My grandfather turned 90 today, but he still doesn’t need glasses.

He drinks straight from the bottle.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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My grandfather died because the report said he had Type A blood.

Unfortunately it was a Type-O.

πŸ‘︎ 220
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
🚨︎ report
My British friend was really proud of his heritage until he found out that his great grandfather was from Transylvania.

Now he can’t even look at himself in the mirror.

πŸ‘︎ 259
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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I have an antique globe that belonged to my great-great-grandfather.

It meant the world to him.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
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Why do they call it a grandfather clock?

Cause it's an old timer.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theflyestgrayson
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04
🚨︎ report
The last thing my grandfather told me was β€œIt’s worth spending money on good speakers.”

That was some sound advice.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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My grandfather lived for 96 years & he never used glasses.

He directly drinks from the bottle.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tfortamil
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
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My Grandfather survived Pepper spray and Mustard gas attacks in two wars...

... And came home to us a seasoned Veteran.

Edit : To use a war pun.. " Wow, this really blew up " ...Thanks to all for contributing to this bit of fun. I feel like Granddad now with all the medals.

πŸ‘︎ 19k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2020
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I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did.

Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RodrigoOrtuno
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
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My grandfather was an entertainer in a belt factory.

He’d walk from one area to the next, telling stories and jokes which built upon each other. Week after week, he kept the line workers entertained with his complex jokes. One day, he was fired when he forgot the hole punch line.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eruditeredditor
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
My grandfather always said that when one door closes, another one opens.

He was a terrible cabinetmaker.

πŸ‘︎ 56
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lwp1331
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
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What do you call a cranky grandfather?

A Grumpa.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked my grandfather how he was enjoying the new stairlift that was installed in his house.

He said, β€œIt’s driving me up the wall.”

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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The last thing my grandfather said to me before he died was β€œPints! Gallons! Litres!”

That spoke volumes.

πŸ‘︎ 347
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2020
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My grandfather had the heart of a lion

And a permanent ban from the nearby zoo

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jayraj77
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
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My grandfather died after eating too many gingerbread houses last Christmas.

Doctors said it was munch housin’ syndrome.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2020
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Before he passed away, my grandfather said, β€œHere are three words that would help open a lot of doors for you.”

Push and Pull.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2020
🚨︎ report
My grandson’s dad joke ( very proud grandfather) What kind of chips do you get at the airport?

Plane chips!

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yanual3d
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
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My grandfather’s last wish was that we convert his ashes into a diamond.

That’s a lot of pressure.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
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I heard something coming from my grandfather's urn.

He was speaking out of urn.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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What did digital clock say to Grandfather clock?

"Look Grandpa, no hands!"

πŸ‘︎ 109
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drempire
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2020
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I’ll never forget the last thing my late grandfather said to me.

Sorry I’m late.

πŸ‘︎ 174
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Light_bulbnz
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
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Do you know the last thing my grandfather said to me before he kicked the bucket?

"Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket."

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BroSose
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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I try speaking to my grandfather in his urn.

I have a feeling he is turning a deaf ear.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
My grandfather lived to be 95 and never used glasses.

He always drank right from the bottle.

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jobillard20
πŸ“…︎ Jun 30 2020
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My grandfather was a plumber, my dad and brother are plumbers.

So if you see me with plumber’s crack, just know it’s in my jeans.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bill7747
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2020
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In memory of my Italian grandfather, i started a restaurant.

It's called Pasta Way!

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayanR666
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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My great grandfather always used to say to me that there were three types of people in this world

Those who can count, and those who can not.

(Another post reminded me of this. The great grandfather of mine in question passed away 4 years ago. He also always used to tell me β€œwater is for bathing, always remember that” while he drank a glass of anything alcoholic. Funny thing is he only drank like one small glass a day. Sorry for rambling).

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/J4keFr0mStatef
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
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I remember the last words my grandfather ever said to me. He said β€˜You selfish boy!’

Not long after that, I became a fishmonger.

πŸ‘︎ 71
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CaptainAsia97
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2020
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I cremated my grandfather back in 2000 and bought him the best urn.

It was the urn of the century.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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I have a collection of urns to transfer my grandfather's ashes between them.

I figure he wouldn't want to be cooped up in one urn for long. While transferring his ashes, I broke his good urn. I am going to buy him another good urn. I guess its as the saying goes "one good urn deserves another".

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
🚨︎ report
My grandfather’s broken watch is as relevant to my family today as it was to him 50 years ago.

It’s a timeless piece, really.

πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
🚨︎ report
My grandfather died because the report said he had Type A blood

Turns out it was a Type-O

πŸ‘︎ 167
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Russell_Pinto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
My British friend was really proud of his heritage until he found out that his great grandfather was from Transylvania.

Now he can’t even look at himself in the mirror.

πŸ‘︎ 116
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
🚨︎ report
The last thing my grandfather told me was β€œIt is worth spending money on good speakers.”

That was...sound advice.

πŸ‘︎ 42
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
🚨︎ report
When I die, I want to go out peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather...

Not kicking and screaming like the passengers in his car.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/soaraf
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
My Grandfather has the heart of a lion

And a lifetime ban from the zoo

πŸ‘︎ 10k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheGregGreg
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2020
🚨︎ report
My grandfather died because the report said he had type A blood

Unfortunately it was a Type-O

πŸ‘︎ 76
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fartingbeans312
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend was really proud of his British heritage until he found out that his great grandfather was from Transylvania.

Now he can’t even look at himself in the mirror.

πŸ‘︎ 724
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend was really proud of his British heritage until he found out that his great grandfather was from Transylvania.

Now he can’t even look at himself in the mirror.

πŸ‘︎ 30
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked my grandfather how he’s enjoying the new stair lift that was recently installed in his house.

He said, β€œI hate it. It’s driving me up the wall.”

πŸ‘︎ 67
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Before he died, my grandfather’s last wish was that we convert his ashes into a diamond.

That’s a lot of pressure.

πŸ‘︎ 54
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My grandfathers last wish was that we convert his ashes into a diamond.

That’s a lot of pressure.

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
🚨︎ report
My grandfather has the heart of a lion...

...and a lifetime ban from the local zoo.

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/MacItaly
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I will never forget the last thing what my late grandfather told me.

Sorry I'm late.

πŸ‘︎ 46
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/__teju
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
🚨︎ report

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