remote is.

I told her it’s in a remote location.

πŸ‘︎ 29
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NotSoSasquatchy
πŸ“…︎ May 28
🚨︎ report
From my 8yr old daughter....

What do you get when you cross a pug and a pig?

Puglets!!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TuraacMiir
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05
🚨︎ report
4YO Daughter (frowning): β€œBaba, I don’t like you”

...”I love you”.

Oh, the timing, bless her comic soul.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/krathulu
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03
🚨︎ report
My daughter said the "S" Word today.

Sword.

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Clever_Sean
πŸ“…︎ May 13
🚨︎ report
My daughter asked for a PB&J

I delivered it on a dad joke platter

http://imgur.com/a/98MD4lO

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pladhoc
πŸ“…︎ May 25
🚨︎ report
My daughter asked me what I planned to do today

"Well first, mom and I are gonna go pick up our prescription glasses"

"And then we'll see."

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainWolfo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06
🚨︎ report
My daughter thinks I invade her privacy way to much.

At least that’s what I read in her diary.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_Mental_Note_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11
🚨︎ report
My daughter wanted to play hide and seek in the dark. I said "That means I would only be able to find you using sound ...

so nah!"

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Conan-doodle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08
🚨︎ report
Wife: "I made our daughter a waffle this morning."

Me: "Well thanks for changing her back."

πŸ‘︎ 45
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CryptoReaper5
πŸ“…︎ May 01
🚨︎ report
What did the drummer name his twin daughters?

Anna one Anna two

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Islander399
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
🚨︎ report
If I ever have twin daughters...

I'll name them Kate & Duplikate.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sheriff-Douchebag
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26
🚨︎ report
My daughter put her eye patch on my girlfriend's head like a horn.

Who knew she was able to breed unicornias

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
🚨︎ report
My daughter thinks I’m overprotective and nosy

At least that’s what she wrote in her diary.

πŸ‘︎ 122
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/02K30C1
πŸ“…︎ May 06
🚨︎ report
My daughter wanted to know how to make an omelet...

But I couldn't eggslpain.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/l_a_z_y_b_u_g
πŸ“…︎ May 12
🚨︎ report
I proclaimed to my wife that the world does not revolve around our little girl. Perturbed, she shot back, "Why on Earth would you ever say that!?" I explained, "Well, it's really quite simple you see, she's our daughter..."

"...not our Sun."

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 16
🚨︎ report
Daughter: Dad, I have a crush on The Rock

Dad: Keep at it! You will eventually wind up with a diamond !

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/phish_tacos
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07
🚨︎ report
I taught my daughter what the word bargain meant...

She said, β€œThanks dad, that means a great deal.”

πŸ‘︎ 79
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30
🚨︎ report
I was watching Star Wars with my daughter. She asked why Luke was climbing inside a Tauntaun, I said to keep warm.

She asked how warm is it inside. I said Lukewarm.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/charlie_8011
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
We wanted to homeschool our daughter, but...

... she wasn't accepted :(

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ba71905
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
🚨︎ report
My 4 year old daughter’s first dad joke...Why did the dinosaur eat vegetables and fruit?

Because he didn’t like sour mice.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/envengpe
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04
🚨︎ report
My wife and I were in the hospital with my 2 year old daughter who had a allergic reaction to a tomato...

Her face went red and her cheeks swelled up making her look just like a tomato.

After the nurse and my wife finished talking about her reaction, I just couldn’t help but blurt our β€œwell, you are what you eat”

My wife eye rolled, the nurse just looked at me with a deadpan face and said β€œwell done” and walked off.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Drahcir1
πŸ“…︎ May 19
🚨︎ report
My daughter: I'm turning 32 next week so I want to celebrate in a big way

Me: Okay but don't get your hopes up we're only going to celebrate for half a minute.

She: What? Why?

Me: Because it's your thirty-second birthday

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 17
🚨︎ report
Daughter is having trouble homeschooling at the moment. "Argh i can't spell today..."

T-o-d-a-y

Boom

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/adz1179
πŸ“…︎ May 22
🚨︎ report
Used to date the rich daughter of a wealthy sausage tycoon.

That spoiled brat was the wurst!

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mrthatsthat
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23
🚨︎ report
My daughter said she didnt wanna deal with lice

But i told her we had to take this problem head on

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HESMILEZ463
πŸ“…︎ May 06
🚨︎ report
My 6 year old daughter has lined up all of her dolls towards the outdoor grill...

Looks like she’s preparing some kind of Barbie queue...

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 13
🚨︎ report
Why did my daughter think my two sisters would protect her from coronavirus?

Because now she had aunty bodies around her.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 16
🚨︎ report
I taught my daughter the word many

It meant a lot to her

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jpereira73
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28
🚨︎ report
My daughter’s wedding was this weekend

It was so beautiful, the cake was in tiers

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/UmDeTrois
πŸ“…︎ May 20
🚨︎ report
I was on the phone and my daughter said β€œyour phone is so loud.”

