Runs in the family .
I looked down to my feet, looked back up, and told them: “No, I still have just two.”
Kid: What are we having for dinner?
Husband: It's a surprise!
Kid: You mean a SUPPER-ise!
Kid is definitely ready to be a dad.
Grandpa said he's ready to retire from it.
They eventually reconciled after I got a promotion, but still consider me as a meh-son.
Because that's the only way they can hear me.
It was a so-be-it union.
"THIS IS WHY WE HAVE AUNTS!"
My girlfriend's mom was opening her Christmas gift when her sister asks why the wrapping paper says "Snow time" on it since there is no snow this Christmas.
I immediately come back with,
"Because there is snow time like the present!"
That’s how you get aunts.
My mom thought about it and said "You guys can call me Grammie!"
My dad, without missing a beat, said "Well then I guess you can call me Oscar."
/r/granddadjokes
Because they are great.
It was a so-be-it union.
Depends.
My Grandma looked around my apartment and noticed my wife and I didn't have any pictures of them in our place. This is how the conversation went:
Grandma: "I'm going to give you guys a picture of us. So you don't forget what we look like. We're not going to live forever."
Grandpa: "Not me, I plan on living forever. I'll die trying."
I thought it would be perfect for here. We all got a little chuckle out of it! Thanks for reading!
When my grampa learns that the couple next to them are on their honeymoon he leans over and goes "This is what you two are gonna look like in 50 years"
"Dad, the dashboard says the trunk is ajar."
-"Ajar? How can it be a jar? It's a trunk."
I loudly exhaled through my nose and just looked away.
Me: "What year were grandma and grandpa born?"
Mom: "1935"
Me: "Wow... think about how long ago that was."
Dad: "80 years ago, done."
Groans
As they're leaving
Me: Bye!
Grandpa: Sell, you'll make more money.
My dad to his sister "Did you hear about the two antenna that got married?" "no." "Oh, the wedding was alright, but the reception was great!"
My aunt and I lost it. The rest of the room filled with groaning.
Grandma: "Here's the hearing aid."
Dad: "What!?"
Uncle: "What!?"
This is just one of an entire morning of dad jokes
