My cousin posted two jokes on this sub, but the mods deleted both of them.
He is my cousin, twice [removed]
My cousin peed his pants the other day.
I told him "Yer in trouble."
Albert Einstein married his cousin Elsa
Even his marriage was relative
My cousin had a bad experience on the tram
My Cousin Blames Me For Him Tripping On His Own Driveway.
I don’t understand, it’s his own stupid asphalt.
TIL that Both Charles Darwin and Albert Einstein married their first cousins.
For both, it’s all relative.
My cousin got seriously beaten in school. He was really weak, so he started training karate.
Now he is beaten at school and karate.
Recently went camping with my deaf cousin.
My cousin is trying to fit the most elephants, geese and bulls ever in a vintage music shop.
He's breaking all sorts of records.
Ever heard of the CakeMouse's famous cousin?
My cousin told his dad this one.
"Hey Dad, what do you get when you add five Q's to five Q's ?"
"Uh, ten Q's? Right?"
"You're welcome. Not a problem."
My sister asked me to keep my nephew from playing games on his tablet all night. I suggested he builds a fort with his cousin.
He instantly replied, “but mom said I couldn’t play Fort Night”
(He’s gonna be a great dad some day)
My cousin died when an A/C unit fell on him.
My cousin tries to keep posting jokes on this sub, but gets repeatedly banned by the mods.
He’s my cousin, twice [removed].
I was playing football with my younger cousin earlier today
Unfortunately, I kicked it too hard and it broke the window.
We called the repair guy and, apparently when he came two hours later, the window was still in pane.
Grandma texted to say my cousin named her baby girl Hadison.
My cousin texted me this.
Picking my cousin up from work at Target, asked her if she's in Style this week (fitting room/clothing)
Her dad said "she's never in style, she's always out of style. Her clothes never look good"!
My young cousin showed me a stuffed lion wearing a tux.
Told me it’s a “dandy-lion”.
Just found out my cousin who had a stuttering problem died in prison
He didn't even finish his sentence
My Canadian cousin used to be an alcoholic
He's doing better since he joined the Eh Eh
My cousin is an aspiring plumber. He asked me how to be successful.
"Hard work and defecation."
I recently found out that my spanish friend killed his cousin because he stole his train model.
Guess it is a pretty loco motive
My cousin runs a thriving deer farm.
He’s really rolling in the doe.
My 4 year old cousin told me that cows make milk. So naturally I told her the brown cows make chocolate milk. And her jaw hit the floor. I then told her that pink cows make strawberry milk and then she caught me in my lie and said...
Have you heard of tiktok's cousin?
My 7yo cousin told my dad this joke yesterday:
Context: Yesterday my dad and I were cruising around doing some father's day bonding. We see a big grassy field with some trees in it and he says, "That looks like a great place to play frisbee." I respond, "And an even better place to play frisbee golf!" (A game we made up where you throw frisbees around trees)
My cousin was quietly playing on her iPad when she responds, "That's hockey."
My cousin got into a car accident and lost his entire left side, he kept saying he was all right but I didnt believe him so he just kept yelling at me.
'Stuff was completely one-sided
My stupid cousin thinks he's collected one of every board game ever made.
That idiot doesn't have a Clue.
My cousin Elle got married to Menno Peters; so now I call them the alphabet couple...
Elle & Menno P.
If they ever have kids, I'm lobbying hard for Jake and Kay.
Did anyone know that Cardi B had an Irish cousin who is a lung/heart specialist?
She's named Cardi O'Vascular.
I just found out that my cousin with a stuttering problem died in prison.
He didn’t even finish his sentence.
Was so happy that my cousin passed the bar!!
I mean it was closed.. covid and all.. but still happy.
Did you know that Shakespeare had a cousin in the army?
The cousin wasn't a writer or anything, just a soldier with Parkinson's. They say he wielded quite the shaky spear.
I asked my cousin how old his dad was, he said “six”?
I said “how can your dad be only six when you’re six?” He said “because he’s only been a dad since I was born.”
My cousin is a geometry teacher who simply abhors x, y and z...
He considers them to be the Axes of Evil.
Did you hear Ludacris' cousin Lewis started rapping?
He calls himself Ridiclewis.
My cousin thinks she's clever...
What do you call an onion’s more fun cousin?
My cousins are like the letter K.
They are okay by themselves, but get horribly racist when 3 of them get together.
A cousin of mine is in charge of distribution for this big pickle company; he was freaking out over the weekend after sending only miniature pickle chips to a restaurant that asked for full sized ones..
They told him it wasn't a big dill, though.
My cousin's middle school student drew this in her art class
my cousin doesnt often think before she cracks a joke
Did you know Al Capone had a cousin in Scotland?
They called him the Loch Ness Mobster.
Did you know E.T. has an Italian cousin?
His name is Z.T.
-A joke told by my dad when I was on the phone with him this weekend.