I said β€œYeah, I have my volume up high because I’m deaf.” She replied β€œhi deaf.” ....I’m so proud

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ May 10
🚨︎ report
Picky eater results in epic dad joke from my daughter...

My middle child, who loves rice, declined the yellow rice we offered him because apparently he only likes one type of rice.

Without missing a beat my daughter (11 y/o) exclaimed, "stop being rice-ist."

My job is done, clearly there is no more I can teach her.

πŸ‘︎ 692
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dr_Nik
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14
🚨︎ report
So proud of my daughter! We’re watching the dog desperately trying to get the cat to play with her. Me: β€œDog can’t hang because she’s a dump truck and and the cat is a Ferrari. Daughter:

Don’t you mean a β€œFur-rari”?

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Epic_pale
πŸ“…︎ May 09
🚨︎ report
Father and daughter are staying at two stories house AirBNB and the daughter asks her father

- What's upstairs?
- Unfortunately, the stairs don't talk.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RG_PankO
πŸ“…︎ May 16
🚨︎ report
I told my daughter she was drawing her eyebrows too high

She looked suprised

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sigge02
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22
🚨︎ report
I want to Express my daughter's age as a fraction 6/12, 9/12, 16/12 etc.. my wife is really upset about it.

In our house It's really causing some division

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lornstar7
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22
🚨︎ report
My daughter keeps horsing around during nap time

I’m tired of her foal play

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zeusthedog92
πŸ“…︎ May 15
🚨︎ report
My daughter was playing dress up and asked if I knew were any hats were

I said, "Not off the top of my head. Ba dum tss"

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Frankie_Dankie
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14
🚨︎ report
In car earlier with wife, daughter, parents. We drive by a cemetery. My dad says β€œyou guys know how many people are dead in there?”

In unison dead pan my wife and mother: β€œall of them”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/donniccolo
πŸ“…︎ May 19
🚨︎ report
My teen daughter was complaining about life under β€œSafer at home”. β€œI can’t see my friends, there’s literally nothing to do that’s not online. Even my classes are online!”

I said, β€œOK, Zoomer.β€œ

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IDRambler
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29
🚨︎ report
My daughter came up with this! What's the coldest cereal?

Frosties.

So proud.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11
🚨︎ report
I gave my daughter a watch for her birthday. She thought it was so cool and when she showed it to the next door neighbor, he asked, "That's a pretty watch you've got there! Does it tell you the time?"

She laughed and said, "No, this is an old-fashioned watch! You have to look at it!"

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ May 03
🚨︎ report
I reattached a cup holder to my son's car seat the other day. My daughter (5yo) taunted him, saying, "I have TWO cup holders!" I told her, "It's not a competition," to which she replied...

"But it is a CUP-etition!"

... I've never been so proud of her.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JoshSamBob
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20
🚨︎ report
My daughter came home from the toy store with a spherical Pixar fish toy. She asked me if I thought it was cute.

Cute? It’s a Dory ball!

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/shibarak
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29
🚨︎ report
I heard my daughter going potty, so I asked if she was from France.

She said β€œno why?” I said β€œβ€˜cause European”

She said β€œI don’t like your dad jokes, they’re the worst.” I responded β€œno, those are from Germany”

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Snozzwanger
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11
🚨︎ report
My teenage daughter asks me every day how she looks...

And I always reply 'with your eyes, silly!'

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LudwigFeuerbach
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26
🚨︎ report
My daughters was doing poetry homework and she asked me what rhymes with poor?

I said β€œwar, ore, door”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/man-hat-tan
πŸ“…︎ May 13
🚨︎ report
Wife proposed our daughter’s name to be Isabella

I replied in Italian accent: β€œNo, she’s Isagirlla”

Edit: with better response

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/waterox33
πŸ“…︎ May 06
🚨︎ report
My daughter just now... β€œDad, would you rather eat a raw fish or a matter baby?”

Me: β€œlove, what’s a matter baby?”

Her: β€œnothing. What’s a matter with you?”

I’m so proud.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Scubazz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04
🚨︎ report
My daughter informed me that the earth is tilted at a 23.5 degree angle /r/Jokes/comments/g7nncw/…
πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mikelb5
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25
🚨︎ report
Daughter: Eww! There's a fly in my water

Dad: Don't worry, it won't drink very much

Scenes from last night's dinner table

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tetrix_
πŸ“…︎ May 02
🚨︎ report
What does your teen daughters wardrobe have in common with trying to post memes without watermarks?

You hope to avoid crop tops and cutoffs.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TennisADHD
πŸ“…︎ May 02
🚨︎ report
My two month old daughter doesn’t like being put down to sleep.

I’m going to try complementing her instead.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheTayloceraptor
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19
🚨︎ report
My daughter and I were shopping the other day. She found some shoes that she couldn’t live without.

She was shoe-icidal.

