My cousin is obsessed with Belle Delphine (long)

I’m worried about my cousin. He’s 28 with a good job. Has a lot in common with me (nerdy habits: board games, gaming conventions, anime etc). Unfortunately I have recently learned that he is one of those poor souls obsessed with Belle Delphine. Apparently it started out innocently enough. My cousin is into cosplay. He’s into girls. Ooh, there’s cosplay girls on the internet? What began as a YouTube channel subscription and a few dozen likes on Instagram has progressed into something much more serious. This man is spending money. My cousin’s social media accounts have recently featured pictures of him with his Belle Delphine merch. T-shirts, body pillows, there’s even some kind of bed spread/comforter with her googly-eyed tongue-outy face on it. Did you know that Belle Delphine briefly partnered with Tom’s shoes for a limited edition series of footwear? I knew that, because my cousin won’t shut up about how he bought them all. He’s got at least three jars of dirty bath water and a gaming keyboard with her face on it. It’s really sad. I think the isolation of the pandemic really exacerbated his behavior. He says that he and Belle are destined to be together. For my part, I’m telling him that this isn’t healthy behavior, and I’m encouraging him to seek counseling. I’m convinced he has a mental health issue like Obsessive Love Disorder or Erotomania. Afterall, he does have all of the Simp Toms.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 01
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Why did Bruce Lee get scared by his cousin from Sudan? Because cousin SudanLee appeared out of nowhere.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/osksama1
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23
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who was shakespeares reptilian cousin?

snakespeare

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πŸ‘€︎ u/skaah
πŸ“…︎ May 29
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One of my cousins is thinking of becoming a Dominican monk. I think he was drawn to their decision making process.

Those Dominicans have quite the republic.

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πŸ“…︎ May 18
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A cousin of mine posted a couple of jokes on this sub, but the mods deleted them.

He’s my cousin, twice [removed]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29
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My 8 year old nephew attended his first wedding. But his cousin had a question for his after the ceremony.

"Hey, how many women can a guy marry?"

"16!"

"How did you figure that out."

"Simple. I just listen to the minister and added them up: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer. That's 16!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lodiman77
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29
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I went to my cousin and said β€œskattadly bop biddop.” He didn’t like it so I replied β€œskiddly bip skattup.”

There’s more than one way to Scat a Kin.

Note: couldn’t crosspost from r/dadjokes. Just reposted my own post...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/boredkid03
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20
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I was commenting on how everyone at my cousin's science academy commencement looked like cylinders.

Since they're all... graduated.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/changhaobyu
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16
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Playing β€œtag” in the Addams Family must be very confusing if your cousin’s there...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jnolife
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17
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Did you know Danny DeVito has a cousin from the old west?

Danny BanDito.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bloatedplutocrat
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12
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Does anyone know if Barney Rubble has any cousins?

If he doesn't that means he's a Rubble without a cuz.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheGreatVeggie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18
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What do you call Mary J Blige’s overly accommodating Irish cousin?

Mary O’Blige

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sekearney95
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12
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Albert Einstein married his cousin Elsa

Even his marriage was relative

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πŸ‘€︎ u/siddharth_pillai
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
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My cousin peed his pants the other day.

I told him "Yer in trouble."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/soloazn
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
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My cousin had a bad experience on the tram

Now he's tramatized

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πŸ‘€︎ u/morningshawa
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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TIL that Both Charles Darwin and Albert Einstein married their first cousins.

For both, it’s all relative.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CapnFancyPants
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
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My Cousin Blames Me For Him Tripping On His Own Driveway.

I don’t understand, it’s his own stupid asphalt.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CalmingVisionary
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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My cousin tries to keep posting jokes on this sub, but gets repeatedly banned by the mods.

He’s my cousin, twice [removed].

πŸ‘︎ 549
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2020
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Recently went camping with my deaf cousin.

It was quiet in tents.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DatRawDough
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2020
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My cousin is trying to fit the most elephants, geese and bulls ever in a vintage music shop.

He's breaking all sorts of records.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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Ever heard of the CakeMouse's famous cousin?

The PieRat

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Strungen
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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My cousin told his dad this one.

"Hey Dad, what do you get when you add five Q's to five Q's ?"

"Uh, ten Q's? Right?"

"You're welcome. Not a problem."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/saketho
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
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My cousin texted me this.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tomodachi_boi
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
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My cousin died when an A/C unit fell on him.

What a cool way to go!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lordstevenson
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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Grandma texted to say my cousin named her baby girl Hadison.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fishbulb77
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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I was playing football with my younger cousin earlier today

Unfortunately, I kicked it too hard and it broke the window. We called the repair guy and, apparently when he came two hours later, the window was still in pane.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wavykevy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2020
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My sister asked me to keep my nephew from playing games on his tablet all night. I suggested he builds a fort with his cousin.

He instantly replied, β€œbut mom said I couldn’t play Fort Night”

(He’s gonna be a great dad some day)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cbt711
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2020
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Just found out my cousin who had a stuttering problem died in prison

He didn't even finish his sentence

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πŸ‘€︎ u/13010013
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
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Picking my cousin up from work at Target, asked her if she's in Style this week (fitting room/clothing)

Her dad said "she's never in style, she's always out of style. Her clothes never look good"!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/filipinochewy97
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
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My cousin runs a thriving deer farm.

He’s really rolling in the doe.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2020
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My cousin is an aspiring plumber. He asked me how to be successful.

"Hard work and defecation."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Simounstar
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
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My young cousin showed me a stuffed lion wearing a tux.

Told me it’s a β€œdandy-lion”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BHarcade
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
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My Canadian cousin used to be an alcoholic

He's doing better since he joined the Eh Eh

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PygmeePony
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
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I recently found out that my spanish friend killed his cousin because he stole his train model.

Guess it is a pretty loco motive

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Michael428
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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My stupid cousin thinks he's collected one of every board game ever made.

That idiot doesn't have a Clue.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrthatsthat
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2020
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My cousin got into a car accident and lost his entire left side, he kept saying he was all right but I didnt believe him so he just kept yelling at me.

'Stuff was completely one-sided

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Unspecified_bagel
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
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My 7yo cousin told my dad this joke yesterday:

Context: Yesterday my dad and I were cruising around doing some father's day bonding. We see a big grassy field with some trees in it and he says, "That looks like a great place to play frisbee." I respond, "And an even better place to play frisbee golf!" (A game we made up where you throw frisbees around trees)

My cousin was quietly playing on her iPad when she responds, "That's hockey."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lindsbo
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2020
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Did anyone know that Cardi B had an Irish cousin who is a lung/heart specialist?

She's named Cardi O'Vascular.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/goldsmobile
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
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I went to my cousin and said β€œskattadly bop biddop.” He didn’t like it so I replied β€œskiddly bip skattup.”

There’s more than one way to Scat a Kin.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/boredkid03
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20
🚨︎ report
My cousin posted two jokes on this sub, but the mods deleted both of them.

He is my cousin, twice [removed]

πŸ‘︎ 16k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call Mary J Blige’s overly accommodating Irish cousin?

Mary O’Blige

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sekearney95
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12
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I just found out that my cousin with a stuttering problem died in prison.

He didn’t even finish his sentence.

πŸ‘︎ 150
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Insayne-iwnl
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report

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