My grandfather turned 90 today, but he still doesn’t need glasses.
He drinks straight from the bottle.
My grandfather died because the report said he had Type A blood.
Unfortunately it was a Type-O.
My British friend was really proud of his heritage until he found out that his great grandfather was from Transylvania.
Now he can’t even look at himself in the mirror.
I have an antique globe that belonged to my great-great-grandfather.
It meant the world to him.
Why do they call it a grandfather clock?
The last thing my grandfather told me was “It’s worth spending money on good speakers.”
That was some sound advice.
My grandfather lived for 96 years & he never used glasses.
He directly drinks from the bottle.
My Grandfather survived Pepper spray and Mustard gas attacks in two wars...
... And came home to us a seasoned Veteran.
Edit : To use a war pun.. " Wow, this really blew up " ...Thanks to all for contributing to this bit of fun. I feel like Granddad now with all the medals.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather did.
Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
My grandfather was an entertainer in a belt factory.
He’d walk from one area to the next, telling stories and jokes which built upon each other. Week after week, he kept the line workers entertained with his complex jokes. One day, he was fired when he forgot the hole punch line.
My grandfather always said that when one door closes, another one opens.
He was a terrible cabinetmaker.
What do you call a cranky grandfather?
I asked my grandfather how he was enjoying the new stairlift that was installed in his house.
He said, “It’s driving me up the wall.”
The last thing my grandfather said to me before he died was “Pints! Gallons! Litres!”
My grandfather had the heart of a lion
And a permanent ban from the nearby zoo
My grandfather died after eating too many gingerbread houses last Christmas.
Doctors said it was munch housin’ syndrome.
Before he passed away, my grandfather said, “Here are three words that would help open a lot of doors for you.”
My grandson’s dad joke ( very proud grandfather) What kind of chips do you get at the airport?
My grandfather’s last wish was that we convert his ashes into a diamond.
That’s a lot of pressure.
I heard something coming from my grandfather's urn.
He was speaking out of urn.
What did digital clock say to Grandfather clock?
"Look Grandpa, no hands!"
I’ll never forget the last thing my late grandfather said to me.
Do you know the last thing my grandfather said to me before he kicked the bucket?
"Grandson, watch how far I can kick this bucket."
I try speaking to my grandfather in his urn.
I have a feeling he is turning a deaf ear.
My grandfather lived to be 95 and never used glasses.
He always drank right from the bottle.
My grandfather was a plumber, my dad and brother are plumbers.
So if you see me with plumber’s crack, just know it’s in my jeans.
In memory of my Italian grandfather, i started a restaurant.
My great grandfather always used to say to me that there were three types of people in this world
Those who can count, and those who can not.
(Another post reminded me of this. The great grandfather of mine in question passed away 4 years ago. He also always used to tell me “water is for bathing, always remember that” while he drank a glass of anything alcoholic. Funny thing is he only drank like one small glass a day. Sorry for rambling).
I remember the last words my grandfather ever said to me. He said ‘You selfish boy!’
Not long after that, I became a fishmonger.
I cremated my grandfather back in 2000 and bought him the best urn.
It was the urn of the century.
I have a collection of urns to transfer my grandfather's ashes between them.
I figure he wouldn't want to be cooped up in one urn for long. While transferring his ashes, I broke his good urn. I am going to buy him another good urn. I guess its as the saying goes "one good urn deserves another".
My grandfather’s broken watch is as relevant to my family today as it was to him 50 years ago.
It’s a timeless piece, really.
My grandfather died because the report said he had Type A blood
Turns out it was a Type-O
My British friend was really proud of his heritage until he found out that his great grandfather was from Transylvania.
Now he can’t even look at himself in the mirror.
The last thing my grandfather told me was “It is worth spending money on good speakers.”
When I die, I want to go out peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather...
Not kicking and screaming like the passengers in his car.
My Grandfather has the heart of a lion
And a lifetime ban from the zoo
My grandfather died because the report said he had type A blood
Unfortunately it was a Type-O
My friend was really proud of his British heritage until he found out that his great grandfather was from Transylvania.
Now he can’t even look at himself in the mirror.
My friend was really proud of his British heritage until he found out that his great grandfather was from Transylvania.
Now he can’t even look at himself in the mirror.
I asked my grandfather how he’s enjoying the new stair lift that was recently installed in his house.
He said, “I hate it. It’s driving me up the wall.”
Before he died, my grandfather’s last wish was that we convert his ashes into a diamond.
That’s a lot of pressure.
My grandfathers last wish was that we convert his ashes into a diamond.
That’s a lot of pressure.
My grandfather has the heart of a lion...
...and a lifetime ban from the local zoo.
I will never forget the last thing what my late grandfather told me.
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