My cousin is obsessed with Belle Delphine (long)
Iβm worried about my cousin. Heβs 28 with a good job. Has a lot in common with me (nerdy habits: board games, gaming conventions, anime etc). Unfortunately I have recently learned that he is one of those poor souls obsessed with Belle Delphine. Apparently it started out innocently enough. My cousin is into cosplay. Heβs into girls. Ooh, thereβs cosplay girls on the internet? What began as a YouTube channel subscription and a few dozen likes on Instagram has progressed into something much more serious. This man is spending money. My cousinβs social media accounts have recently featured pictures of him with his Belle Delphine merch. T-shirts, body pillows, thereβs even some kind of bed spread/comforter with her googly-eyed tongue-outy face on it. Did you know that Belle Delphine briefly partnered with Tomβs shoes for a limited edition series of footwear? I knew that, because my cousin wonβt shut up about how he bought them all. Heβs got at least three jars of dirty bath water and a gaming keyboard with her face on it. Itβs really sad. I think the isolation of the pandemic really exacerbated his behavior. He says that he and Belle are destined to be together. For my part, Iβm telling him that this isnβt healthy behavior, and Iβm encouraging him to seek counseling. Iβm convinced he has a mental health issue like Obsessive Love Disorder or Erotomania. Afterall, he does have all of the Simp Toms.
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︎ Jun 01 2021
Why did Bruce Lee get scared by his cousin from Sudan? Because cousin SudanLee appeared out of nowhere.
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︎ Feb 23 2021
who was shakespeares reptilian cousin?
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︎ May 29 2021
One of my cousins is thinking of becoming a Dominican monk. I think he was drawn to their decision making process.
Those Dominicans have quite the republic.
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︎ May 18 2021
A cousin of mine posted a couple of jokes on this sub, but the mods deleted them.
Heβs my cousin, twice [removed]
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︎ Apr 29 2021
My 8 year old nephew attended his first wedding. But his cousin had a question for his after the ceremony.
"Hey, how many women can a guy marry?"
"16!"
"How did you figure that out."
"Simple. I just listen to the minister and added them up: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer. That's 16!
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︎ Mar 29 2021
I went to my cousin and said βskattadly bop biddop.β He didnβt like it so I replied βskiddly bip skattup.β
Thereβs more than one way to Scat a Kin.
Note: couldnβt crosspost from r/dadjokes. Just reposted my own post...
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︎ Mar 20 2021
I was commenting on how everyone at my cousin's science academy commencement looked like cylinders.
Since they're all... graduated.
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︎ Apr 16 2021
Playing βtagβ in the Addams Family must be very confusing if your cousinβs there...
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︎ Jan 17 2021
Did you know Danny DeVito has a cousin from the old west?
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︎ Jan 12 2021
Does anyone know if Barney Rubble has any cousins?
If he doesn't that means he's a Rubble without a cuz.
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︎ Jan 18 2021
What do you call Mary J Bligeβs overly accommodating Irish cousin?
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︎ Jan 12 2021
Albert Einstein married his cousin Elsa
Even his marriage was relative
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︎ Nov 29 2020
My cousin peed his pants the other day.
I told him "Yer in trouble."
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︎ Dec 13 2020
My cousin had a bad experience on the tram
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︎ Dec 19 2020
TIL that Both Charles Darwin and Albert Einstein married their first cousins.
For both, itβs all relative.
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︎ Dec 02 2020
My Cousin Blames Me For Him Tripping On His Own Driveway.
I donβt understand, itβs his own stupid asphalt.
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︎ Dec 11 2020
My cousin tries to keep posting jokes on this sub, but gets repeatedly banned by the mods.
Heβs my cousin, twice [removed].
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︎ Apr 26 2020
Recently went camping with my deaf cousin.
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︎ Nov 10 2020
My cousin is trying to fit the most elephants, geese and bulls ever in a vintage music shop.
He's breaking all sorts of records.
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︎ Nov 14 2020
Ever heard of the CakeMouse's famous cousin?
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︎ Nov 16 2020
My cousin told his dad this one.
"Hey Dad, what do you get when you add five Q's to five Q's ?"
"Uh, ten Q's? Right?"
"You're welcome. Not a problem."
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︎ Sep 06 2020
My cousin texted me this.
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︎ May 15 2020
My cousin died when an A/C unit fell on him.
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︎ Aug 08 2020
Grandma texted to say my cousin named her baby girl Hadison.
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︎ Jul 21 2020
I was playing football with my younger cousin earlier today
Unfortunately, I kicked it too hard and it broke the window.
We called the repair guy and, apparently when he came two hours later, the window was still in pane.
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︎ Aug 08 2020
My sister asked me to keep my nephew from playing games on his tablet all night. I suggested he builds a fort with his cousin.
He instantly replied, βbut mom said I couldnβt play Fort Nightβ
(Heβs gonna be a great dad some day)
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︎ Oct 17 2020
Just found out my cousin who had a stuttering problem died in prison
He didn't even finish his sentence
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︎ Mar 22 2020
Picking my cousin up from work at Target, asked her if she's in Style this week (fitting room/clothing)
Her dad said "she's never in style, she's always out of style. Her clothes never look good"!
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︎ Aug 31 2020
My cousin runs a thriving deer farm.
Heβs really rolling in the doe.
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︎ May 20 2020
My cousin is an aspiring plumber. He asked me how to be successful.
"Hard work and defecation."
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︎ Jun 20 2020
My young cousin showed me a stuffed lion wearing a tux.
Told me itβs a βdandy-lionβ.
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︎ Aug 27 2020
My Canadian cousin used to be an alcoholic
He's doing better since he joined the Eh Eh
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︎ Jul 12 2020
I recently found out that my spanish friend killed his cousin because he stole his train model.
Guess it is a pretty loco motive
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︎ Jul 21 2020
My stupid cousin thinks he's collected one of every board game ever made.
That idiot doesn't have a Clue.
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︎ Feb 18 2020
My cousin got into a car accident and lost his entire left side, he kept saying he was all right but I didnt believe him so he just kept yelling at me.
'Stuff was completely one-sided
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︎ Apr 11 2020
My 7yo cousin told my dad this joke yesterday:
Context: Yesterday my dad and I were cruising around doing some father's day bonding. We see a big grassy field with some trees in it and he says, "That looks like a great place to play frisbee." I respond, "And an even better place to play frisbee golf!" (A game we made up where you throw frisbees around trees)
My cousin was quietly playing on her iPad when she responds, "That's hockey."
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︎ Jun 22 2020
Did anyone know that Cardi B had an Irish cousin who is a lung/heart specialist?
She's named Cardi O'Vascular.
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︎ Apr 28 2020
I went to my cousin and said βskattadly bop biddop.β He didnβt like it so I replied βskiddly bip skattup.β
Thereβs more than one way to Scat a Kin.
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︎ Mar 20 2021
My cousin posted two jokes on this sub, but the mods deleted both of them.
He is my cousin, twice [removed]
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︎ Jun 18 2020
What do you call Mary J Bligeβs overly accommodating Irish cousin?
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︎ Jan 12 2021
I just found out that my cousin with a stuttering problem died in prison.
He didnβt even finish his sentence.
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︎ Nov 27 2019
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