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/n07myusername
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05
🚨︎ report
While having dinner last night, my daughter looked up at me and asked, "Daddy, you're the boss in our family, right?" Proudly, I replied, "Yes, my little princess, yes I am!"

She continued, "That's because mommy put you in charge, right?"

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15
🚨︎ report
My daughter insists she is becoming a Southern Belle.

I told her she is my favorite ding-dong.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SpazMasterK
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26
🚨︎ report
My daughter's hair is so tangled and frustrating.

It's knotty

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bonenigma
πŸ“…︎ May 05
🚨︎ report
Daughter had a balloon with a penny in it.

So, for Easter, my wife and I got our 2-year-old an array of balloons from a delivery service, including some pre-inflated pieces you could β€œbuild your own butterfly” with, etc. It was pretty cool, but coolest of all was this clear balloon pretty tightly inflated with a single penny in it, and if you shook the balloon enough, the penny would eventually find its way to circling the inside of the balloon.

Those balloons lasted for weeks, until today. If you’ve ever seen a clear balloon deflate, you know it gets a little yellow and opaque.

My wife found it laying around and brought it to me, saying, β€œThis looks like a condom with a penny in it.” And I said, β€œThat’s why they call it a money shot.”

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dormsta
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27
🚨︎ report
*wife drops phone into container with daughter’s goldfish crackers*

Oh no you dropped your phone in the fish bowl now it’s gunna be all wet

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LetsAspire
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27
🚨︎ report
If I have twin daughters, I’ll name one Kate.

And I’ll name the other DupliKate.

πŸ‘︎ 134
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 08
🚨︎ report
The other dads in my Zoom meeting today may have been a bit jealous. I mentioned how my adolescent daughter has been so generous and nice during quarantine while I use the family computer for work, instead of her wasting time all day, watching YouTube. I have to say,

I'm glad to have the no-vid kind teen.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xxUsernameMichael
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27
🚨︎ report
My daughter wants a boyfriend, but hasn't been asked out yet. To comfort her, I bought her a little lamb, and named it "Relation".

It's officially her first relationsheep.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dahublubsdamub
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15
🚨︎ report
My wife tried to unlatch our daughter's car seat with one hand and said, "How do one armed mothers do it?" Without missing a beat I replied, "Single handedly."
πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I grew a beard in isolation and I asked my daughter "Should I shave my beard?β€œ she said "No Dad, it's grown on me"

I said "Funnily enough it's grown on me too!"

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/NerdonSight
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17
🚨︎ report
Daughter: Ewww. Dad, someone at this cookout has deodorant that is not working.

Dad: It's not me - I'm not wearing any deodorant!

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/phish_tacos
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08
🚨︎ report
I turned my daughter into a radio

She's not very e-static about it.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Eggsy_anon
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21
🚨︎ report
Ok brace yourselves for an absolute travesty of a joke, said during bathtime after water got into my daughter's eyes.

I told my wife:

There's the captain water, and the crewmember water. The captain water says: "All right crewmembers, do you know where you have to go?" The crewmember water replies: "Eye eye, sir!"

This earned me a proper facepalm from my wife which I shall wear proudly as a badge of honor and now share here with you.

πŸ‘︎ 69
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/OiTheRolk
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07
🚨︎ report
My daughter screeched, "Daaaaaad, you haven't listened to one word I've said, have you!?"

What a strange way to start a conversation with me...

πŸ‘︎ 73
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πŸ‘€︎ u/grag01
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05
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My daughter's tired of the jokes... After hours of dad jokes she asked me to leave her a loan.

Years later and the loan is worth $23,000

She said she'd trade it for more dad jokes any day<3

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 19
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What did the drummer call his twin daughters?

Anna One, Anna Two

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πŸ‘€︎ u/random_guy5454
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17
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My daughter asked me why I don't tell any dad jokes. I said they were too dull...

I only tell edgy jokes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Arrakis_Surfer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12
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My daughter asked me what the opposite of isolate is.

I told her yousoearly

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πŸ‘€︎ u/den_nis3524
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21
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Yelled down the street to my daughter while she was walking my FIL's little chihuahua: "Hey did you get that dog on sale??"

It certainly looks like you got it half off!!

I could hear the groan all the way up the street..success!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Malbert215
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15
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If I have twin daughters I'll name one Kate,

and the other duplikate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bjs1023113
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17
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Bill Nye has a daughter who doesn't believe in science.

Her name is Dee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArshmanR
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
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My daughter found a candy wrapper to play with.

I call him chance.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nyccfan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13
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I walked downstairs to find my daughter eating cereal in complete darkness

I asked her, "What kind of psycho eats cereal in the dark?"

"A cereal killer" she replied.

I have taught her well.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TriggerHippie77
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29
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The Emperor of Gorgasol refused to appoint his daughter as his heir.

Needless to say, she was not empressed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Miketar85
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05
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What did the drummer name his twin daughters?

Anna 1, Anna 2

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jbird221
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16
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What did the drummer name his twin daughters?

Anna one Anna two

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fanoran
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09
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