I’m worried about my cousin. He’s 28 with a good job. Has a lot in common with me (nerdy habits: board games, gaming conventions, anime etc). Unfortunately I have recently learned that he is one of those poor souls obsessed with Belle Delphine. Apparently it started out innocently enough. My cousin is into cosplay. He’s into girls. Ooh, there’s cosplay girls on the internet? What began as a YouTube channel subscription and a few dozen likes on Instagram has progressed into something much more serious. This man is spending money. My cousin’s social media accounts have recently featured pictures of him with his Belle Delphine merch. T-shirts, body pillows, there’s even some kind of bed spread/comforter with her googly-eyed tongue-outy face on it. Did you know that Belle Delphine briefly partnered with Tom’s shoes for a limited edition series of footwear? I knew that, because my cousin won’t shut up about how he bought them all. He’s got at least three jars of dirty bath water and a gaming keyboard with her face on it. It’s really sad. I think the isolation of the pandemic really exacerbated his behavior. He says that he and Belle are destined to be together. For my part, I’m telling him that this isn’t healthy behavior, and I’m encouraging him to seek counseling. I’m convinced he has a mental health issue like Obsessive Love Disorder or Erotomania. Afterall, he does have all of the Simp Toms.
Those Dominicans have quite the republic.
He’s my cousin, twice [removed]
"Hey, how many women can a guy marry?"
"16!"
"How did you figure that out."
"Simple. I just listen to the minister and added them up: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer. That's 16!
There’s more than one way to Scat a Kin.
Note: couldn’t crosspost from r/dadjokes. Just reposted my own post...
Since they're all... graduated.
Danny BanDito.
If he doesn't that means he's a Rubble without a cuz.
Mary O’Blige
Even his marriage was relative
I told him "Yer in trouble."
Now he's tramatized
For both, it’s all relative.
I don’t understand, it’s his own stupid asphalt.
He’s my cousin, twice [removed].
It was quiet in tents.
He's breaking all sorts of records.
The PieRat
"Hey Dad, what do you get when you add five Q's to five Q's ?"
"Uh, ten Q's? Right?"
"You're welcome. Not a problem."
What a cool way to go!
Unfortunately, I kicked it too hard and it broke the window. We called the repair guy and, apparently when he came two hours later, the window was still in pane.
He instantly replied, “but mom said I couldn’t play Fort Night”
(He’s gonna be a great dad some day)
He didn't even finish his sentence
Her dad said "she's never in style, she's always out of style. Her clothes never look good"!
He’s really rolling in the doe.
"Hard work and defecation."
Told me it’s a “dandy-lion”.
He's doing better since he joined the Eh Eh
Guess it is a pretty loco motive
That idiot doesn't have a Clue.
'Stuff was completely one-sided
Context: Yesterday my dad and I were cruising around doing some father's day bonding. We see a big grassy field with some trees in it and he says, "That looks like a great place to play frisbee." I respond, "And an even better place to play frisbee golf!" (A game we made up where you throw frisbees around trees)
My cousin was quietly playing on her iPad when she responds, "That's hockey."
She's named Cardi O'Vascular.
There’s more than one way to Scat a Kin.
He is my cousin, twice [removed]
Mary O’Blige
He didn’t even finish his sentence.
