My cousin posted two jokes on this sub, but the mods deleted both of them.

He is my cousin, twice [removed]

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
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My cousin peed his pants the other day.

I told him "Yer in trouble."

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/soloazn
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
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Albert Einstein married his cousin Elsa

Even his marriage was relative

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/siddharth_pillai
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
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My cousin had a bad experience on the tram

Now he's tramatized

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πŸ‘€︎ u/morningshawa
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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My Cousin Blames Me For Him Tripping On His Own Driveway.

I don’t understand, it’s his own stupid asphalt.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CalmingVisionary
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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TIL that Both Charles Darwin and Albert Einstein married their first cousins.

For both, it’s all relative.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CapnFancyPants
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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My cousin got seriously beaten in school. He was really weak, so he started training karate.

Now he is beaten at school and karate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Felipe_Silva_
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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Recently went camping with my deaf cousin.

It was quiet in tents.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DatRawDough
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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My cousin is trying to fit the most elephants, geese and bulls ever in a vintage music shop.

He's breaking all sorts of records.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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Ever heard of the CakeMouse's famous cousin?

The PieRat

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strungen
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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My cousin told his dad this one.

"Hey Dad, what do you get when you add five Q's to five Q's ?"

"Uh, ten Q's? Right?"

"You're welcome. Not a problem."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/saketho
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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My sister asked me to keep my nephew from playing games on his tablet all night. I suggested he builds a fort with his cousin.

He instantly replied, β€œbut mom said I couldn’t play Fort Night”

(He’s gonna be a great dad some day)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cbt711
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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My cousin died when an A/C unit fell on him.

What a cool way to go!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lordstevenson
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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My cousin tries to keep posting jokes on this sub, but gets repeatedly banned by the mods.

He’s my cousin, twice [removed].

πŸ‘︎ 543
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
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I was playing football with my younger cousin earlier today

Unfortunately, I kicked it too hard and it broke the window. We called the repair guy and, apparently when he came two hours later, the window was still in pane.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wavykevy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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Grandma texted to say my cousin named her baby girl Hadison.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fishbulb77
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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My cousin texted me this.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tomodachi_boi
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
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Picking my cousin up from work at Target, asked her if she's in Style this week (fitting room/clothing)

Her dad said "she's never in style, she's always out of style. Her clothes never look good"!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/filipinochewy97
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
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My young cousin showed me a stuffed lion wearing a tux.

Told me it’s a β€œdandy-lion”.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BHarcade
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
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Just found out my cousin who had a stuttering problem died in prison

He didn't even finish his sentence

πŸ‘︎ 159
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πŸ‘€︎ u/13010013
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
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My Canadian cousin used to be an alcoholic

He's doing better since he joined the Eh Eh

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PygmeePony
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
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My cousin is an aspiring plumber. He asked me how to be successful.

"Hard work and defecation."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Simounstar
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
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I recently found out that my spanish friend killed his cousin because he stole his train model.

Guess it is a pretty loco motive

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Michael428
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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My cousin runs a thriving deer farm.

He’s really rolling in the doe.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
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My 4 year old cousin told me that cows make milk. So naturally I told her the brown cows make chocolate milk. And her jaw hit the floor. I then told her that pink cows make strawberry milk and then she caught me in my lie and said...

No, pigs do that!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ball_hawk15
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
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Have you heard of tiktok's cousin?

He is called tic tac

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vytisgytis
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
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My 7yo cousin told my dad this joke yesterday:

Context: Yesterday my dad and I were cruising around doing some father's day bonding. We see a big grassy field with some trees in it and he says, "That looks like a great place to play frisbee." I respond, "And an even better place to play frisbee golf!" (A game we made up where you throw frisbees around trees)

My cousin was quietly playing on her iPad when she responds, "That's hockey."

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lindsbo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
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My cousin got into a car accident and lost his entire left side, he kept saying he was all right but I didnt believe him so he just kept yelling at me.

'Stuff was completely one-sided

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Unspecified_bagel
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
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My stupid cousin thinks he's collected one of every board game ever made.

That idiot doesn't have a Clue.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrthatsthat
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
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My cousin Elle got married to Menno Peters; so now I call them the alphabet couple...

... Elle & Menno P. ... If they ever have kids, I'm lobbying hard for Jake and Kay.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2020
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Did anyone know that Cardi B had an Irish cousin who is a lung/heart specialist?

She's named Cardi O'Vascular.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/goldsmobile
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
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I just found out that my cousin with a stuttering problem died in prison.

He didn’t even finish his sentence.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Insayne-iwnl
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
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Was so happy that my cousin passed the bar!!

I mean it was closed.. covid and all.. but still happy.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PrisonMike1111
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
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Did you know that Shakespeare had a cousin in the army?

The cousin wasn't a writer or anything, just a soldier with Parkinson's. They say he wielded quite the shaky spear.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_Mjolner_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
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I asked my cousin how old his dad was, he said β€œsix”?

I said β€œhow can your dad be only six when you’re six?” He said β€œbecause he’s only been a dad since I was born.”

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BawkMcGraw
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
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My cousin is a geometry teacher who simply abhors x, y and z...

He considers them to be the Axes of Evil.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
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Did you hear Ludacris' cousin Lewis started rapping?

He calls himself Ridiclewis.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the-caped-cadaver
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2020
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My cousin thinks she's clever...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/creepyfollow
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
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What do you call an onion’s more fun cousin?

Funions

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kmckenzie7
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2020
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My cousins are like the letter K.

They are okay by themselves, but get horribly racist when 3 of them get together.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
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A cousin of mine is in charge of distribution for this big pickle company; he was freaking out over the weekend after sending only miniature pickle chips to a restaurant that asked for full sized ones..

They told him it wasn't a big dill, though.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Y33T-HAW
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2020
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My cousin's middle school student drew this in her art class
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MagicalBear202
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
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my cousin doesnt often think before she cracks a joke
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dykejoon
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2019
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Did you know Al Capone had a cousin in Scotland?

They called him the Loch Ness Mobster.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/NeoDashie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2019
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Did you know E.T. has an Italian cousin?

His name is Z.T.

-A joke told by my dad when I was on the phone with him this weekend.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
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