The lad and I were in my kitchen prepping Thanksgiving dinner and he asked me for a whisk, so I gave it to him. (That's not the joke.) He asked if I had a smaller one, and I responded that was the only one he had. To which he replied: "Then I guess... that's a whisk I'll have to take."
I was so proud.
Stepdad: No Stepson
My 5 year old stepson was sitting next to my wife on the couch, and a devious idea crossed mind. I called the boy over after a quick Googling and showed him the product of my search. He asked what it was, and I promptly told him they were boobies. I looked at the wife in time to see this amazing look of terror wash over her face. Still shocked, he says, "Hey Momma, want to see some boobies?" He grabs my tablet and shows her a picture of the most beautiful, soft looking blue footed boobies I could find. Her initial shock quickly turned to laughter and I was satisfied.
When my stepson asks 'Can I use the toilet quickly?':
'Let's find out - I'll time you. Go!'
I think he hates me.
I've told my wife, my stepson, and my stepdaughter this joke. Only my stepson appreciated it.
> Q: What did the muffler say to the carburetor? > > A: "I'm exhausted."